Now or Later

Finally!! We received our updated home study this morning, and it's in the mail now to USCIS. Hopefully we have fulfilled all their requirements and will receive our I-171 soon.

We're just in waiting mode right now to hear from our adoption agency about a referral. Patience is a virtue they say! Maybe, but I'm not feeling very virtuous I suppose. This adoption "ride" is so very different than planning for a biological baby. When you're carrying a child, there are all sorts of reminders that you're pregnant, and you have a count down of when to expect the child's appearance. You see your doctor every month or week, get measured and weighed, buy bigger clothes--all reminders that you're getting closer. With adoption, it's like you do all this stuff at the beginning and then stay in a perpetual holding pattern. I've actually found myself going days on end not even thinking about the fact we're adopting from Russia. All you know is it's one day closer to getting "the call", but really, is it one day or 3 months or 5 months down the road? Do I go ahead and repaint Kennedi's room now, or wait so she won't have to live in Chocolate Fawn for months on end and listening to her tell me she doesn't like the color of her wall (which she will) if "the call" is going to be much later? Do I buy that travel adapter now or wait until "the call" because if I buy it now, and I have to wait several more months the chance of me being able to locate it in my house will be slim. See my perplexity? The planner in me has a skitzo fit every once in while thinking about it all.

Realistic Expectations Guide

I received this information from a yahoo adoption group and thought I'd pass it along.

In response to the Hansen case, EMK Press and a number of other adoption professionals put together a 50 page guide for new adoptive parents. It's called Realistic Expectations and can be downloaded at EMK's website by following this link:

http://www.emkpress.com/realisticexpectations.html

Sorry you'll have to copy and paste...can't get the link button to work.

This guide has lots of great information for those waiting to adopt, those who have just brought their child home as well as friends and family members of the adoptive child.

Luv'n 2 girls and a little boy!

Our tax return is back to us, copied, and ready for the dossier. So much for getting it to the accountant in February...

I think one of my favorite things in the world is listening to my two girls playing together (when they are not fighting of course!). This morning they were playing "ballet." Annsley was showing Kennedi all the ballet positions and saying "Good Job!" to her little sister. They played for literally 2 hours with this ballet thing--all stemming from a book Annsley has been reading about the dance. Anytime they play together, Annsley is the teacher or leader or rather BOSS, and Kennedi is whatever her big sister wants her to be, a poor little puppy grateful for the crumbs!

I've often read where some parents have concerns about being able to love an adoptive child as much as their biological children. Quite frankly, that has never entered my mind, mainly in part to Kennedi. Before I had two children, I would hear other parents say that they love all their children but they love them in different ways. In my "infinite wisdom" I would scoff at that notion thinking how unfair that really was, and thinking they must mean they love one child more than another--they are just not saying it. Well, now I know better. Annsley was my "book baby"--she did everything the baby books said she'd do, and she responded in the same ways the baby books said she would if I did this or that, etc. She is a child of order and rules--surprise will NOT rock in her world. I celebrate her independence and yet cringe at her matter of fact tell you like it is personality. We'll be working on people skills. I really think that if she were left by herself for the weekend, at 5 years old, she could manage the house--she probably could have at 3. Those of you who know her know that I speak truth! Kennedi, on the other hand, is her opposite. PARTY is her middle name. Should the rules change in mid stream, so much the better--surprise is good for the soul! Any time there is music playing with a strong beat, she's dancing. She colors on the walls and often drains me of energy before noon. Leave her in charge of your house if you want it burned down. But I love her spirit and her resilience to any negative and her natural ability to hug and give sloppy kisses, even after she's been disciplined. I love both of my girls, yet I love them in different ways. Because of the knowledge that this is possible, I know that I will love this little boy from a far off country who was birthed by someone else--I have no doubts or reservations.

Although I know Annsley and Kennedi don't truly understand what this adoption has in store for them, they have been going through their toys and books and marking things that they can give to their Baby Brother. They have done this for a month now, and completely on their own I might add. He will have quite a stash of chewed on board books passed down personally from Kennedi, and Annsley has any number of baby toys that haven't gotten put away that she has earmarked for him. Any time Kennedi comes across a "prospect", she asks, "Can I gi this to Baby Buther?" I love that God is preparing their hearts as well to welcome this new addition to our home!

Swedish Russian?

I'm back from the internet dead! Long story, but we exceeded our threshold with our satelite internet provider and we have been punished by reducing our speed. We were just holding our head above dial up as it was, and with this restriction, I just haven't been able to muster the patience to hardly get on the computer. Another internet provider just finished putting up a new tower in our area, and a much frustrated Doug contacted them. We are up and running with them and I've been in a kid candy store since last night. For a year now I've had time to shave my legs and make some coffee while just waiting for my email to load, so to have pages instantly load is a huge slice of heaven. Thank you Clear and your 4G network!

Russia and the US have come to an agreement and are just ironing out the legal wording and so forth. The agreement is supposed to be signed in Washington sometime this summer. Adoptions are continuing Russia although some regions have slowed down or are waiting until the agreement is signed to proceed. I have heard of several families getting invited to Krasnoyarsk just this month, so it seems to be proceeding. We're just waiting...waiting...

I still need to get our realtor to do her thing on our house, and we need to still find an accountant to do his thing. We haven't actively pursued either of those in the last two months, but my goal is to get them completed by June 1. We'll see.

My Russian is slow and painful, but I'm ready for CD #3 with Pimsleur. I am actually able to understand what they are saying on the tape, so I'm making progress. I am concerned though in the fact that my Russian seems to be taking on a Swedish accent. I'm rather disappointed in myself with this regard as it's obvious I've picked something up unconsciously from Doug. Whenever he's talking to someone who doesn't know English very well, he just talks louder and gives his English pronunciations a Spanish accent. It's quite comical. Now I'm doing it. My apologies go to Sweden.

I've heard from several people who speak Russian that it is actually a fairly easy language to learn, but I care to differ. I've finally figured out why I'm having trouble though. The Russian language has sounds we don't make in English, and trying to get my Texas twang tongue to form them is like sticking my hand in a meat grinder. I will warn you, if you see me practicing out loud, get away as I spit and salivate trying to get my lips and tongue to form these sounds. Example: z-drahs-tvoy-tyeh That is "hello". You tell me an English word that you use on any regular basis that has a "t" followed by a "v" and neither are silent. I didn't think so...

More USCIS Fun!

I got a letter yesterday from the USCIS requesting additional documents in order to process our I600A. One is a notarized statement from Doug about a 25 year old "indiscretion". The other involves our home study report. They want it to read "...recommends and approves us to adopt..." I read our report. It says, "...recommends that USCIS approve us to adopt." I don't know; it sounds like the same thing to me, but apparently not. I attempted to call, but our receipt is still invalid (see February 3 entry), so I emailed the Dallas office yesterday afternoon (which in itself required a small miracle to find the email address which is deeply hidden on their website) asking for clarification and really in the hopes that whomever would be checking on this would raise her own eyebrow and reply back, "Obviously someone working in this department is a nincompoop, and we won't waste anymore of your valuable time and money on this problem. Thank you for contacting the USCIS." Alas, the reply I received this morning confirmed what the snail mail letter said, so I contacted Jenna, our social worker. She said this was the 3rd one she has had to reword from the Dallas office, so it's obviously a new worker who is requesting it. Joy!

If there is some good news to report, after 3 attempts the USCIS has finally gotten our names correctly spelled. Let's just give a little shout out to this government run agency, shall we?

New Unofficial Law

There has been a "rumor" running around the Krasnoyarsk yahoo group that Krasnoyarsk is taking advantage of the adoption chaos right now and no longer allowing single parent adoptions as well as putting in new age restrictions on adoptive parents. It was reported that the new age restrictions are under 40 to get a child under 2 years of age, 41-44 to be referred a child 2-3 years, and 45+ to be referred at child 4 years. Clearly, we don't qualify for the under 2 children and that's contrary to what our home study states as well. I contacted our agency, and it was confirmed that the "rumor" is really a new unofficial law, but it only affects new families who haven't submitted their dossiers, so we are "safe!" This is apparently for Krasnoyarsk region only, but others may follow suit. That will be a source of frustration, I'm sure, for a lot of "older" parents wanting to adopt an infant. Because of our age and the age of the child we want, a lot of countries were "out of the running" so to speak. The fact that Russia welcomed older parents was a big factor in us choosing that country. Hopefully, these tight age restrictions will be limited to this region only, or better yet, the region will think twice an lift the new age limits. Younger doesn't mean better--more energy maybe, but not better and certainly not wiser! OK, I'll admit it: My kids have eaten high fructose corn syrup, and we probably have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches more than we should, and yes, I have been also known on occasion to feed my girls Chef Boyardee, but in my last 10 years I have also learned that broccoli doesn't have to be drowned in cheese sauce to be edible and fresh asparagus isn't even a close cousin to the stuff from a can, and all that translates to my girls growing up eating a plethora of vegetables instead of just canned green beans and corn. (How's that for a plug for us "mature" moms and dads?)

Apparently Parliament struck down a motion to end Russian adoptions for Americans last week since the US is obviously open to sign some sort of agreement. Yeah! Adoptions are still progressing, and I am so praying that those of you waiting to hear back for a court date will get one soon!

Europe Section???

OK, so I live in this "small" West Texas town--small by Austin or St. Louis standards--large by Waka or Spearman standards--and our paper has sections such as Lifestyles, Business, Classifieds (which gets its own section only on Sunday), Sports, and Entertainment. Our "World" section covers usually half a page on page 2.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/06/world/europe/06adopt.html
Here is an article from the New York Times about the status of Russian adoptions. For those of you who have better things to do than read it, it basically says that the head guy at MOE has never received word to suspend adoptions and that authority can only come from Medeved or Parliment and neither has addressed that. YEAH! He also makes an interesting statement at the end of the article (you'll have to read it to find out what that is!) For those of you who pull up the article, you will notice that this is found in the Europe section. Europe section??? Carrying that thought, that means there must be an Asian section, a South American section, and a Middle East section among others! That is so "foreign" to me! (I'm riding high today. I created a pun without even trying! Whoo Hoo! Of course, the other part of me is rolling her eyes and saying, "What a Dweeb!")

It's just a bit out of my realm of comprehension--kinda like thinking there are other galaxies out there. My eyes glaze over when Doug starts in on that. I'll be the first to admit, science--physics--etc. isn't my thing. I'm an "arts" kinda girl. Just tell me the button to push to make it work and we'll call it good, I say. My physics teacher in high school had us memorize how a refrigerator works. Something about condensation and currents--don't really remember the details, can you tell? All I know is if my refrigerator quits working, I call Doug, my very own quite handy handyman. If he can't fix it (which is rare), he pretends he can, and then he calls someone who really can. Excuse the digression.

When we were interviewing adoption agencies, one told us we would need to be able to tell the judge where the closest Russian Orthodox church was to us if the question came up. Well, that would be Oklahoma City--4 hours away at the St. Benedict Russian Orthodox Church. Yeah, we live in the Boonies. (I know, I know... by some people's standards, we are in a thriving metropolis!) I can't even get half the stuff Rachel Ray cooks with at my grocery store even though she says I can, so please bare with me as I grapple with the knowledge that some of you live in a place with enough demand to have a section of your paper devoted to only one part of the world.