IA and STDs?

Before this adoption process, if anyone had said to me, "What IA Doctor are you using?" I would have assumed they were asking me how I was caring for some some sexually transmitted disease I had contracted. Not so, and no relation. IA= international adoption doctor. From my microcosm, who knew that such a thing existed?

I've spent the better part of several days looking into these doctors, who by the way, are all over the country. These doctors specialize in internationally adopted children. It is highly recommended that we secure their services to evaluate our referral, so we will. (I am really coming to detest that word, "referral." It sounds so cold, so institutional like. I need to come up with something else: cowboy...buck-a-roo...or simply, baby. I'll work on that.) Any way, these doctors see hundreds of children from all different countries and are able to diagnose and treat those things not seen in our country. We don't live any where near an international adoption clinic, so we won't be using them as our primary care physician by any means. What we will use them for is to look over the medical records we get before we travel and then anything we receive once we get to Russia. They are able to decipher the nuances of the Russian medical community and let us know what the Russian diagnosis really means in the Western world. Our pediatrician has graciously said she would be more than willing to look over our "cowboy's" information, but I also know she doesn't see a lot of Russian children in these here sparsely populated parts.

We have several avenues in which we can choose. (A) a doctor in the US who will need the medical records translated, (B) a doctor in the US who wants the medical records in the original Russian language--obviously they've graduated passed the first two CDs in the Pimsleur language courses (C) use a western trained doctor in Russia who will travel to the orphanage.

Here's my short list: (Don't I sound like I'm a presidential candidate narrowing my choices down for vice-president? Sounds so official doesn't it!)

• Dr. Aronson (wants translated records)
• Dr. Davies or Dr. Bledsoe~Center for Adoption Medicine in Washington (wants translated records)
• Dr. Gordina~Global Pediatrics (original Russian medicals)
• Dr. Benikova~International Adoption Medical Center (original Russian medicals)
• in country western trained medical doctor in Russia. --Not sure of the specifics here, but it an option from our agency.
• Dr. Bruce Eckel~North Texas International Adoption Clinic (wants translated records)

Everyone is $400-500 for the referral evaluation; for an in country doctor it will costs around $1500. Those of you who have had experience in this, please give me your recommendations. I'm all ears! I've heard of several PAPs using two IA doctors, others using one IA doctor AND having a doctor travel to the orphanage, and any combination thereof. Sounds a bit like overkill to me, but I'm new at this, so advice is welcomed.

Oh, yes, the planner is coming out in me. I'm wanting to have this IA doctor chosen and have my plan of action when "the call" comes. I already know that I'll be in panic mode then, and with everything we'll have to get done before we leave, I'll have this already worked out.

Please be in prayer this week. The US and Russian delegation is to meet the 29th and 30th to iron out a bi-lateral adoption agreement. Some 50,000 Russian children have found wonderful caring homes in the US; common sense and cool heads shall prevail. Then we can get this show back on the road!

That Crazy Lady from Tennessee...

A lot of people have been asking me how the "crazy lady from Tennessee" is affecting our adoption. As of this morning, here's what I know: everything adoption is as confusing as me trying to give directions in my new found Russian language. News reports seems to be contradicting. Some MOE ministers are reporting that adoptions have halted--other ministers are saying adoptions have only slowed; still others are saying that no new adoptions are taking place--does that mean no new referrals? or no new court dates? or no new dossiers being accepted? The US State Department has said that adoptions are still progressing, and I know of a few families who are in Russia right now with court dates, US embassy appointments, etc. so that is true. Why the conflicting reports? Beats me! Maybe it is to "save face" in the Russian press. The US and Russia were to meet Monday to iron out the adoption issues, but the volcanic ash has the US delegation held up in Canada. Until the airways are opened up in Eastern Europe, I'm sure that meeting will be on hold. Our agency let us know last week that they had spoken with the Russian director in their St. Petersburg office, and she had not been informed of any adoption suspensions. She seems to think that adoptions will probably not be suspended, but there will probably be more paperwork for PAPs and probably stiffer post placement stipulations.

What's not mud: "We walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7. I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I am only moved by what I believe. One way or another, we will be bringing home a little boy. "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23.

On a side note, that little "do over" home study agency paper was at $80 piece of paper! $18 for the express mail to the courier; $28 for the courier service (we had to pay for an extra 10 minutes as there was a line at the SOS) and $34 for FedEx to Wyoming. Apparently, FedEx said my shipment weighed too much to be counted as an envelope??? Did the SOS apostille it with a hunk of iron or something? Since I actually didn't see the paper or actually mail it myself, I don't feel comfortable trying to refute it with FedEx. I just find it interesting that my one piece of paper cost more to ship than my 37 sheets for our mini dossier. Frustrating, but I also realize that all the PAPs caught in the middle of this adoption mess--waiting for a court date or trying to navigate the whole volcano episode-- would gladly pay three times that for a piece of paper in order to hear today that all adoption issues have been resolved, and they will be bringing their little ones home as originally scheduled.

Biometric Excursion

After navigating the unbelievable construction on Lubbock's loop, getting off on the wrong exit, and convincing Doug to stop and ask for directions since he said, "I have no idea where I am. I can't see the sun," we found the place. Borrowing from the police's decades old idea of unmarked police cars, the USCIS office in Lubbock has its own unmarked office building. Honestly, if it hadn't been for the address on our receipt, we would have never found it. Nothing on the office front says USCIS, fingerprints, or US government anything. While Washington, DC doesn't seem to be experiencing cutbacks, the same isn't true for the Lubbock division as the sign to the left of the door is the Homeland Security Advisory Alert handwritten on faded posterboard and uses velcro to attach the changing color code cards--we are in "yellow" today by the way, and it's the only potential clue that you are where you are suppose to be. No phones, cameras, recording devices, guns, kids, Grandmas, or anyone else who is not getting fingerprinted are allowed in the building.

For lack of a better name, we are met within 2 feet of entering the door by Security Guard Willie. Nobody is getting past the door mat without showing him your "letter of invitation" to be there. Willie checks our IDs and quickly glances at our fingertips. Doug's is a bit dry--he hasn't been using the Corn Huskers Lotion like I have. He gives each of us a plastic card with a number and an application to fill out. We sit down in one of the 30 or so chairs.

The place is busy. We arrived ON TIME--amazing I know--but there are already 10 or so people waiting. People keep coming in behind us. I'm thinking that they must move rather quickly to have so many people come in at the same time. Hmmm....now why was I thinking that???? Doug and I are the only English speaking people there except for the fingerprint officials who were clearly bilingual. We finish filling out our apps, and Willie invites us to his desk, which is in the center of this big room. We explain the misspelling of our names, he graciously corrects it by crossing out the "g" on our reciept, fills out the "for office use only" part of the app, takes our IDs, and now really studies our fingerprints for any potential problems. We're good to go, told to go wash our hands, and then wait for our number to be called. I notice not only on Willie's desk, but also on several desks in the room, the Corn Huskers Lotion of all things. I told Doug I knew what I was talking about!

So we wash, sit, and watch a AAA infomercial and a Murad acne infomercial on the apparent government issued video player. So I sat there with Doug, we sat there we two. And I said, "How I wish we had something to do!" Doug is really enjoying the AAA information--me, not so much. (Maybe it's because he's closer to 50 than I am.) I notice that there are only 2 fingerprint machines for all these people. At 11:50, we are finally called. They correct our names on the computer, and it takes about 10 minutes for each of us to give our biometrics. On fingers they have trouble getting a clear print, they wet the fingertip with water. Doug got squirted a lot. They had to use the water on me for only one finger. I tell you--this Corn Husker Lotion works!! Doug's fingerprint guy is very amicable--they talk and laugh throughout the whole process--they were obviously bonding. My guy was the strong silent type. He answered my questions politely with as few words as possible but did not volunteer any additional information. He does tell me he sees a lot of fingerprints and no fingerprints are the same, but even that little tidbit failed to form a bond between him and me. And that was it. One hour after arriving, we're walking out the door. Now we wait for our I-171H form.

On a side note, Annsley had an announcement when I got home. She has tooth that is loose! She's been asking and asking for months when her teeth are going to fall out. It is now happening. I teared up. Doug teared up. When I told Annsley that it was making me sad that she was getting big, she said in all her wisdom, "But Momma, that is how God made me. I'm supposed to grow up and lose my teeth."

Exciting Corn Huskers Review

I've been using the Corn Huskers Lotion as recommended by many a lay fingerprintee...I feel the need to comment. Quite frankly, I've found it to be amazing. Where I live is so incredibly dry--it's not uncommon for our dew points to be in the single digits--and my hands often look like snake scales and my fingertips have been known to crack. I've used Vaseline, Creamy Vaseline, store brand stuff, lanolin, you name it. Although those things helped, I couldn't grip my hair dryer to dry my hair because of the grease that was all over my hands. Corn Huskers lotion has no oil, and I referenced it to being made in the 1860s or something--probably not a reality there. The only 2 things I recognize on the list of ingredients is water and glycerin. I have serious doubts that calcium alginate was being sold out the the backs of covered wagons then. And no, I'm not going to do the research to find out when it was originally made, but feel free to take that task upon yourself! This lotion looks like it is a spawn of New England clam chowder and aloe vera gel. You will have to get past the smell though. It's like a mix of Noxema and Merle Norman cold cream that fermented just a little too long outside one day. The nice thing about it is though, once it has dried, the smell disappears for the most part. All I know is that I'll be keeping this stuff in my repertoire--even when I don't have an FBI fingerprint appointment in my foreseeable future.

That little "do-over" document arrived here Saturday from our home study agency. It is now on it's way to Austin to get apostilled. Our adoption agency decided the Wyoming wouldn't apostille it since it would have a TX notary signature on it as well, so Capitol Courier will be running another errand to the SOS for me. I didn't use FedEx this morning. I cheaped out and used the United States Post Office. (Does the sight of USPS workers conjure up images from that movie Men in Black or is that just me?) The "man" behind the desk guaranteed me it will be there by 12:00 tomorrow--$7 cheaper and only 2 hours later than FedEx. I am having the courier service use FedEx to get the form to our adoption agency however. It was just easier since I already have a FedEx account, and I know that whatever time the courier drops it off, it will be in Wyoming before 10:00 on Thursday at the latest.

Tomorrow is our exciting field trip to Lubbock!

Russian Adoptions in the News

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/apr/09/adoption-freeze-urged-after-boy-returned-russia/

I've been purposely avoiding writing about this subject until I felt like I could get my head wrapped around all of it. Really, I can't. There are so many sides to this story. My first reaction was initially, "How in the world could a mom do that?" Then, "Oh my goodness, this could affect me!" And then, "She and Grandma need to go to jail."

Today, I just feel an almost overwhelming sadness-- for this mother, her son, and the entire international adoptive community. I can only imagine what horrors she was facing--either imagined or real--to resort to this extreme behavior. Really, how desperate do you have to be to put your newly adopted 7 year old son on a plane by himself and basically say, "Sorry it didn't work out?" In no way what she did is excusable. I do not condone it one little bit. Her irresponsible behavior has caused turmoil and upheaval to all of us in the adoption arena--both with adoptive parents and also the hundreds of thousands of orphans in the Russian orphanages awaiting adoption. But I have to wonder was she really that desperate or just selfish? Did the orphanage not fully disclose the boy's mental condition? If it did, did she ignore the medical reports? Did she talk to others about her challenges? If she did, what did they say? If she didn't, why not? What help was offered? Did it seem like too big of a mountain to attempt to climb? Is 6 months home with an adoptive boy who has spent his entire life in an institution really enough time to work out any "problems?" I've read too many accounts about parents dealing with RAD--these parents are bona fide heroes as far as I'm concerned. What part of adoption did she think was "temporary?" Do a study on adoption from a Biblical perspective. That tie was as strong if not stronger than a biological son or daughter.

Russia is calling for a freeze on American adoptions. We, however, are going ahead with all things adoption, because like the 5 wise virgins from Mathew 25, we want to be ready when our name is called. God called us to this adoption; we know in our hearts we are to adopt a little boy, and these mountains will melt like wax (Psalm 97:5)--not because we are special, but because we have a shield of faith around us built upon Mark 11: 23-24: "For whoever says to this mountain, be removed and be cast in the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes the things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

Please pray for this mother and her grandmother, even though it may be difficult to do that. Pray that the American families will have favor with the Russian officials to continue adoptions without stopping and without experiencing repercussions from this incident. Please pray for peace for the families who are in the middle of their court date or waiting for their court date. I can't imagine the turmoil that they may be feeling now after meeting their son or daughter and talking and holding him or her. Please pray for a quick resolve to this issue for WACAP, the agency that has been suspended (and one of the better ones--especially in regards to post placement help from what I can tell), as all of their families are now in limbo. Pray that Russia will have a complete turn around and make a priority the children's welfare and care in their orphanages. Finally, pray for this little boy who was rejected yet again by someone who was suppose to care and love and nurture him.

Since we are carrying on as usual, I must tell you I have my Corn Huskers lotion bought and will be using it daily until our fingerprint appointment Tuesday. I've never used this stuff before, but it looks like some kind of concoction dating back to the 1860s. I've read suggestions to use this to make sure you get good fingerprints so that they don't have to be redone. Should I sleep with socks on my hands?

Do-over!

Apparently, it is true. I have heard the rumors about how "flighty" the Russian officials can be during the adoption process, and now we can say we have been on the receiving end of their fickleness. Joylyn, our dossier specialist, emailed me this afternoon to let me know that we are needing to redo a document. The inspector wants the agency cooperative agreement form on plain white paper--not agency letterhead. Yes, you read that right. They want it on the cheap stuff. This is something new I gather. I've emailed the form to Jenna because our home study agency will have to sign and notarize it, and I'm having her mail it directly to WCS to save time. Our agency can have it apostilled in their state since they will have to sign it as well.

I'm not quite sure where this puts us in the process...are we no longer registered until Russia gets this document, or are we registered but the process is on hold until Russia gets this piece of plain white paper, or are we registered and the process is moving along in spite of not having this piece of paper?--wishful thinking on my part I'm sure. Nonetheless, I'm excited to think that our paperwork is halfway around the world and somebody I don't know is sifting through it. All that means is we are one day closer to meeting our little boy!

Non-Adoptive Musings

I really like the part of the country I live in...it's very conservative, people will still stop and help a girl change her tire, we wave to cars we meet, and when we have a pretty day in the spring, it can't be beat. Those days, unfortunately, are rare for us in the Texas Panhandle. Today the wind is gusting close to 50 mph--and unfortunately, that is NOT rare for us in the spring. (sigh) Some people say our seasons go from winter to dirt to summer. I would have to agree with that. I get a kick out of people like Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel when he's covering a hurricane. Here he is standing at the sea wall, gripping his microphone like nobody's tomorrow, and saying,"Man, the wind is really starting to pick up here. I am having a hard time standing in this wind. We're now clocking sustained winds of close to 30 mph. If you're out and about, please watch out for flying debris." This 200lb guy is leaning into the wind for all its worth and can hardly keep his feet together. All I can say is he wouldn't last 10 minutes out here. If I stayed inside when the wind was blowing, I would never get anything done. When Annsley was a baby, we'd take a stroller walk as long as the wind was not over 25 mph--that was my limit on getting a infant out in the "elements." Waiting for a calm day during our springs would equate to waiting for Oprah to acknowledge my blog.

There is a difference in toilet paper. I think in the back of my mind I always knew that, but the realization was brought to my attention today. I'm cheap--frugal??--so I don't buy Charmin. I'm not so cheap that I buy Timber Cutter Toilet Paper either--you know, the kind you have to judo-chop to get it off the roll--but I had always thought the brand I did buy was soft. Not so. My mother brought us some left over Charmin toilet paper she had at her place. I haven't decided on the real meaning of that. Was it a hint or did she really not need it? It is a commodity that will eventually be used, so really how much is "too much of it" at your house? At any rate, it was free, and I like free, so I said thank you. I used it this morning. My tushi never had it so nice. I was thinking that perhaps it only mattered to adults, but Annsley, my 5 year old, remarked this morning, "Momma, why is the toilet paper so soft?" I still will not break down and buy Charmin, but from now on my tushi will lament when I walk down the toilet paper aisle and think of "what could have been" all these years.

Yeah, I know...give the girl a keyboard and access to cyberspace and she thinks she can write about anything!