Non-Adoptive Musings

I really like the part of the country I live in...it's very conservative, people will still stop and help a girl change her tire, we wave to cars we meet, and when we have a pretty day in the spring, it can't be beat. Those days, unfortunately, are rare for us in the Texas Panhandle. Today the wind is gusting close to 50 mph--and unfortunately, that is NOT rare for us in the spring. (sigh) Some people say our seasons go from winter to dirt to summer. I would have to agree with that. I get a kick out of people like Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel when he's covering a hurricane. Here he is standing at the sea wall, gripping his microphone like nobody's tomorrow, and saying,"Man, the wind is really starting to pick up here. I am having a hard time standing in this wind. We're now clocking sustained winds of close to 30 mph. If you're out and about, please watch out for flying debris." This 200lb guy is leaning into the wind for all its worth and can hardly keep his feet together. All I can say is he wouldn't last 10 minutes out here. If I stayed inside when the wind was blowing, I would never get anything done. When Annsley was a baby, we'd take a stroller walk as long as the wind was not over 25 mph--that was my limit on getting a infant out in the "elements." Waiting for a calm day during our springs would equate to waiting for Oprah to acknowledge my blog.

There is a difference in toilet paper. I think in the back of my mind I always knew that, but the realization was brought to my attention today. I'm cheap--frugal??--so I don't buy Charmin. I'm not so cheap that I buy Timber Cutter Toilet Paper either--you know, the kind you have to judo-chop to get it off the roll--but I had always thought the brand I did buy was soft. Not so. My mother brought us some left over Charmin toilet paper she had at her place. I haven't decided on the real meaning of that. Was it a hint or did she really not need it? It is a commodity that will eventually be used, so really how much is "too much of it" at your house? At any rate, it was free, and I like free, so I said thank you. I used it this morning. My tushi never had it so nice. I was thinking that perhaps it only mattered to adults, but Annsley, my 5 year old, remarked this morning, "Momma, why is the toilet paper so soft?" I still will not break down and buy Charmin, but from now on my tushi will lament when I walk down the toilet paper aisle and think of "what could have been" all these years.

Yeah, I know...give the girl a keyboard and access to cyberspace and she thinks she can write about anything!

Throwback to Lee Majors

We've crossed our first snag in quest of Dossier #2. Our accountant informed us he can't help us with our adoption. He says he doesn't peer review??? He says that it would require him to have a special license, have a firm come in an audit his work, etc. He's just a tax shop; he doesn't sign off on financial statements and such. I really don't understand it all, but I'm not in the accounting world, so maybe there is such a thing. He's a nice guy, we've used him for nearly 15 years, and I'm sure he would help out if he could. So, Doug has a new assignment since he finished his first two in stellar time (his employment letter and obligation of insurance letter). He is now tracking down a CPA who doesn't do our taxes who will sign off on our financial statements. Thankfully, he personally knows several, so surely his diligence will pay off. Scratch that---his diligence WILL pay off. Oh, the power of your words!

Our realtor is going to attempt to come "inspect" our house tomorrow, so she can sign off on her documents for us. Once we get the CPA and realtor documents, we're finished with what we can do on the dossier for right now. The other documents will have to be worked on when we receive our referral as they will expire in 3 months, and they have to be good on our court date.

And now for some super good news...We have a biometrics fingerprint appointment in Lubbock! (Yes, we have to drive 2 hours--I was expecting that, so that's OK. Doug still can't figure out why the sheriff's office here can't do them.) The word biometrics makes me think of "The Six Million Dollar Man" and the "Bionic Woman"--I'm not sure why. (Am I showing my age??) I'm half expecting Dr. Rudy Wells to be ready to inundate me with some top secret never before revealed technology. "Biometrics" sounds so official--definitely a government word. The efficiency of our federal government continues to amaze me. My letter arrived Saturday with my scheduled appointment--April 13 at 11:00AM. Doug's arrived today, same appointment time. Same address, same appointment time, two letters. Thankfully our scheduled date is not during TAKS test week, or we'd have to reschedule. The sooner we can get this taken care of, the sooner we can receive our I-171H approval form--we won't be bringing anyone home without that piece of paper! And remember the little thing about my name missing from an earlier post? I now have my last name added, but it's misspelled. And now Doug's last name is misspelled too. Lovely.

You snooze, You lose!

I've been busy working on our main dossier papers this week. I've sent the forms to our realtor and accountant...contacted or visited various county clerk's offices in Texas--with 2 children in tow who were absolutely fascinated by all the computers in one room--and of course, we had to sit down in front of one and there was only one chair--for me--and they of course were rather put out about that and let me and the nice lady helping me know their feelings about the red carpet not being rolled out for "little ol' me"-- requested forms online, called wrong departments, referred to wrong departments, given Doug his instructions on securing his documents needed from his employer (I need a special sticker on my chart for that and he probably needs a special sticker on his chart too when it gets done correctly), and paid money to any number of people.It also seems nothing is free anymore...everyone wants $5 or so dollars for their John Hancock and a few dollars for each page of copies. I'm in the wrong business. And in case you were wondering...the English teacher in me is having a coronary reading that run-on, fragmented, "It'd be a cold day somewhere South if I ever let my students write something like that" kind of sentence up there--but hey, it's a Thursday! It seems I recall proofreading and rewrites are banned on Thursday somewhere in the world--at least that's what one student had once tried to tell me. At the time I didn't believe him, but I can see where he's coming from now, and just perhaps, there is a place like that.

Annsley created a picture yesterday on her own. The house is where her baby brother is living right now in Russia. You will notice that there is a picture of her daddy, her mother, herself, and her new brother but no Kennedi. I asked her where Kennedi was. In true to form 5 year old logic, she replied, "Kennedi is in the house. She didn't want to wake up from her nap!"



By the way, we've been registered in Krasnoyarsk! Now the waiting begins...6-9 months from this point to receive our referral, but as our agency pointed out, they like to estimate on the long side. This region moves quickly for our agency, so it shouldn't be that long. Please continue to be in prayer for our little boy and the orphanage he is in.

And last but not least on my priorities, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOUG! He's the big 4-5. (Better him than me.) To go along with his new number, he has dropped 42 pounds since January. I'm happy for him...really I am...really...

Funerals, Itches, and Cheesecake

Time is so precious. I particulary ache for those of you who have already met your children and are waiting for court dates. I know you are missing precious moments with your new son or daughter. I pray that you will recieve notice sooner than anticipated.

My Nani passed away this week. I'm not sure why I am having a hard time dealing with it. I celebrate the fact that she no longer has to endure that tired, sick body that satan attacked and that she finally got to meet her Savior face to face. She was ready--I was not. Annsley is having a difficult time as well...those two were pretty tight! You get a slap in the face when you have to deal with death and young children as to what it is you really believe. Annsley was asking all kinds of questions...how did she get to heaven? what is she wearing? can she see me? how can she see me? how is she able to run? where is her body? why doesn't she need it? and on and on it went for days. It's made me realize I need to do a Biblical study on the whole "sleeping" thing and exactly where does the spirit go and when, and everything else you've ever heard about death. Several years ago, I read the book 90 Minutes in Heaven. That's a "now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout" book! An amazing read--23 Minutes in Hell is too--in the opposite direction. I can assure you that you won't get that book out of your mind. You always think you'll have time to really study it and then YAMMO! life happens and your young, impressionable daughter starts her inquisition. Quite frankly, I don't know how people handle death who don't know the love of Jesus and have Him as their personal Lord and Savior or don't know that their loved ones do. Death would be so final otherwise. I know that God is faithful and we will join Nani again one of these days, but it sure is hard thinking that I won't have her around being my biggest cheerleader. (Come on Revelation 21!) She was so happy that Doug and I were adopting a boy from Russia. We are so sad that this little boy, who would have been one of the delights of her life, will not have the privilege of meeting this precious woman. I sang to her during her last few hours, and I have to laugh now thinking she had to endure my sinfully terrible off pitch acapella which was made worse by squeaking sobs. I'm sure she had finally had enough of listening to me--30 minutes seeming like days to her--and just needed some relief! I kept singing this song over and over. I just wanted to remind her that God loved her so much. If you haven't heard it, I encourage you to listen here: "When the Night is Falling" by Dennis Jernigan. It is the ultimate love song from God to you.

Her funeral was yesterday and my youngest daughter provided the comic relief. She caused enough distractions that I was able to hold it together. I missed this particular incident, but plenty of people told me about it afterwards. My grandmother had a graveside service, and apparently during one of the songs, Kennedi sits down on gravestone in front of everyone, and peels a piece of bark from one of the nearby cedar trees. She then turns her back to everyone, hikes her dress up over her tights and uses the bark to scratch under her arm. At the time I couldn't figure out why in the world my mother and half the people there were laughing.

So, I haven't done a darn thing toward the adoption since my last post nearly two weeks ago. I shall get started again Monday, but I did make progress with my acquisition of the Russian language with all my time sitting at Hospice. I can say "excuse me", "Do you understand English?" Flash cards will be a must I can already tell you. Just repeating what the guy on the CD was saying wasn't computing. I had to write everything phonetically on a piece of paper. (Remember I have a deficiency in auditory learning.) The language is so fast; everything runs together. The Pimsleur guy says at the end of the CD that if you have mastered 80% you can go on to the next. I'm still on my first CD for the 5th time, but I think I'm about to graduate. If I weren't on this diet, I'd go celebrate this victory with some Mexican food and cheesecake and Ranger cookies. If I were a drinking woman, I'd have a margarita--maybe 2 or 3-- before beginning CD #2.

In Quest of Dossier #2

After a brief breather, it's now time to get to work on the main dossier. The main dossier has nothing to do with us getting a referral. It has everything to do with our court date--our court date will not be scheduled until Russia receives this paperwork. Dossier #2 will be submitted after we accept our referral from our first trip. Here is my to do list:

• Obligation letters
• Color copies of passports
• Photo listing of home
• Marriage certificate
• Physician's reports for the girls
• Copy of physician's medical license
• State Police checks
• Employment letter
• CPA Financial Statement
• Medical Insurance letter
• Copy of warranty deed
• CPA letter of financial statement
• Copy of CPA's license
• Copy of USCIS approval--the coveted I-171H
• Realtor Proof of Home Ownership
• Copy of Realtor's license
• Copy of tax return
• Psychiatrist Reports on Doug and me
• Copy of psychiatrist license

These are the items I have to gather. As you will note, most of the items will require that I muster all my people skills, brush up on How to Win Friends and Influence People, and recite to myself in the mirror daily, "People love to help me. Only the "nice" people approach me at desks and answer the telephone. They are friendly and knowledgeable. They all recognize the time constraint I am under and more than willing to comply with my requests quickly and competently. I will only witness the intelligence of Bugs Bunny, the creativity of Wylie Coyote, the aptitude of the little green Martian, and the speed of Speedy Gonzales as I deal with these select individuals." (I miss Looney Tunes, don't you?)

There are about 10 additional items our home study agency will have to send to me and a few items our adoption agency has to provide. Again, all these things have to be notarized and apostilled. Doug and I also have to have an 8 Doctor Medical Exam completed in Russia--yikes! The above list is for Krasnoyarsk. If by a slim chance our referral comes from Pskov or Leningrad, there is a different list for those regions.

Many of the items have to be on office letterhead--not mine of course although that would be SO MUCH EASIER!! A lot of the above items I can take care of now--hopefully this week. Some of them I will need to wait until we get our referral because they have to be dated within 3 months of our court date. That would include the trip to the psychiatrist and the girls' medicals. The state police checks are good for 6 months before court. Everything else is good for a year. I also have to remember to get two copies of everything. Krasnoyarsk requires two main dossiers to be submitted. I have already forgotten that little tidbit and will have to call the county clerk's office again to get another copy of our marriage certificate. I may need to write a giant "2" by the phone, computer, my steering wheel, and anywhere else I may be doing adoption work to remind me.

Let the chopping down of the trees begin as I embark on this leg of the paperwork journey!

Russia or Bust!

Our mini dossier is on its way to Russia today! Once there it will be reviewed by our agency's in country staff, translated and notarized. It will then be submitted to MOE and finally registered in Krasnoyarsk. This is so surreal right now. I hear the music from the Twilight Zone in my head...dee dee dee dee...dee dee dee dee...

We've made the decision to learn a little Russian. We will have translators with us for any adoption business, but they can't be with us 24/7--I suppose they actually could-- if our pocketbooks were big enough. I have ordered two different language CDs. I just couldn't fork over the $300 in good conscience for the Rosetta Stone series. Instead, I opted for the Pimsleur Russian CD for the bottom basement price of $9.95 and free shipping. I know you may be thinking, "That girl screams cheap!" but I prefer to look at it as a deligent shopper who will suck $100 worth of material out of my $9 find. According to the website, it's what the FBI and CIA use to train their agents. That initially concerned me a bit...our governement dishes out 10 bucks and sends men and women into potentially hostile environments and expect them to "blend in" with knowledge on Russian from 8 easy learning CD discs? Needing to bring closure to this idea that the CIA would be so cheap (unlike me :)), I found out yesterday that there are lots more Pimsleur language CDs out there--for hundreds and hundreds of dollars--and not that I know this personally, but I have to think in my mind that our government agencies dish out the big bucks for those CDs for their agents. Pimsleur is a language acquistion technique--not necessarily a brand of CDs, which is what I originally thought. (Did anyone reading this really need to know that information??)

I listened to a little bit of it yesterday. I learned "excuse me" and the Russian word for English. I've already forgotten what I learned. I am not auditory at all. I have to read it or write it. So, with that in mind, I also ordered a language set made by a Russian adoptive mom, Teresa Kelleher. It is made specifically for adoptions, has flash cards, a book, etc. This is more my way of learning although this CD set might get me a hot dog when I want the chicken since it deals primarily with language needed at the orphanages, court, etc. We shall see. I know I will be wanting to be able to read a bit of Russian so we can find our way around--I'd hate to stay in Russia all that time and have to stay on the hotel's block because if you make 4 right turns you will be right back where you started. I'm sure some Russian teenager would love to be able to go home at night and tell his father the funny story of how he "messed" with two Americans and sent them to Gorky Park instead of TGI Friday's for dinner. I need to avoid that scenario at all costs. My husband needs to avoid that scenario...he's wigged out enough about just going to a foreign country.

Now We're Cooking with Crisco!

Our Mini Dossier is notarized and now in the hands of Fred Smith's 1970s brain child! Whoo Hoo! Our home study copies arrived Saturday, and I spent Sunday afternoon completing the last remaining blanks on our regional apps and such.

Doug and I, with two children in tow, met Stephanie this morning to notarize all of our documents. She thought Doug was kidding when he told he he had a gazillion papers for her to notarize. Some 45 minutes later we were finally leaving her office. Thank you so much, Stephanie! I'm sure this is the case with all international adoptions, but definitely with Russian adoptions in the fact that you can't just find any notary. If your notary's commission expires before your adoption is finalized, then you get to redo all those documents again. Our agency recommended we use a notary that had at least a year left on her commission. All of the secretaries at Doug's campus had their commissions expire later this fall, so we couldn't use them. That would have been very convenient for us; however, Stephanie works at the administration building, and we are so grateful she agreed to do it. Of course, when Doug and I began signing the mammoth stack of papers, she probably wished she had waffled.

So, now these documents are on their way to Austin to get apostilled. (The notary of the notary.) We are using a courier service in Austin--thank you for the tip, Wendi! We are mailing our mini to them, and they will walk our documents into the Secretary of State's office for apostilling. If we mailed them to the SOS, the turn around is approximately 10 days--not including shipping time. By walking them in, we will get them apostilled immediately. This courier service will only cost around $25--give or take a few dollars depending on how long the guy has to wait. I will gladly pay that to speed up the process by two weeks! With our handy dandy Fed Ex account, we will have the courier ship them directly to Wyoming for us. If Kristi receives them by Thursday morning, our dossier will be on its way to Russia this week! (Any one notice the faith I am putting into a complete stranger? The control freak in me is having a spasm. Breathe Shelly!)

I have found another perk to living in Texas. For adoptions the SOS charges only $10 per apostille, and it caps out at $100. Seeing that I am sending 37 notarized documents for apostilling--and this is only for the mini dossier I may remind you--I toast the good man or woman who put that into the policy rule book--had to have been an adoptive parent! I've heard from other families in other states having to pay anywhere from $20 to $50 per apostille. Do the math on that one!

So, now we need to celebrate. Phase 1 is complete. (If you say that with a deep voice, it sounds like Spock telling William Shatner the plan to destroy the Klingons was successful or something.) I'll wait until Kristi sends our mini to Russia before I tackle the documents needed for the main dossier. That gives me a few days to sit back, sip some tea, reach for the phone book and get National Home Health Care's number on speed dial. I think I may be needing a standing order of oxygen tanks at my door.