Funerals, Itches, and Cheesecake

Time is so precious. I particulary ache for those of you who have already met your children and are waiting for court dates. I know you are missing precious moments with your new son or daughter. I pray that you will recieve notice sooner than anticipated.

My Nani passed away this week. I'm not sure why I am having a hard time dealing with it. I celebrate the fact that she no longer has to endure that tired, sick body that satan attacked and that she finally got to meet her Savior face to face. She was ready--I was not. Annsley is having a difficult time as well...those two were pretty tight! You get a slap in the face when you have to deal with death and young children as to what it is you really believe. Annsley was asking all kinds of questions...how did she get to heaven? what is she wearing? can she see me? how can she see me? how is she able to run? where is her body? why doesn't she need it? and on and on it went for days. It's made me realize I need to do a Biblical study on the whole "sleeping" thing and exactly where does the spirit go and when, and everything else you've ever heard about death. Several years ago, I read the book 90 Minutes in Heaven. That's a "now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout" book! An amazing read--23 Minutes in Hell is too--in the opposite direction. I can assure you that you won't get that book out of your mind. You always think you'll have time to really study it and then YAMMO! life happens and your young, impressionable daughter starts her inquisition. Quite frankly, I don't know how people handle death who don't know the love of Jesus and have Him as their personal Lord and Savior or don't know that their loved ones do. Death would be so final otherwise. I know that God is faithful and we will join Nani again one of these days, but it sure is hard thinking that I won't have her around being my biggest cheerleader. (Come on Revelation 21!) She was so happy that Doug and I were adopting a boy from Russia. We are so sad that this little boy, who would have been one of the delights of her life, will not have the privilege of meeting this precious woman. I sang to her during her last few hours, and I have to laugh now thinking she had to endure my sinfully terrible off pitch acapella which was made worse by squeaking sobs. I'm sure she had finally had enough of listening to me--30 minutes seeming like days to her--and just needed some relief! I kept singing this song over and over. I just wanted to remind her that God loved her so much. If you haven't heard it, I encourage you to listen here: "When the Night is Falling" by Dennis Jernigan. It is the ultimate love song from God to you.

Her funeral was yesterday and my youngest daughter provided the comic relief. She caused enough distractions that I was able to hold it together. I missed this particular incident, but plenty of people told me about it afterwards. My grandmother had a graveside service, and apparently during one of the songs, Kennedi sits down on gravestone in front of everyone, and peels a piece of bark from one of the nearby cedar trees. She then turns her back to everyone, hikes her dress up over her tights and uses the bark to scratch under her arm. At the time I couldn't figure out why in the world my mother and half the people there were laughing.

So, I haven't done a darn thing toward the adoption since my last post nearly two weeks ago. I shall get started again Monday, but I did make progress with my acquisition of the Russian language with all my time sitting at Hospice. I can say "excuse me", "Do you understand English?" Flash cards will be a must I can already tell you. Just repeating what the guy on the CD was saying wasn't computing. I had to write everything phonetically on a piece of paper. (Remember I have a deficiency in auditory learning.) The language is so fast; everything runs together. The Pimsleur guy says at the end of the CD that if you have mastered 80% you can go on to the next. I'm still on my first CD for the 5th time, but I think I'm about to graduate. If I weren't on this diet, I'd go celebrate this victory with some Mexican food and cheesecake and Ranger cookies. If I were a drinking woman, I'd have a margarita--maybe 2 or 3-- before beginning CD #2.