Oh Where Oh Where Has Our Home Study Gone?

Ok, we're STILL waiting for our hard copies of our home study! I contacted Jenna this afternoon to find out where they are. Haven't heard back yet. I have the FedEx account set up and nothing to mail. FedEx offers something like 16% off their express mail fees if you use their online services to process the shipment. When you've got a $40,000 bill looming ahead of you, every little bit helps I say! The US Postal Service express service is the cheapest way to go, but the reliability factor has me rather hesitant. Of course, to date the USPS has never lost anything I have mailed, but I suppose the fact that they can't guarantee that it will be there by 10:00 AM tells me that they don't really know where it is to begin with. I'm only in the first stage here, but after all my time and effort, I need to know that I know that my little paper baby will be taken care of.

So what's the reason behind my impatience? Besides the fact that (a) I will be having my 42nd birthday this summer (b) I don't want a humongous age difference between Kennedi and her little brother (c) something psychological in my being lets my control freak operate at top capacity when I am actually doing something--somehow walking to the mailbox doesn't constitute doing something and (d) the adoption tax credit goes back down after this year. (See below for further explanation.)

While we all wait, here's round two of Russian adoption vocabulary:

MOE--Ministry of Education. This is the Russian department who is in charge of adoptions.

PAP--pre-adoptive parent (That would be us!). When we "graduate", we become known as APs (Adoptive parent--I suppose it's a right of passage in a way!)

Gotcha Day--The day adoptive parents receive custody of their child.

Lifebook--an adopted child's life record told through the child's eyes. I'm not exactly sure how it's all suppose to come together, but it seems to be VERY IMPORTANT from everything I've read about adoptive children.

Dossier--(pronounced dos-ee-ay) our paperwork that goes to Russia to be translated

Adoption Tax Credit--this is set to expire the end of 2010 and will revert back to the old amount some 10 years ago if Congress does not vote to renew it. Contact your congress man and woman! There are so many kids who need families and this encourages parents to step out and adopt. Currently, families can qualify for a $12000 tax credit on their income taxes. I have no idea how it actually works, but I'm told it's better than a deduction. We'll see... After this year it goes back down to the Pre-Bush amount of something like $5000. Your adoption must be completed by the end of this year to receive the credit.

Ahhh, a blog that is both entertaining AND educational!

The Black List Panic of 2010

Our home study has been approved! We are still in this perpetual holding pattern until we get the copies in our hot little hands, but at least they are somewhere on their way! I was hoping to get them today or Monday, but it may be the middle of next week. Jenna caught a mistake with the agency name on one of the forms our adoption agency sent her, so she had to request a new one. Our social worker has her own home study agency, but the home study report actually goes through a child placing agency in Texas, and their name will be on our home study. That little unknown fact caused a minor atrial fibulation last week when I found that out.

Russia puts out a "black list" of agencies every 3 months or so...the list is supposed to be updated every 3 months, but the last one took 9 months to be updated. If your home study agency is on the black list, your adoption process stops until the home study agency is removed from the list. If you're in the middle of your adoption you can either wait it out or find another home study agency and redo it. All that costs precious time and money. How do you get put on the "black list?" Mainly it is for not turning in post placement reports on time to Russia. From what I understand though, it is not a very fair system, as the home study agency (unless they are also the adoption agency) does not send the post placements to Russia. They submit them to the adoption agency who then forwards them to Russia. So in actuality there could be several causes as to why post placement reports are not turned in on time...the parents not taking the responsibility to initiate the reports, the home study agency not getting them to the adoption agency on time, or the adoption agency not submitting them to Russia in a timely manner. The home study agency gets the brunt of the repercussions though. It is such a big deal that a lot of adoption agencies make you pay a $2000 deposit that is refunded back to you when you have submitted all four post placement reports on time.

While I was searching for a home study agency, the new black list had come out in November. Kristi, the Russian program director, strongly encouraged us to be careful of anyone who had been on the black list and was now off, so I only considered agencies who were not on the new one or the old one. Jenna's company was not on the list, hence the reason we hired her, but this child placement agency that Jenna works with was on the old list. I couldn't find the new updated black list right away, and my Dry Idea was not living up to its name. I finally found a Russian adoption website that had the new list, and thankfully this agency had been taken off. Jenna later told me the reason they had been on the list to begin with was because an adoption agency wasn't meeting the requirements. I'm sure I was told about all of this and probably didn't translate the real meaning as I was pretty focused on whether to use my new handy dandy Eureka steam mop or good ole Pine Sol to clean my floors for the home visit (Should I use chemical free mopping to show my concern as a parent for the environment, or should I use a chemical with strong fumes so she'd know that Merry Maids had nothing over me?--it was potentially a life altering decision--or so I thought at the time).

So, the Russian Black List Panic of 2010 turned out not to be the epidemic I had feared last Thursday afternoon. I have faith that this agency will stay off the list.

Still waiting patiently at the mail box.....really, not so much any more.

Life in a Russian Orphanage

Life in a Russian orphanage leaves little to be desired. By no means am I advocating that a foster child in the US is the best thing since The Osbornes got off TV--they did get their reality show cancelled didn't they? please say yes...; however, in comparison with what I know about the Russian system, it is far superior. It simply makes my heart ache to know that Russia makes it so difficult for foreign families to adopt their children. (And in no way am I saying that it is much better in other countries because I know that they have their own hardships as well.)

All children must be on the Russian database for 8 months before the child is released for inter country adoption. So no matter how old the child is when he enters the orphanage, he must wait 8 months before a foreigner may adopt him.

Orphanage workers are over worked and under paid. Only a few years ago they were paid around $20 a month. Basically these workers dedicate their life to charity. Hopefully that has gone up considerably. There are approximately 100 children in every orphanage. There is approximately 1 nurse to every 10 babies; some the ratio is 1:15! The children are kept in Baby Houses until they are 3 or so, and then they are moved to the Children's Houses. A child who is not adopted by 16 is basically put on the streets to survive any way he can.

From what I've read, the orphanage care has improved dramatically over the last 10 years due largely in part to donations made by adoptive families. I think instead of the stark white institutional settings you used to find, many of the orphanages now have colorful playrooms and more stimulation. Many agencies require a donation be paid as part of the adoption expenses incurred by families. I've seen it anywhere from $500 to several thousands during our interview process. Others request that you bring items to donate to your child's orphanage on one of your trips. All of this is desperately needed I can assure you.

We've been told to expect a developmental delay of one month for every 3 months a child has been in the orphanage. Reasons for these delays include a range of things from lack of sensory stimulation, lack of personal care (I've read that the Baby Houses are fairly quiet as the babies learn that crying doesn't get them picked up), nutritional factors (babies are more or less fed with whatever is available at the orphanage and not according to their diet as we would here), or lack of fresh air (babies are kept indoors for 9 or so months a year). We've been told by our social worker that Russian babies are not ever put in a bath tub--they are only given sponge baths--so be mindful that we aren't going to be able to drop him in the bubble bath and expect him to be blissfully open to that suggestion.

On a positive note, most of these will children catch up to their US peers once they are in a loving family environment. Others take a little more time depending on their experience in Russia--either from their home life or orphanage life or a combination of both. Please join us in prayer as we pray for the orphanage director and the nurses who are caring for our precious little boy. We ask that our little boy be surrounded by those who truly have a vested interest in him, who love him, and who advocate for him. We pray blessings on those workers as they fulfill James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble..."

Tick, tock, tick, tock...

Still patiently waiting...We actually got our rough draft of the home study last Thursday. Other than a few corrections to our doctors' names, it looks good to me, but our opinion doesn't really count here. It reads like a giant bio of our lives, and I guess it needs to be worded a certain way for the USCIS and Russia to approve of it. Our adoption agency is reviewing it; hopefully we'll know something soon. I feel like a sprinter in the starting blocks...ears straining to pick up the slightest squeeze of the gun's trigger and every muscle tense--and yet you are saying to yourself, relax those finger tips...breathe...breathe... You are ready for the big show all dressed up in those shiny, new, silky what-were-they-thinking-when-they-made-those-underwear-looking-shorts but can't go anywhere until you hear the "pop" from the smoking gun! At least our gun has made its way out of its holster--I'll count my blessings for that.

On another note, it looks like Krasnoyarsk is having a heat wave! Whoo Hoo!

Which way did the bunny go?

OK, so I read yesterday's post and realized it was a real downer. Lo siento! [I am sorry--at least I think--it's been muchos anos since I've brought out the Latino language in me. Maybe I should be watching more of Dora the Explorer to renew my verbage!] I was probably just frustrated waiting on this home study. We are really at a stopping point until we receive it. I have all the applications, questionnaires, and obligation letters ready to go except for filling in the date for the home study approval. When we get that, we can get everything notarized and sent off to Austin to get apostilled. Then everything goes to Russia to get translated, and we get registered in Krasnoyarsk. I suppose I could be working on the things for our main dossier, but for whatever reason, I'm waiting until I get this first batch off to Austin before tackling that mountain of paperwork.

With my very limited knowledge of the Russian adoption process of course, I've come to the realization that there will be several milestones as we go. (In no particular order...)

• Getting approved with our home study
• Mini Dossier off to Russia
• Receiving our referral (child)
• Main Dossier off to Russia
• Court Date
• Receive I-171H from USCIS

I believe it's time to put a disclaimer in my writing. I am an English teacher by profession. (Maybe I shouldn't have said that as now you'll really be scrutinizing my writing!) I am off duty while typing on this blog. I've been reading some of my past posts, and I am appalled at the serious faux pas in syntax, usage and punctuation--not to mention all of the internal fragments! I always told my students, "Don't hand me junk that you slap down on paper and turn in!" If any of those students were to read this blog, I can see those 8th graders now putting their hands on their hips and letting out an "Uhhh!" You know the pose I'm talking about! Girls do it so much better than boys, but it has been known to take over the male temperament on occasion. That whole stance is really 6 steps completed so quickly after one another that to the untrained eye you think that it was all simultaneous. I know, I've watched my 3 year old do it already. Step 1, The draw of breath; Step 2, One heel swinging towards the other foot; Step 3, The opposite hip thrusting outward and slightly forward; Step 4, The hands grabbing both hips with thumbs around the back; Step 5, The furrowing of the brow in unison with the upward draw of one half of the mouth; Step 6, The exhale of a rather high pitched, "Uhhh!" This is an innate response children are born with I'm sure. I also believe that it is suppose to disappear as one matures into a productive young adult much like the tonic neck reflex (the fencing position) disappears in young infants. In fact, I'm sure of all these things because I know that Kennedi doesn't model her behavior after my own--I'm just positive about that! And yes, I know I just followed a little bunny trail...

On a positive note, our home study may not be ready, but I have everything ready to be mailed to our accountant. This in itself is a small miracle. I was checking the mailbox every day last week looking for those last 1099s and such to arrive. I've talked to more people than I care to admit, "Have you sent out your ....?" Usually I could care less. The later I file, the better. This may cause our accountant to have heart palpitations--hope he's been exercising. Adoption has spurred me onward!

Economic/History Lesson 101

We've been patiently waiting for our rough draft of our home study... patiently waiting...patiently waiting... Jenna, our social worker, had told us she usually tries to get out the rough draft within 2 weeks of of home visit. It has been 3 weeks. I think the hold up may be with our background checks. We sent the information she requested the first week of January, but she had not received it at the time of our home visit, so she wasn't able to get that in the works until we gave it to her again when she was up here. Waiting oh so patiently...(if it's in print that's how I feel, right?!)

The plight of the Russian orphan is almost unbelievable to me. Russia is not a 3rd world country, but the care of the children read something like a 1900 horror novel. Abortion is the birth control of choice in Russia. Birth control is available, but expensive. Abortions are free; in fact, Russia's abortion rate is 70% higher than the US. (Can you imagine what our abortion rates would sky rocket to if it becomes part of the nationalized health care???) Unfortunately, human life and family is not a high priority in Russia. For those who do carry their pregnancy to full term, many then have to give up their child because there is not enough food to care for him. From what I've been told, that is the majority reason why children are in the orphanages. I can only imagine the emotions of having to give up your child because you cannot care adequately for him and hoping and praying that he will be adopted into a loving and caring family. It so reminds me of the stories of the Jewish families who would beg German families to take their children so that they would not have to endure a concentration camp--what an ultimate sacrifice.

Because of Russia's low birth rate, they are facing a population crisis. Putin decided in 2006 to give incentives to women to have another child--$9200 (that would be equal to about $36000 in the US). That didn't do a lot, so in 2007 or so, he started giving incentives to families who would adopt. This money could only be used for education or housing. I read in a recent article written by a journalist in Russia, that the already over run orphanages were experiencing a new problem because a large number of Russian families would come in and adopt, and after they got their bigger house/apartment or find out that they do not qualify for a bigger house, and end up returning the child back to the orphanage! The child was just a pawn! Does that just do something to your insides like it does me?

There are approximately 750,000 orphans in Russia. Because of the strict laws and paperwork Russia has enacted in the last few years, financial incentives for Russian families, and an increase in nationalism in Russia, fewer and fewer intercountry adoptions are happening.
The US accounts for about 40% of the intercountry adoptions and Europe about 60%, but even those statistics leave an unbelievable amount of children in the orphanages. You can tell from the graph the number of plummeting adoptions from Russia.

Please join us in prayer as we ask God to bless the birth mother of our little boy. We probably will not be able to find out the circumstances of why her child is in the orphanage, but she did choose life when the alternative would have so much easier. For that alone, we are grateful and desire a 100 fold blessing on her life.

Giddy up pony!

All those nice things I said about the government in a earlier post I take back. In the middle of the night I remembered noticing when we received our receipt for filing our I-600A application that we had forgotten to use "Douglas" on the application. My name on the receipt says only my maiden name and not my married name. Since we've been told how picky Russia is on our names and our agency recommended using exactly what is on our passports, I decided this morning I'd better try to fix it. Silly me for thinking I'd talk to a real person today. I call the customer service number for the USCIS. There are something like 14 different options to choose from--no kidding. They even have an option if you need a doctor to do your physical exam--I guess you need that to get citizenship or green card or something? Option 2 fit my need the best, but I listened to them all just to be sure I had the right department, so I was listening to Monotone Hank for a LONG time. I really hate those prerecorded voice messages because if you get down to it, NONE of the options fit what you are looking for. I press "2" and the automated voice asks me for my receipt number. I punch the numbers. It says I didn't enter enough numbers. Well, the first three numbers are actually letters. How in the world do you get an "S" to be pressed? So, I just do it the old fashioned way and use number 7 for the "S" etc. It tells me my receipt number is invalid. I try again, still invalid. There is no "Press O for an operator" option! A third try results in Monotone Hank hanging up on me because the system obviously cannot cope with my level of apparent incompetence. So I try to accomplish my task from the USCIS website. Again, I enter my receipt number and again it tells me it is invalid. Now, I decide I should register for updates, and perhaps once I do that, there will be a link that I can use. I register, and it tells me I have no applications on file!!!! So I turn to the old fashioned way of pony express. I have my nice little letter typed explaining the changes I need to make and will enclose a copy of our passports. Of course, on the back of my receipt, it says that if we have questions, we should contact USCIS. However, in italics is says, "We recommend you call." HELLO!!! Obviously the government doesn't have very much faith in its own self run postal entity. We shall see...

By the way, did you notice the weather sticky for Krasnoyarsk? That gives a whole new meaning to an Arctic air mass!