Christmas, Scrooge, and the Big Tree

This post has absolutely nothing adoption related, but you'll either have to bear with me as I don't have a family blog or go ahead and back right on out of here and check back later...

My house smells so good (and no, it's not from my Merry Maids cleaning ability--trust me.) Our Christmas tree is up--a Balsam Fir--and it smells like Christmas! I had forgotten how much I love the smell of a real Christmas tree. The last big tree I put up was when Annsley was 6 months old; the following year I bought a 3 foot table topper instead. Doug calls me the Christmas Scrooge, but here's what I know. My little melancholy self couldn't handle keeping a toddler out of the tree all day long. My sister suggested that I decorate just the top half, but really, what's the point in that? It's gotta be somewhat aesthetically pleasing, and a semi bald tree doesn't quite cut the mustard. I'm not going to haul out all those ornaments and lights and spend my time and still end up with a butt ugly tree. So, I've been enjoying the little table topper tree for 4 years while Doug and Annsley have been pining for the real thing. My mother is totally aghast that I would succumb my children to such. I've reminded her and Doug that I let Annsley and Kennedi pick out the star and tiny ornaments that went on it. (That didn't get me in my mother's good graces either--only the roll of her eyes.) Kennedi hasn't really known the difference, and quite frankly, she is the reason why we didn't get the "big" one last year. (Those of you who know my daughter can understand!) Before Thanksgiving Annsley begged to have a real tree, "Not one that goes on top of the TV, Mom." She also requested one that would touch the ceiling. OK, so now I feel guilty about having deprived my children, so I agree to the "big" tree this year. On the way to the tree lot yesterday, I'm asking Doug if we need to get a tree bag to dispose of it, and Annsley starts crying. Poor thing doesn't realize that this tree isn't going up into the attic like the little table topper fella that she's known. (I know, this story gets more pathetic...) Guilt ridden Mommy picks out the type of tree (Balsam Fir--it's gotta smell good!) but against my better judgement, I let her and her daddy pick out which one. (Kennedi is just happy to be there.) Together they decide on the tallest one they can find that falls within our tree budget. It's a skinny tree but stands a proud 6 1/2 feet tall!

Today was spent decorating it. My decorations are dated to say the least. It is a reminder of the 14 years of a childless marriage in which I had time to sit in the living room floor and create bow after bow after bow. Nobody bothered me and when I didn't get finished I could leave my stuff out and it would be there tomorrow. (Even Doug didn't dare touch my sacred crafts!) Anyway, our tree screams "90s" and very adult like. I will have to invest in "fun" ornaments for next year's tree. Perhaps I'll venture out to the after Christmas sales this year.

Annsley was a great help in decorating today, and Kennedi reminded me of why I hadn't done this for the last 4 years. She got sent to her room three times before the tree got finished. (Yes, I know you grandmas are thinking that is a most unfair punishment on such a big day, but (a) she tried to plug in the lights and messing with the electric outlets is a big no no in our house (b) the play-dough gingerbread man ornament she made last year at an arts class now qualifies for a government subsidy as she ate one of its feet (c) she tried to perfect the art of the "jump, stretch, and hang your glass ornament without pulling the tree down" technique.)

We will have stockings up as well for the first time. (Again, see the above paragraph of why we haven't hung those things out before now.) I discovered today that Kennedi doesn't have a stocking of her own. Doug and I have the ones that we've had for umpteen years, Annsley was given a beautiful one when she was a baby, and our 19 year old cat has his. Poor Kennedi was asking where hers was. I didn't realize that she didn't have one, or I would not have opened that box. Annsley, digging the knife in a bit deeper, was saying, "Look how much sparkle mine has on it. Isn't it bea-u-ti-ful Daddy?" Big ole crocodile tears welled up in Kennedi's eyes, and I briefly considered taking down my mother of the year plaque off the wall. I told her that I would go out and get hers this afternoon. I vow to not ever go out shopping the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I sacrificed for my daughter. I even got shiny glitter and jewels to put on it. And, just to show Doug that I am NOT Scrooge, I bought a tiny stocking for our other cat. I even put a glitter glue "M" on it for Mickey. Yes, I think I should get a gold sticker for holiday cheer this year....

Golden Ring of Russia

Continuing Russian ed continues...

The Golden Ring of Russia refers to a ring of cities northeast of Moscow. These are all ancient towns that played a significant role in the formation of the Russian Orthodox Church and have preserved some of the most important events in Russian history from 12th- 17th centuries. The towns are all very picturesque and many feature the famous onion dome with their architecture. Those who have visited the ring often comment about how it seems as if time has stood still. The towns are quite close together, and contain lots and lots of monasteries and churches. There is some variance as to the exact cities in the Golden Ring, but most will agree on the larger towns.

Some of the more prominent cities are as follows:

Suzdal: this is the most famous town. It has over 200 ancient monuments in only a 3.5 square mile area!! The town has a present day population of only 12,000 people.

Sergiev: This town is basically known as the capital of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Yaroslavl: This town houses the Drama Theatre, Russia's first national theater.

Rostov: This town's nickname is Miracle on Earth. It is one of the oldest cities in Russia. Its claim to fame is the Kremlin, a fortress with thick white walls, silver topped towers, and cathedrals.

On a side note, it looks like the weather is cooling off in Krasnoyarsk. Brrrrr!

Need a vacation?

Holiday Russian 101...

January 1: New Year's Day. This is the biggest holiday in Russia. It would be comparable to the size and scope of Christmas in the US. It is celebrated a lot like of people celebrate Christmas in the West. The children look for Grandfather Frost and his granddaughter Snow Maiden to arrive and leave presents under the tree. Grownups traditionally stay up all night long. At midnight, every one listens to the Kremlin bells either by TV or actually standing in Red Square.

January 7: Christmas. This is celebrated 2 weeks later than we do in the West because the Russian Orthodox Church recognizes the Julian Calendar. On this holiday they sing carols, play games, enjoy sweets. It was banned in 1925 with the atheist government but was reinstituted in 1992. It has yet to gain its popularity it had before 1925. Many people don't celebrate it at all. The Russians enjoy an official vacation from December 31 to January 8 or so every year. (Sounds like a teacher!:))

February 23: Protector of the Motherland. This is celebrated like our Memorial and Veteran's Day.

Spring: Easter. (Date celebrated changes with the calendar.) This one is much bigger than Christmas in Russia. Traditionally they hide eggs and exchange gifts.

April 12: Cosmonaut Day. This celebrates the sending of humans into space. Russians visit the grave of Yuri Gargain (1st man in space) and visit other landmarks related to space travel.

May 9: Victory Day. This is celebrated by lots of parades to commemorate Russia's victory over Germany in WWII.

June 12: Russia Day. This would be similar to our 4th of July.

November 4: Day of National Unity. This is a relative new holiday that resembles an original holiday celebrated for centuries before Bolsheviks came into power. It now replaces the November 7 holiday called Revolution Day which celebrated the Bolsheviks October Revolution.

This is some, but not all of Russia's official holidays.

On a side note, our girls were at the pediatrician's office yesterday for their well check-ups. Their doctor said she was so excited for us to get our little guy home. Then she said, "This has been a very long pregnancy--I think you're overdue!" I noticed the ticker on the blog...we're working on 11 months now. That is amazing!!

Paperwork Housecleaning

We finally have our realtor's declaration page for our dossier!! Thank you Winona! Now the only item left is our girls' medicals, and those will have to wait until after our first trip as they expire in 3 months. Speaking of expiring...our home study is set to expire the middle of February, so I've contacted our social worker about what all will be required for that. Four documents for our dossier expire in March, but our case worker said not to work on them until a month before they expire. Everything else is good to go until summer, I think. As I'm typing this I thinking I need to double check on our state clearance expirations. (For those of you new to international adoption, most documents expire 1 year from the date--or earlier if the notary's seal expires before then- -and the documents must be "good" on your court date or they are invalid.) So, expiring documents are equated with "ka-ching"--cost of updates, mailing, document fees, not to mention my time, etc. (But who knows, by God's grace we will have our little boy home before that matters anyway!) I'm just looking ahead as I would kick myself in the behind if a court date was postponed because of expired documents...where's that "I'm Proactive!" t-shirt?? Jeesh, that sounds like a commercial for pharmaceutical meds.

Here's what I've learned in my virgin international adoption run (take it for what it's worth)...aside from the home study (which had to be done first), I should not have been so gung ho on getting our documents for the main dossier finished as quickly as I could. I should have waited until at least our dossier was registered in our region...should of, could of, wish I would of...,but I just knew we would be traveling in the summer! Ha! Ha! Now we're looking at a Siberian winter! (By the way, have you noticed that it really hasn't been that cold in Krasnoyarsk? Are they having a heat wave this winter in anticipation of our arrival? Say it is so!)

Wacky Weather

Uhmmm, how do I say this kindly....THE WEATHERMAN MISSED IT! We had the potential for a "few showers and a light dusting of snow". Doug took the girls to a play-off football game last night and so I took the opportunity to go to Wal-Mart and push the cart in silence. Not 10 minutes later I heard torrential downpour on Wal-Mart's roof. I was soaked, literally, by the time I got my car loaded. I called Doug on the way home and asked him where he was. Surely he wasn't still at the game with my children! Of course they were. I asked if it was raining. He said, "Hey, we're boy scouts. Don't worry about it. Go home and go to bed." And I heard in the background, "We love you Mom and giggles!" and then he hung up on me. My husband tends to do that when he doesn't want to hear the wisdom of his wife. (He needs to brush up on the boy scout manual as everybody showed up dripping wet despite a field trip to Big Lots for umbrellas before the game...)

All night long we had downpour with thunder and lightening . I mean serious thunder that rocked the house. All night long. Lightening that lit up the entire house. All night long. The kind of storm we have in spring and early summer--not November. And when I finally got out of bed at 5:30 we had snow on the ground. Not a light dusting. It seems that we have had nearly 6 inches. It is still coming down. Big, huge flakes.

I say all this because quite frankly I was starting to get a bit concerned that I was going to have a hard time getting acclimated to Siberia in the winter. We've had nearly 80 degree temps, and it's the middle of November. Finally some cold weather so I can start to grow some fur...

Where's the Prozac when you need it?!!!

"Write the vision and make it plain on tablets that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time. but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it...;" Habakkuk 2: 2-3

I had envisioned writing a different post last week than the one I'm about to write. I knew from all the people who have gone before us that international adoption would not be for the feint at heart. (And maybe domestic isn't either--I just have zero experience in that). I think in the back of my mind a little part of me was saying, "Yeah, but that's not going to be our story. We're going to have smooth sailing all the way through--it will be amazing." Foolishly I forgot to remember that satan tries to do everything he can to derail us and wipe out the blessings that are ours to be had--and he will if we let him. I love 1 John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world"--so I know we are over comers--no matter what mud and stones satan throws in our faces.

So the mud we got slung at us this month was with our first official referral from MOE. Last week we got the picture and medical abstract on a beautiful baby boy. We contacted two different adoption doctors, Dr. Davies and Dr. Skurkovich, whom I would highly recommend. Both suggested getting some additional medical information based on what seemed some contradictory findings in the medical report, but neither were terribly concerned as the odds were 95% in our favor as long as this little piece of confusion could be cleared up. We are so thankful that we got the information the IA doctors requested before we traveled because in between the time the medical abstract was written up and our visit with the IA doctors, additional tests had been performed on the little boy, and we got that information forwarded to us this week. Needless to say we did not feel like we could accept this referral. I think the fact that we have 2 girls already at our house and having to think about their well being and our responsibility to them as well must be included in our decision. I have often thought that if we had no children in our home that we might have looked differently at our decision.

I realized that my decision not to install the Prozac dispenser in the kitchen might have been a bit on the hasty side when on Monday we got the additional medical info. The tests our IA doctors had recommended had already been done in Russia without us asking and they were not good; I knew that even before I forwarded the info to the IA doctors. We were given some additional information on the birth mother and I just broke down crying in anger, disbelief, and sadness. I just wanted to get on a plane and sweep him out of there. In all reality, God was with us through out this. (1) We had chosen two IA doctors who asked for specific follow up questions (2) We did get the information before we spent thousands of dollars flying over there. Those of you who travel blind--I truly stand in awe! (3) Our agency was very proactive in getting us the requested information.

I heard God tell me early one morning this week while I was praying, "Either you believe My word, or you don't." It's as black and white as that. I was quickly reminded of Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." When Doug and I started this process, we confessed several things over our adoption. Doug reminded me of that, and this huge burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. And then yesterday morning, even before we got the 100% certain news, Habakkuk 2: 2-3 was brought to my attention. Yesterday afternoon however, my heart was heavy with sadness as I said goodbye to this beautiful baby boy. I felt like I had attended a funeral before it was all said and done. I notified the IA doctors of our decision, took down his picture that I had been looking at daily for the last 9 days, and filled out some necessary paperwork. I know there is a family out there who is not only equipped to handle his health issues but willingly welcomes them, and I pray it will be a realization for him soon. I know he could use your prayers as well. (By the way, I told our case worker that this process could be made a bit easier if we didn't get the photo until afterwards...)

So where does that leave us? First, with faith we know that God is orchestrating the events and timing for the boy who will become a member of our family. Second, this was an official referral from MOE, so we have to have a refusal letter notarized and apostilled and sent to Russia before we can receive another child. That will be put in the mail to Austin today. The regional operator for our region is on vacation until the last week of November, so we won't be expecting anything until December. What that means for you is you'll have to endure some more Russian 101 to fill the time.

On a positive note, I have a beautiful niece who was born Monday! (Not to imply that my riveting dissertations on Russian culture and history are not the greatest things since sliced bread...)

Will You Answer the Cry?

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