Journey to our Russian Blessing

2 Words!

2012-02-08T15:36:00.000-06:00

EXCEL SPREADSHEET! If anyone still reads this blog at all and you have just begun your adoption journey, do yourself a big favor and put all your expenses onto a spreadsheet as you're going along. I've been going through ours (which has been stuffed in a FED EX tyvek envelope) to tally everything for our IRS tax return. Trust Momma Shelly on this one! I have spent this afternoon in adoption receipt hell.

Oh, and highly intelligent people will label all those Russian receipts while in-country. I can't tell what is a souvenir and what is cereal. Should the IRS need to see our actual documents, they'll just have to trust me or find Vladimir to translate.

Baby House #1

2012-02-01T09:36:00.004-06:00

Last week a member of the Kras Yahoo group sent out a request of any who had adopted out of baby house #3. He was trying to find others who had adopted about the same time and hopefully within their son's orphanage group. There are approximately 100-150 children in each baby house, but they are grouped together in groups of 15 or so, and they stay within that group their entire tenure there. Andrei was from the apple group--not their son's group. We exchanged a few pictures, and I noticed that our children were not from the same orphanage either despite thinking we both were from baby house #3. We had actually stopped at this orphanage to do paperwork, but then we traveled on to Andrei's orphanage.

So, we started investigating. How could we both have #3? There was another mom who had answered the request, and her daughter was from Andrei's orphanage AND was in his groupa! Even though she brought home her sweet daughter 6 months after we did, she and Andrei would have been in the room together at some point. So, I think that is pretty awesome that we can show him pictures later of one of his "groupies."

The dad sent me a link with all the Krasnoyarsk orphanages listed on it. There were two #3 Baby Houses listed there. One was the orphanage where we had all been in to do paperwork (the actually orphanage was housed on the 2nd floor of that particular building), and another was listed there with the title Special Baby House #3 for Children with Mental Defectives. That title just saddened me so much. I don't know if I had ever mentioned this, but an American couple whom we met at the orphanage had told us that this orphanage we were adopting out of was half special needs and half non-special needs. I assumed, using that information, that this had to be Andrei's orphanage.

I decided to try out Google Earth and see if I could tell if this really was Andrei's orphanage. I pulled up the address and I couldn't recognize a thing. Then, this other mother emailed me saying she thought our children's orphanage was Baby House #1 as she had the actual address of the home. I remembered Lena, our translator, reading the emblem at the orphanage and telling us it was baby house #1, but there was a #3 at the bottom of the emblem, and I had just always assumed she had misspoken. So, back to Google Earth in search of Baby House #1. And what do you know! That one IS Andrei's orphanage! Here's a snapshot of it:

I even recognized the pharmacy where our coordinator would stop for those simply smashing little blue booties we had to wear. If you click on the picture, it will enlarge it. You can vaguely see the wall around the orphanage property. We entered from the street, would drive through the gate, drive around the east side of the orphanage, and park on the west. You won't find a parking lot for the workers to park in. They didn't have cars. Most of them walked or took the bus.

(We're still trying to clear up the confusion of #3 being on the emblems. Jenn has an email to our translator to see if we can get an explanation.)

The emblem causing all the trouble!

And WHO Are YOU??

2011-12-15T12:00:00.006-06:00

One year ago today, we met Andrei for the first time. I'm having a hard time realizing that it was a year ago. It seems like just last month! Doug has been acutely aware of the "anniversary." It's been like a countdown all week every time he looks at the calendar. "Can you believe we were on our way to the airport this day??" "Can you believe we were in Russia....?" and so forth. He came home last night and said, "I heard that song." [What follows is our captivating conversation.]

Me: "What song?"
Doug: (in a tone that says I should know what he's talking about.) "That song."
Me: (This is getting nowhere.) "Song about what???"
Doug: "That song that I always think about Andrei when I hear it. You know...the one from Russia."
Me: (Still needing a bit more information to get myself up to speed...) "The maddening disco tech beat? The Veggie Tale song? Celebrate Me Home?" (I'm trying to list as many songs that we heard while in Russia as I can.)
Doug: "Yes."
Me: (It's clear that he has NO earthly idea what the song is called--but I'm supposed to know.) Then he says:
Doug: "Today we saw Andrei for the first time didn't we?"
Me: (Ah-ha! Now I know!) "Celebrate Me Home."

I then remembered I had made a little video when we had returned home from our first trip. We watched it almost nightly until trip 2. I found it on the computer last night and watched it for the first time in a long time. Much like that day in the orphanage, Doug started crying. Then he started laughing. "Now that we know him, I can see what he's thinking. Like in that one..."Lady, get your hands off of me!!"

So, here's that little video. It was made about midnight shortly after returning from our first trip. So coupled with our jet lag and my first attempt at using the movie maker on our computer, you'll have to excuse the fine cinematography skills. He was only 10 months old here!

Friends of Russian Orphans

2011-12-08T13:15:00.001-06:00

I had meant to write about this months ago, but it didn't happen. Kinda like a lot of things around here these days! Anyway, we have our kids tithe any money they recieve. Annsley had racked up quite a bit from all her teeth falling out--we don't do the tooth fairy around here but Daddy supplies money and candy for teeth. (It's actually quite comical. He has her list on paper what she wants in exchange for her tooth. She write things like 5 quarters, 10 dimes, 11 pennies, sour gummy worms... Her chivalrous father has on more than one occasion made a 10:00PM run to the convenience store to get the "goods.")

She wanted to give her money to an orphanage in Russia. I asked her if she wanted to give it to an organization that helped families to adopt, but she was adamant about sending it directly to help orphans--actually Andrei's orphanage. I was rather leery about sending $$ directly to any Russian agency even if I could find the actual mailing address, but after searching a bit, I found this awesome organization whose donations go directly to the Russian orphans in a particular region. Although it wasn't Andrei's region, Annsley agreed. I had her write a letter explaining why she was wanting to donate her own money. Lisa, the president of FORO, wrote her a personal letter in return. I was amazed and honored that she would take the time to respond to my 7 year old daughter. Check it out when you have a moment!
Friends of Russian Orphans

Another Celebrated Dancing Bear

2011-10-17T14:11:00.000-05:00

I'm just popping in here from our family blog to make mention of a wonderful children's book I found this week at our library. Since a lot of the moms who read this blog are/have adopted from Russia, I thought this was appropriate. I've been on the search for children's books about Russia to include in our children's library without all of them being adoption related. I figure the pounding in of "you are adopted" books can get quite old. I've been on the lookout for books that we can add that have elements of the Russian culture in them. I found this one by accident and thought I'd share in case any of you are searching as well. If you have found others, please leave a comment!

Moving On...

2011-08-31T20:00:00.007-05:00

I write this last full blown entry with bittersweetness. I began this blog as a way to document our adoption journey for us, our extended family, and strangers as well. I have tried my best to be transparent with the adoption highs, lows, feelings of inadequacies, frustrations, and needing my wonderful God more than ever up front and center in my life. I have made many blogger friends, and I have so much enjoyed sharing in your journeys. But, it is time to move on for several reasons. One is to alleviate this self imposed pressure to get something up on this adoption blog at least weekly. Don't ask me where that perceived pressure comes from, but for whatever reason, it is there. Maybe it's because the adoption itself is over, and I'm having a hard time coming up with related things....Next, three children are making me reprioritize my day, and well, the thought right now of regularly blogging is making me tired! Third, I do have three children, and one of these days Annsley and Kennedi are going to notice that they have not had near as much "screen time" as their little brother. Fourth, I have lots of other things to write about besides just the next milestone Andrei makes. I have a ridiculously funny husband who makes me laugh and two beautiful daughters whom I need to introduce "out there". Our adoption journey is over and it is time to concentrate on becoming a family of 5, so it is a great time to transition to a family blog.

My original thoughts were to have two blogs--but who am I kidding??? I've been trying to blog on both for a while now, and I'm failing miserably. So, my plans are to update Andrei's pictures on this blog from time to time, and if anything really pertinent to adoption comes to the forefront, I'll post about that here. Other than that you can find me at Planted By the River. Feel free to visit although I'm not quite sure how exciting watching Annsley navigate our driveway's ditch using skiis and poles (IE: scrap wood and shovels) would be to those of you or reading tales about Kennedi's two imaginary friends, but we welcome you just the same. I will certainly be continuing to follow my blogger friends' continued journeys and watching your children grow. For those not venturing over to the family blog, I want to thank you all who commented and sent such support and encouragement throughout our entire adoption journey. You were/have been such a blessing to me!

Andrei's new best friend--Dog! (Not a fancy name, but it works!)

"Taggy!" The "Don't Leave Your Crib Without It" severe attachment object.

Until next time! Dasvidaniya!

Did I Ever Tell You How Much I LOVE Water???

2011-08-22T19:51:00.000-05:00

We have a horse tank in the back yard that the girls go swimming in during the summer. We recently drained it to clean it and started filling it back up. I looked into the back yard, and Doug had put Andrei in to play. The boy loves, loves, loves water. He starts giggling and running to the sound of water--any water--bathtub, water hose, toilets...

He'd marry the garden hose. Yes, we let him drink out of it, too. He's survived so far...No comments about the dangers of injesting rubber and plastics please...

Showing his momma his "treasure!"

Annsley decides to join in on his fun.

He's not having such a good time any more.

Pay back!

This would be his 10 minute fit after his daddy removed him from the water.

18 months old!

2011-08-16T13:48:00.002-05:00

Andrei will be turning 18 months old in 3 days! That.is.amazing!! He has become decidedly attached to his taggy blanket that up until now, we've been keeping it in his crib. Tears are now ensuing when we pick him up from the crib and leave the taggy. He's adopted a stuffed animal as well. Today he threw full blown temper tantrum in his high chair. He refused to eat his carrots today--not unusual as he usually refuses carrots. I handed him a fork, and you would have thought I gave the child the keys to the cotton candy factory. I helped him stab them on his fork, and he ate every single carrot! Yeah--we were needing some Vitamin A I'm sure. Meal was done. I took off his bib and removed the tray. And let the screaming begin. He wanted that fork. He wanted it now. I've never witnessed such an attachment to an utensil in such a short amount of time. It was truly amazing. No, I didn't give him the fork back. I refuse to reward a temper tantrum. Off to nap he went. He's now sleeping it off so to speak.

He is big into copy cat these days as well--particularly his closest in age sibling. That has some unfortunate consequences for him. One of the things that he has watched Kennedi do is use a step stool. He will now go get a basket or even one of his trucks and put it by the couch and use it to give himself a "lift." Yikes! Baby proofing now will need to be moved up about a foot or more. He's learned to open Annsley and Kennedi's bedroom door yesterday, (it has the lever door knob), so we bought a handle lock today at Babies R Us. We'll let his daddy install that thing tonight. You forget, and I mean really forget, just how busy and into everything a toddler is. I forgot. Shame on me!

We also had our 6 month post placement visit a few weeks ago. To think that we've been home with Andrei for nearly 6 months is crazy!

Bringing to Remembrance

2011-08-07T18:20:00.001-05:00

Sometime Moms (and maybe Dads--I can't say that for certain as I've never been one, but...) have moments of self doubt with regard to their children. The doubts escalate when you've had an extremely trying day with your child or children. I had them when Annsley was a baby--when the realization was that I'd never be able to sleep in on a Saturday again for a very, very long time. When Kennedi was born and I lay down on Annsley's bedroom floor and begged Annsley (who had just turned two), "Please let Mommy sleep for 10 minutes" as she crawled over my sleep deprived body. And now Andrei--when he screams to announce his displeasure at something at decibels that should shatter Waterford crystal or when Kennedi is still trying to find her new role in the sibling rivalry (from the baby of the house to the middle child.)

Every time in my life, God has brought remembrance to me. It has been no different with Andrei. I had a particularly long day last week with the three of them. I was tired, mentally drained, and the thought shot through my brain, "Did I really hear from God about adopting? Was a totally crazy at my age to take on a one year old? Did I have a serious lapse in memory about diaper duty? What was I thinking???" I think I really underestimated the change in dynamics of adding three to your nest. And then God prompted me to all the things He had confirmed in my life about this adoption.

First were all the overwhelming emotions from the past 6 years every time I witnessed a story about international adoption. The last time it happened, I just relented and said, "I'll obey."

Second was the scripture from Psalm 68 I read while in Krasnoyarsk, days before we were to pick up Andrei. It talked about being called to be a father to the fatherless--setting the solitary into families. Yeah! That one will get you!!

Third was all the people we met on the planes on our 2nd trip who were involved in adoption. On the very first leg, we sat in front of a college girl who was escorting a 7 year old boy to his new adoptive parents in Houston. On the flight from Houston to Germany, we sat behind a couple from Oregon who were on their first trip to Ethiopia to meet the little boy they were adopting. Now on the trip from Germany to Moscow, there were about 10 people on the plane and we didn't sit by anyone, but who knows??? Of course, on the return flight to the US I couldn't have cared less about meeting anyone even remotely interested in adoption as Andrei screamed most of those 18 hours. On the flight from Houston to home, we again sat across the aisle from a man who he and his wife were starting the process of adopting from Uganda. You can't make that stuff up. You can't call that coincidence.

I just want to say that to those of you who may be wondering if the adoption call is really on your life--stop--listen--if it is you will hear the whisper of God on it.

Amazing Changes

2011-08-04T15:50:00.000-05:00

Andrei's vocabulary is really taking off. He is adding several new words a week now--even some two syllable! No one really understands him but us, but he's talking never the less. His latest word is "fi" for high five. When he wants to find something, like his shoes, he says, "Is izzz it." We seem to think that our little 17 month old prodigy is saying, "Where is it?"

When he wants something you have, he opens and closes his fingers, motioning you to bring it to him. If you're eating something he's not, he says, "Bi" for bite.

The most amazing thing that has changed about him is his head shape and his feet. When we brought him home, he had a severely flattened head--so severe his ears did not line up with each other. His head is rounding out, his ears are nearly in line with each other, and he just has one part of his head we're waiting to "pop" out. His feet are starting to self correct the severe "duck feet" he had going on. The last week or so, I've actually seen him stand with both feet pointing perfectly straight. His right foot was nearly pointing out at a 90 degree angle to the outside when he started walking, and the improvement it has made is awesome!

He is filling out--he's in all 18 month clothing. He literally woke up one day this summer and I couldn't get the 12 month shorts over his hips. He is following single commands, ie: Let's go change your diaper (and he heads off to his room). Let's go eat (and he heads off for his high chair or comes to the baby gate.) He's growing up! I can't believe he's about to be 18 months old!

One Cool Dude!

2011-07-26T13:00:00.001-05:00

I know, I know...he suffers from being one "super cool dude" due to his choice of hats...so sad...

Again, proud of OU...

Loves, loves, loves his big sister's chair--especially now that he can climb in all by himself!

New game of tackling his sisters. They are not the least impressed.

Makin' his daddy proud! Got his cell phone and "man" purse!

Hats and phones! His two fetishes!

Andrei's Homecoming

2011-07-20T14:51:00.001-05:00

Here are some pictures of Andrei's airport homecoming back in March. We were so blessed with awesome family and friends to welcome us all home! There's nothing like showing up to a crowd of people wearing dirty underwear and a toothbrush not crossing you teeth in over 24 hours. It's something everyone needs to experience!

Before the "big reveal"...

Here he is! Yes, that's me in the back ground in tears while hugging my girls. I was so glad to be home!

A little overwhelmed!

So excited to finally meet their baby brother who they had been praying for nightly for nearly a year!

More Adoption Resource Helps

2011-07-16T13:45:00.006-05:00

(1)I found another PAD (post adoption depression) resource for those who need it. EMK Press has put out a 50 something page free booklet with a wealth of adoption information. It was put out in response to the Hansen incident over a year ago. It is filled with articles ranging from sleep issues to eating issues to power struggles to sensory issues--all written by IA Doctors, social workers, or therapists.The PAD article is the 6th one down. It is all well worth reading.

Realistic Expectations adoption booklet

(2) And here's another new article on PAD from the same web site. This is one of the most indepth articles I've found to date on this topic. There are a TON of resources at the end of the article. I so wish I had had this at my disposal 4 months ago!

Disposable Camera Woes

2011-07-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

On our first trip, we left a disposable camera with the orphanage. I was fully expecting to have 27 pictures taken during the weeks we were gone. I did not leave instructions on how to operate the camera. I had read so many accounts of where everybody knew how to run the camera that it was not needed. (**Sigh**) Instructions in Russian ARE needed. I got two. Only two. When they gave us the camera back on trip #2, I noticed the camera had not been advanced after the last picture. Then I looked at the pictures remaining, and saw 25. I was really disappointed and frustrated with my decision. I had so much to do before we left, that I didn't put "disposable camera instructions" on my list. We didn't get them developed until this last week after Annsley used up the rest of the exposures. But, we do have two. Better than nothing. He's sitting in some kind of reclining chair strapped in with one of his "buddies" sitting next to him in a similar chair. Really, a sad telling of the life of existence for those children in the orphanages. Always strapped in, always in some type of tight quarters of containment.

So, my advice to those of you out there planning to leave a camera: leave it with instructions!

Getting verbal

2011-07-03T15:54:00.000-05:00

(Oooooo...this new blogger posting is awesome!)

I am amazed at Andrei's vocabulary lately. I think he is going to be as verbal (but definitely LOUDER than) as his big sister Annsley. Although his mommy and daddy can only understand most of his words, here's the short run down right now:

uh-oh (pronounced ahhh-ahhhh)
thank you (pronounced da-noo)
snack (pronounced ack)
duck (pronounced duh)
hat (pronounced hat!) He puts his hand on his head any time he sees a hat--any time. He's obsessed with them.
milk (pronounced mmmm)

He is really getting into his foods. He must be going through a growth spurt because his pickiness has waned lately. New favs? Watermelon and macaroni and cheese! All we hear through lunch and dinner is "ummmm" every time he takes a bite! He very rarely drops food off the high chair. I guess I trained him rather well during my "funk" and not having much patience with him. When his little hand starts to hold food he doesn't want to eat off the side of his highchair, I just say, "Andrei, food stays on your tray." He looks at me and puts it down. I can't tell you how nice it is not to have to mop the floor after every meal like I did with Annsley and Kennedi. In fact, with Annsley, she was a food thrower. When she was finished, if I didn't get to the high chair on time, she was slinging whatever was left on the tray. I got so tired of scraping green beans and spaghetti off my blinds that I put up plastic drop cloths over the windows and walls of our dining room. It was a nice decorator's touch. I was really thinking that I had started something, but alas, it didn't catch on with the fashionistas of the world.

Happy 4th of July to everyone out there. We, of course, are fireworkless (yes, new word there) due to our incredible drought, but to those of you with rain....light a sparkler for me!

PAD resource

2011-06-28T14:49:00.003-05:00

I have found a wonderful resource that I didn't know was available until last week.

Yahoo Post Adoption Depression Group

I've only been a member for a few days, but there are a wealth of reading materials on their web page as well as those who have navigated these waters or are in the middle of them. It is truly the most information I have found on this topic to date. I just wanted to share for those who are currently going through this and need some others to talk with.

"Sisters--I've Had It! If I only weighed 20 more pounds...."

2011-06-23T20:13:00.008-05:00

Andrei's emotions are drawing closer to a normal toddler these days. He is starting to get down right hacked off when one of his sisters takes something away from him that he is playing with. He lets them know in no uncertain babbling that their actions were not cool! Our pediatrician had asked if he got upset when something was taken away from him, and we had to say no. He never uttered a word or changed facial expressions. Not any more! This week he has begun showing jealousy (for lack of a better word??) whenever Annsley or Kennedi is sitting in Doug or my lap. He throws himself on us--literally--and starts crying and trying to push the "obtrusive girl" off the lap. He gets particularly upset with Kennedi. He's turned into this little scrapper! Quite frankly, Kennedi and Andrei have been having their share of jealousy issues with one another. Kennedi has always had them since we brought Andrei home, and I think that Andrei is comfortable enough now that he is "fighting back". It's interesting watching them. They are like two 3 year olds--twins--fighting like two duct taped skunks under a bed sheet. Are you kidding me??? I really thought that they'd be far enough apart in age that I wouldn't have to deal with this. Funny. Not. Her response lately any time he starts crying, which seems to be a lot lately in efforts to get picked up--is, "I didn't touch him!!!!"

I found this article written about post adoption depression for anyone interested. Click HERE.

For those of you doubtful of what I did to begin to pull myself out of my "funk" and that it is working, I found this paragraph in the Magic of Thinking Big . I was actually reading this the evening after I had posted the entry Simple But Powerful. This is to help those who may not share my faith. Apparently there is truth to "fake it till you make it."

The great psychologist, Dr. George W. Crane, said in his famous book, Applied Psychology (Chicago: Hopkins Syndicate, Inc. 1950)"Remember, motions are the precursors of emotions. You can't control the latter directly but only through your choice of motions or actions...To avoid this all too common tragedy (marital difficulties and misunderstandings) become aware of the true psychological facts. Go through the proper motions each day and you'll soon begin to feel the corresponding emotions! Just be sure you and your mate go through those motions of dates and kisses, the phrasing of sincere daily compliments, plus the many other little courtesies, and you need not worry about the emotion of love. You can't act devoted for very long without feeling devoted." Schwartz, David J. The Magic of Thinking Big. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1965.

After I learned that this "condition" had a name [Post Adoption Depression], I was able to find more information. I ordered this book, but by the time I found it, ordered it, and it arrived, I ended up just skimming it. I needed something like this on my bedside table when I arrived home.

And so, in conclusion...

2011-06-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

I still get frustrated at my relationship with Andrei as we close in 120 days at home. It isn’t where I want it to be, but it is like night and day compared to 2 months ago. I’m now in a good enough place to realize that time is all I need right now. I remember only a few short weeks ago rocking him at night and thinking to myself as I looked at him, “Wow! I actually enjoyed having you here today—temper tantrums and all.” It was shortly thereafter that I said, “I love you” as I put him in his crib. It shocked me—kinda like when you say something you shouldn’t and suddenly put your hand over your mouth. It was one of those moments. I said it without even thinking. It wasn’t forced. I was on the downhill slope.

It didn’t change anything with regard to my feelings toward Andrei, but when I found a few others who (a) had struggled nearly verbatim with what I was experiencing and had (b) emerged on “the other side”, it was worth a million dollars to me. I could quit looking out the window to see if the little guys in straight jackets were coming to take me away in the paddy wagon. I knew when I read their accounts, that I could become victorious. I realized that I wasn’t the only fruit loop in a box of Cheerios. And THAT is why I’m telling my story.

From what I’ve gathered, I experienced Post Adoption Depression. I don’t know that for sure—I wasn’t diagnosed with it by a professional, but OK—PAD. Bottom line, I knew nothing about it. It wasn’t even a blip on the radar screen. The whole reason for me opening up about my struggles is to hopefully help someone going through a similar situation. According to one person’s unofficial poll, nearly ½ of adoptive parents (particularly the mother) have struggled with similar issues with varying degrees of intensity of course. If that is true, then I should not have had to struggle so hard to find others who experienced it. Few are open about it.

But I know why…Fear—of CPS coming to your house to investigate the crazy lady, not wanting to ruffle the feathers of an adoptive country, shame, embarrassment, pride, or worried about what others will think. I felt like I was not entitled to have these feelings since I had chosen adoption. No one would understand.

But I’ll be a big mouth frog about this.

People need to be made aware that this is real. People need to know that it happens. For me, just questions like, “How are you doing? Is everything going OK?” didn’t work for me. I assumed that everyone was talking about how Andrei was doing. When my agency made their follow up calls, I answered everything from Andrei's point of view. Even if others specifically addressed me, I’d just mumble, “Fine,” and change the subject. I really think I would have had someone come out and actually say something like, “So, you’ve been home a week now. You know, a lot of mothers are so stressed they often regret the adoption. How are you doing with it?” Or even the more blatant, “So, are you so messed up you’re ready to hitch hike a ride back to Russia and return him?” I’m not a psychologist, and maybe that line of questioning wouldn’t work on everyone, but these types of questions would have let me know that this person knew that other people had struggled. It might have been enough for me to spill my guts and reach out to people who could help me sooner.

So, anyway, that's my story. It's really just the highlights. There was so much more that went on, but I'll save that for another time and place. Hopefully, for now, these posts can find its way to someone who desperately needs it... either for the mother who is struggling or for the friend of the mother who doesn't know how to help her. As for me, I will continue on my road to recovery. I have sent adoption announcements out. Yes, my name was on it as Andrei's parent. We have had family portraits taken, and yes, I was in the pictures. I say I love you to Andrei every night, and most of the time I can it without having a mental war with my mouth. The lullaby? Yes, I sing all the stanzas to him now. I haven’t arrived; I still have pockets of struggles, but I know that now it will only be a matter of time before this mountain will melt like wax (Psalm 97:5).

Simple but Powerful

2011-06-13T13:00:00.003-05:00

I knew I was supposed to feel love for this little boy. I just didn’t know how. I didn’t understand why I didn’t. I didn’t understand why I was resentful of him—why I was angry at him. It was such a different experience than from my girls. I would have walked throught fire the minute I laid eyes on them. With Andrei, I was just hoping I'd remember that he was in the shopping cart before I drove off. The guilt I felt was so suppressing, and I had absolutely no idea how to fix it.

God orchestrates events in our lives; I know that. And what He arranged about 6 weeks into this living hell started my healing. A friend of ours attends Church on the Move in Tulsa, and he sent Doug a recording of one of Willie George’s sermons to listen to. I cannot tell you what the sermon was about, but Willie George said something in there that I knew was meant for me. He was talking about love, and how we are called to love, and how we are to love the unloveable. We aren’t suppose to weasel out of it because according to 2 Timothy 1:7 it says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Love comes from God. I didn’t have to manufacture it. He would give me His love to love Andrei. Oh, the burden that was lifted that evening! Relief flooded every part of my body that night. I began confessing out loud every time I rocked Andrei, “Thank you God for giving me a heart that overflows with love for this child.” Some nights I was saying it with clenched teeth. I didn’t “feel” like I loved him anymore than I did three weeks ago, but I also knew it said in the Bible that we are to call things that do not exist as though they did. When Abram’s name was changed to Abraham, it was many many years of being called the father of many nations before it manifested with Isaac. (Romans 4:16-22)

Satan uses scripture for his benefit. He’s the master of deceit and lies, and he wants nothing less than to destroy us. He was having a hay day with me. He reminded me of 1 John 4:11, Matthew 22:39, 1 Corinthians 13:13, John 15:12 among others. For sake of space, all of these scriptures tell us that we are to love. Period. I was allowing satan to create another vicious cycle by using scripture to condemn me since I was obviously not making the cut in this department of love, and in all reality he was kicking my rear all over the place-- until I heard Willie George. I find it interesting that the little slimy snake didn’t bring up 2Timothy 1:7 to me. I just hung on to that verse. It became my mantra. Every time I would feel the frustrated feelings well up when he screamed or hit, I would say that verse out loud. I would thank God for the spirit of love He gave me—even though I didn’t feel any differently.

The other thing that I credit towards my healing was prayer. Ken and Trudi Blount were guest speakers at our church (they have wonderful family and children resources). At the end of the service, we were invited to go up for prayer. I went, and I just began weeping. Uncontrollable sobbing. Waterworks Central. Ken prayed over me. And then Trudi followed up behind him. I was still sobbing. She walked away, and then she came back, put her hand on my forehead and simply commanded, “Peace.” She started to walk off again, came back, repeated it again. She did that three times before she moved on to the next person.

I was never the same after that. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a changed human over night; it was more like in little waves. I'm still a work in progress. The most important thing was that I could start to see was that it was going to get better. Maybe not today or tomorrow—but I could actually picture the day when this would all seem like a million years ago. Before I just felt like I was trapped in a barrel with a lid that had been welded shut. My road to recovery isn’t fancy; it’s not ostentatious—just one little Bible verse and the word peace-- really, after such emotional theatrics after bringing Andrei home, one would think that it would take something equally as compelling to turn the boat around. My "prescription" seems rather lame I’m sure to some. But this is my story. It's what worked for me and with my God all you need is a grain of mustard seed for Him to work wonders. I thank Him for restoring me. I thank Him for reminding me that I am His child. I thank Him for being Holy, and My Provider, and My Healer, and today, My Deliverer out of this pit of destruction.

The Power of Validation

2011-06-11T19:25:00.006-05:00

After about the third week home with Andrei, I began feverishly searching for something—actually someone who had experienced what I was currently going through. By this time I was no longer crying all night long and had basically resigned myself to accepting that I had messed up my life by bringing this little boy home. But surely, out of the thousands who had adopted, surely there was one soul out there who hadn't said the "love" word about her child, had thought it a mistake, wanted to go back in time and rip up the adoption agency application. If I was going to be “stuck” with my “lemon”, then I needed to find somebody who had made lemonade. I needed to connect with someone who had been there—done that—AND conquered it. It wasn't as easy as it sounded.

So I googled and binged for hours a day at a time. I typed in “parent not attaching to child”, “parent not bonding to adopted child” and any variation of that. I got pages and pages of help with the child not attaching to the parent but I didn’t come across anything about the parent not attaching to the child. This was making me even more frustrated and furthered my pain as I was realized that I obviously was the only pathetic mother facing challenges like I was. I found a thread on FRUA about “fake it until you make it” but that really didn’t help me. There were several moms who had responded to the thread question, but nobody went into detail and most more or less stated that it was hard at first but you’d get through it. I needed more. Lot’s more.

I think what compounded the problem was it seemed that everyone on the outside thought I should be so elated. People would see me and say, “We’re so glad you’re home. Aren’t you just having the best time with Andrei?” Others would say, “You’ve done such a wonderful thing. He is so blessed. Are you just excited?” Or the incessant “He’s just the cutest little thing. I just want to squeeze him!” I’d smile and think, “No, he’s not blessed—he had a mother who doesn’t like him; I’m not having a grand time—I’m the most miserable person on the face of the earth. And no, he’s not cute. Get to the ophthalmologist!” It got to the point that I didn’t want to get out of the house, answer the phone, or return email. I didn’t feel remotely like anything all these outsiders thought I should be feeling.

After a week of searching, I FINALLY stumbled across an article in Adoptive Families online. Tears streamed down my cheeks—I was reading a variation of MY story. I couldn’t believe it. Then I found another. A few days later I found a blog whose owner told her story. Words cannot express what finding these articles did for me. The fact that I found someone else who wanted her adoption to be nullified, that certainly somewhere the paperwork was amiss brought such validation to my tattered emotions. All of a sudden I was not this psychotic mom that I thought I was—and there seemed to be enough others to form a small club!

The problem I now had was that from reading these few articles and blogs, it seemed that time would “heal all wounds.” A year or so and I should be feeling better. That didn’t work for me. I wanted to feel better now. I wanted my life back, and I wanted to enjoy this little boy that I had prayed over for a year whom I hadn’t even met at that time. I just didn't know how I was going to do that...

For those interested, here were my “contacts of validation”: BTW, don't let the sheer size of my list overwhelm you!!)
Article #1

Article #2

Article #3

Article #4

The Bad, The Ugly, and The Really Ugly

2011-06-10T08:03:00.008-05:00

[Thank you everyone for your comments, emails, phone calls, etc. yesterday. It is such a comfort to know that I have support as I muddle through this. Yes, there is a huge silver lining to my story, and I wanted to wait until I could see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak before I even wrote about it. That being said, I would love any resources you know of that you could send my way. I am a woman on a mission!]

It’s a terrible hell to know that deep down you love your child, but you have no idea how to get that love to come out. You're just empty. After basically crying for 72 hours, I finally told Doug what was the matter the Monday morning before he headed off to work for the first time since we returned home.

“I don’t even like him. Aren’t I suppose to feel something for him? I don’t feel anything!” I’ll never forget him standing at the kitchen sink, chuckling, and saying, “It’s just like when you were teaching. You don’t have to like every kid, but we are called to love them.”

Oh Brother! That’s just what I didn’t need to hear. He obvious wanted to keep Andrei. I so much was hoping he’d say something like, “Well Honey, if you’re having that hard of a time with him, let’s look into a disruption.” He said the exact opposite. I was going to be on my own with this problem, and I think that is when the severe panic set in. Who could I talk to? I had never heard of anyone feeling like this. I know of only a few people who adopted anyway, and everyone on the blogs that I followed seemed to be head over heels in love with their child, so I truly felt that I was some kind of freak for feeling like this. So, I kept everything inside. I mean everything. I would just curl up in a ball in my bed and just sob during the night or early morning. I had messed up our family. I had messed up our girls’ lives. I would sob because I was going to be “stuck” with this child for the next 18 years. And then I’d really start wigging out because I realized that you don’t ever stop really being a parent, and I had just flat out messed up the rest of my entire life. A few people knew was having a “slow going” of it--Doug knew, but I don't think he really knew just how whacked I really was. I felt like I had asked for this adoption, and I had no “entitlement” to be upset or have these feelings. I was rejecting him—this fatherless child. What kind of cruel human was I?

It was literally hard to breathe some days. I wanted to run away—just take my girls and go far away. Doug seemed to like Andrei enough—he could have him. People would ask me how Andrei was doing, and I’d say great. If they asked how I was doing, I’d take a deep breath, swallow, and say something like, “I’m adjusting. It’s getting better,” and then quickly change the subject because the tears were welling up, and this unsuspecting person was fixing to have a severe mental case of gut wrenching wailing if I didn’t find something else to talk about.

I have very few pictures of Andrei in the first 2 months of being home with him. It was as if I was trying to make sure it would be easy to “erase him” if we did find another place for him to go. And there certainly isn’t a picture of me with him to be found. I was at the library for story time with the girls, and I had Andrei with me for the first time. The children’s librarian commented that I certainly had my hands full. I didn’t tell her that I had just brought him home from Russia. I think I had in the back of my mind that maybe she thought I was just baby sitting. My sister commented one day that he was so cute in one of the pictures I had posted on my blog. I think I muttered something like, “Those pictures can be deceiving.”

I never even whispered “I love you” to Andrei. I sang a lullaby that I had made up when Annsley was a baby and sang it nightly to both her and Kennedi. I sang it to Andrei, but I always omitted the second stanza because it had “I love you” in it. I was angry that he seemed to poop in a clean diaper just minutes after I had changed him. I was resentful that my girls were sharing a room and the transition was not going very smoothly. I was perturbed that I had to put up baby gates again, but at the same time those baby gates were a needed barrier between him and me as I would stand in the kitchen and just be thankful that he couldn’t get to me.

I was so indifferent towards him. When he was wheezing and in severe respiratory distress, I was just cold. I made the appointment with our pediatrician at Doug’s prompting, but I didn’t take him. I didn’t feel compelled to take him. Understand with my girls I took them every single time to the doctor when they were sick. 50 grannys with their Winchesters weren’t going to stop me from being the parent who was taking them to the doctor. I just looked at Doug, shrugged, and mumbled, “He’s got an appointment in an hour. You’d better get ready to take him.” It was like I was having this out of body experience. I didn’t even recognize myself.

Andrei was not taking naps. He was staying awake all day long, and the longer he stayed awake, the more his “orphanage” behaviors intensified. I seemed to be his outlet. He would hit me, spew his food, scream bloody murder for no reason and shake his little body in some kind of primal fit when I changed his diaper. He would suck his thumb, and all of a sudden, for no reason, begin screaming at the top of his lungs. He was inconsolable. He would sit in my lap and just scream. He screamed if he was not on my lap. He screamed if I just held him. Often I just put him on the floor and walked off. It was often more than I thought I could handle. It was a vicious cycle. I wasn’t coping very well to say the least. I knew I needed help, but I had no idea about where to go for resources. And thus began my search…

My Not So Perfect Adoption Story

2011-06-09T07:30:00.003-05:00

What you are about to read is not for the pre-adoptive parent who is feint at heart…so reader beware. I have prayed that the Holy Spirit will put my words into a context that will enlighten, minister, and ultimately bring glory to My God.

I read briefly--usually limited to a paragraph or two-- in various adoption books that the first few weeks or even months might be difficult once you have your little one home, and that it was normal. I likened those statements to comparing bringing my girls home from the hospital and experiencing what ultimate exhaustion really was for the first time in my life. Getting a routine down, getting up every 3-4 hours at night, changing her outfit at the slighest hint of drool on her outfit, learning that it was a good day if I got a shower before 2:00PM, etc. I read/studied NOTHING about this post adoption adjustment as a period of living hell.

I had an extremely difficult time bonding with Andrei. No, that statement isn't strong enough--I couldn’t stand the fact that he was in our home. I so wished Russia would call and want their boy back. I wanted our agency to call and say that there had been a mistake with the paperwork and our adoption was not finalized. There had to be SOMETHING wrong! Maybe he wasn’t on the national database long enough, maybe the judge was kicked out of office and all her decisions were nullified…surely there was an “i” that hadn’t been dotted. I didn’t care the reason; I just wanted him gone—away from me. I purposely took my time getting the paperwork together to register him for the Russian Consulate. I actually thought to myself, “So what if I lose my $1000 deposit? If I don’t register him, won’t they come and get him?” They being anyone—our agency, the state of Texas, CPS, Russia—I didn’t care—and then another wave of panic hit me as I realized that even if I didn’t register him no one would come and physically get him—Russia certainly wasn’t going to get on a big jet plane and rescue him—and then I’d be one of the ones jeopardizing Russian adoptions and other adoptive parents who obviously loved their children, and I’d still be stuck with him.

Great amounts of time, literature, and training are given to adoptive parents about attachment issues with regard to the child attaching to the parent. Very, very little is readily available about the parent not attaching to the child (particularly the mother). I ask why, as it seems that this is quite a common problem and why is no on talking about it? (Well, I know why, and I'll address that later).

So, here is my story…I’m know I’ve shattered any thoughts of you thinking I was the Leave It to Beaver mom and I've probably put myself out of the running of this year's Mother of the Year award; however, I’m sharing my struggle with you and swallowing a whole bowlful of pride because I spent 8 very dark weeks thinking I was the only one who had ever experienced this. I had no idea what was happening to me, and that I was in a box all by myself. I never in a million years would have guessed that I would have felt this way toward my child…the child that I chose…

I'm not exactly sure what all I should share, but I will just let the Holy Spirit guide me over the next few posts. Right now, I expect to share some of what I was feeling and how I got over it. We'll see. I just want to be able to help at least one mom who would rather have scissors stabbed in her eyes rather than play and rock the little child she just brought home; if I can do that, then it will have been worth it to tell my sordid tale. If you know of anyone who is having trouble "adjusting" to her newly adopted child, please share these next few entries with them.

Turning into a regular toddler

2011-06-07T11:37:00.013-05:00

Andrei's first swim! He loved it! It took him a few minutes to start splashing as it gets him out of the tub at night, but once he realized that rule wasn't here, he had an awesome time!

I believe Andrei is adjusting rather well. He seems to be acting like a normal toddler would these days....not at all happy to be the only one in the living room, temper tantrums, deciding to eat all of his peas one day and not touching them the next. He has also started to put his head on my shoulder when he is upset and not wanting me to put him down. The hitting me in the face has become non-existent in the last month! Yeah! Whenever he sees you talking on the phone, he puts his hand on his own ear. So cute!

He was running 102 fever Sunday afternoon, and he's been tired ever since Annsley's birthday party this weekend (yes, I have a 7 year old--yikes!). He slept until 9:30 this morning, but he needed every bit of the slumber. I think he did remarkably well with all the excitement at Annsley's party. Usually we see his serious face (the same one we got daily at the orphanage) but this time he actually loosened up seemed to have a good time. He thought Annsley's cake was the cat's meow!

He loves, loves, loves his daddy. I am toast the minute he hears his voice when Doug comes home in the afternoon. (As it was--still is--with my girls. (sigh)) He loves to sit in your lap, and if you're on the floor, he will come over to "sit." And he wants his back up against your stomach; the closer he can get to you the better!His speech comes and goes. He will go days without "practicing" his words, and then a few days later he'll say some of his regulars. He does understand "nyet" and "no"--they usually reduce him to tears. Annsley noticed this the other day, and then just went around the room saying "nyet Andrei" to see if she could make him cry. It didn't, but let his mother say it and out come the waterworks. Notice I said "his mother"--he doesn't hear those words from his father...

Deal of the Day! SOLD!

2011-06-01T13:50:00.011-05:00

EDIT: The Russian Adoption Travel Kit and Miscellaneous Items are sold! Thank you Ashley and I am excited to see that they are going to a good home! :)

Here is the "I'm Going to Russia and Adopt Travel Kit." Seeing that I've only made one international adoption run, all products are in excellent used condition and yours for a bargain basement price! The retail of all products combined would total over $175.

First up, what I would consider the "don't go to Russia to adopt without it" piece of equipment: the universal power adapter strip. The cord is fitted for Russia, so you don't even need an adapter to plug it into the wall. I paid $40 for it.

Teresa Keheller's adoption language kit. Well worth the $45 I paid. You will get the CD Rom, booklet with phonetical spelling, flash cards, and a language CD with court phrases.

BUT WAIT..... There's more...

Adapters with a cute little carrying case. I didn't end up using these since I had the power strip, but these would be great if you wanted to dry your hair and not stand next to the computer while your husband was trying to SKYPE. ($18)

If you've read the blog of our travels, you know that this little book got us our mustard among other things. Another travel essential!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING--IT CAN'T GET ANY BETTER--BUT WAIT--THERE'S MORE:

Russian Pimsleur CDs. Great for those wanting to really learn how to converse in Russian.

10 Steps to Successful International Adoption Workbook--unused. Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child book.

AND JUST WHEN YOU DIDN'T THINK IT COULD GET ANY BETTER...

Focus on the Family CDs on adoption topics. I think there are about 8 or so total here. They range from Steven Curtis Chapman to just question and answers from their radio broadcast.

No, you're not going to pay $150, or even $100. No, you'll get all this for only $80 AND I'll throw in the shipping for free!

I will even throw in a very used copy of The Complete Book of International Adoption by Dawn Davenport if you want it. I would recommend that book to anyone adopting internationally.

Contact me by email and we can arrange payment and shipping details! This stuff is just sitting in a corner and not getting used, and at my age, I don't anticipate using it again (ha! ha!) so I'm making it available to anyone who would like to have it!

Folks, We Have Us A Walker!

2011-05-30T08:00:00.003-05:00

Yes, yesterday afternoon, Andrei took his first steps by himself!! It took going after his daddy's OU cap to do it (and I do not at all agree with his choice of enticement), but by the end of the afternoon, he was taking up to 5 steps at a time! He's got a serious Frankenstein gait going on, but I am so proud of our big boy! :) We think the sudden interest in trying to take a step stems from him partying with his 2 year old cousins the day before. He got to watch "the little people" walk and used them as his inspiration! Thank you Fischer and Blake!

He visited out pediatrician for a well visit this week. He has gained nearly 4 pounds and grown an inch. He is now in the 50% percentile for weight and 60% for height. Not bad for growing up in an orphanage! I realize that most of the Russian children are at the bottom if not below the growth charts, so we feel blessed that Andrei is so big. Either his biological parents were huge people, or God was making sure he was getting every calorie available to him until we could pick him up.

He has started throwing some wing dingers of temper tantrums. Our pediatrician said he is probably feeling comfortable enough with us to do that. Joy. His favorite position for his temper tantrums is to have his forehead on the ground and his rear in the air. He has figured things out rather quickly, and now puts his head on a couch pillow. Annsley walked by him the other day while he was in the middle of one of his tantrums and I heard her say, "Andrei, don't you know Mom is not going to give you anything for throwing a fit?" She knows! :)

I just want to say a big, huge thank you to our veterans and service men and women. Because of you I get to enjoy living in the awesome country of ours. I also want to thank the families of these men and women because they are sacrificing their family so my family can enjoy our freedoms.

Picture Post

2011-05-23T07:00:00.001-05:00

Riding the rockin' horse!

Beautiful face!

Gettin' the hang of this feeding yourself thing!

I love hats! Any kind of hat!

Shaggy Boy!

Handsome Boy!

Playing in the tent with Kennedi

Come on, Andrei! Stay awhile!

Let me out of here!

Escape at last! Whew!

Is Leopard Print Girly??

2011-05-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

Well, is it? The reason I'm asking is Andrei is using Kennedi's old car seat. It has a leopard print cover. I kept wondering why everyone was asking me if I wanted a new cover for it. I kept saying, "no." I mean, it is in great shape. Why would I want to foolishly spend money that doesn't have to be spent. This morning Annsley sees her old car seat in the barn and says to me, "Mom, I think we need to start using mine. It looks more boyish." It was at that moment that I realized what everyone was trying to say to me but I was in La-La Land. I asked her, "You think leopard is for a girl only?" My husband, who overheard the conversation, said loudly, "Uhhh...YEAH!" Oh jeez....if I keep him in the leopard print, will it mar him for life? I really, really like it....

Andrei is suddenly big into copy-cat. We were all eating supper the other evening, and Doug was sitting at the table with his hand on his chin listening to Annsley tell a story, and we look over at Andrei. He has his elbow in the middle of his lovely Gerber Pasta Pick-ups and his food infested hand is resting on his chin watching his daddy. Oh I wish I had had my camera ready! At some point during the meal, Kennedi starts clapping with her hands over her head. Andrei follows in suit. This morning he was out on the porch, and Kennedi yells loudly, "Mo-o-o-o-o-m--a-a-a-a-a!" Andrei, in that loud loud voice of his, copies her. (And yes, he really said, "Mom!")

He loves it when you praise him. I often wonder how often he heard praise in the orphanage. One place it has a big pay off is in the high chair. He devours the food he likes first, and then his enthusiasm waffles at the veggies or non-banana fruit. I've learned that I can feed him one piece, say "Yeah Andrei!" and clap, and then he will pick up the food on his own and feed himself it. I say, "Yeah Andrei!" and clap again. By the third bite he is clapping for himself when he puts a piece in his mouth. And he continues to clap for himself until everything is gone. Hilarious!

He has started this reclining thing when you're on the floor. He will push himself up against you and sit or stand next to you. I mean really push. It's like he's trying to make himself stick on you like Silly Putty. If he were any heavier and I any lighter I'd topple over like a bowling pin. What is he doing??? I think we're also starting to experience the separation anxiety phase. He's getting to be that age, and it has really taken a hold of him the last few days. All of a sudden I can't go to the bathroom without him having a break down. Stepping over the gate to get something cooked in the kitchen brings tears. Putting him down on the floor and walking away is murder. I suppose that is all good and well in the adoption world, HOWEVER, I find myself trying desperately not to roll my eyes in exasperation. This too shall pass....this too shall pass... this too shall pass...

As I've mentioned before, the boy is loud. This high volume primal grunting comes with everything he does. At the time of this writing, he is currently in the living room doing his "business" in his diaper. He is grunting so loudly that people would have to turn down their hearing aids if they were in the vicinity of my house. And no, he's not constipated--trust me on that one. I finally got his name letters up in his room, and he now points to them and thunders something about them daily. He grabs his wrist when I change his diaper, and he blows his own raspberries on it. I consider it a good day if I can go all day and not pick up something saliva ladened.

In adoption news our homestudy agency has contacted us about setting up an appointment this summer for our first post placement visit! Yikes! Time is flying! By the way, his name is pronounced Aun-dray. We never thought in a million years that people wouldn't know how to pronounce his name by the "common spellin" we used. So much for that thought... :)

Big-Huge successes!

2011-05-10T12:38:00.010-05:00

Andrei has FINALLY begun taking naps on a consistent basis over the course of the last week and a half. He really hasn't been consistent since we left Krasnoyarsk, and he is so much more of a joy to be around when he's rested. He's in that difficult in between stage now of sometimes 2 naps are too much and 1 nap is not enough, but AT LEAST HE'S NAPPING! 60+ days without any type of consistency of day time sleeping for a 14 month old wears thin in a hurry. He's been taking two 1 1/2 naps or a 2-2 1/2 hour single nap these days. HALLELUJAH!

I had asked God for a laid back child--a phlegmatic. I don't have much experience with this personality type as I'm not one, Doug isn't one, Annsley isn't one, and the world knows Kennedi isn't one either, but I knew in order for me to survive I couldn't entertain a demanding child. One of my friends from high school who has a baby girl Andrei's age thinks that it just God being nice to us "older" folks. What ever it is, I'll take it. That being said, I'm starting to think Andrei is really going to need to work on the "git" in his git-along. Point one: The boy can stand without holding on to anything for a good 5-10 seconds. Does he try to take a step? No. We try to coax him to take a step to one of us, and he just grins, drops to his knees, and speed crawls to us. I've never seen anyone crawl so fast in all my life. I wish there was a Toddler Crawl Race somewhere. He'd clean up. Point two: I decided last week that he should really be moving past the pureed stage of mom feeding him and on to feeding himself. Yes, pureed food is easy, not messy, and probably it's number one selling point...it's fast. But toddlerhood is calling. I tried hard to think back how I transitioned the girls to finger foods, and I kept drawing a big blank, so I came to the conclusion that it must have not been a big deal. I figured the same with Andrei. After all, he handles the Puffs, potting soil, and rocks from the yard with ease.

The boy just sat there. Literally. Didn't put his hands on his food--nothing. Five quiet minutes went by. I picked up a piece of carrot and tried to put it in his mouth. He just pressed his lips together. I tried having him pick up a piece with his hand, but again he just pressed his lips together. I gave him a spoon. He just pulverized his food with it. I finally got out a spoon and offered the carrot in the spoon. Ahhh....success! Yes, he was waiting for me to feed him, and he was ready to refuse to eat otherwise. Unfortunately, I'm as stubborn as he is, and after basically skipping his lunch in lieu of waiting for me to feed him, he wiped his tray clean at snack time of cut up cheese, toast, and yes, those carrots all by his little ole self. It's taken about 5 days, but he is finally feeding himself for the most part of the day. He's still getting Mom to feed him his cereal because I load it with all sorts of vitamins and other stuff that most adults would turn their noses up and his yogurt because I mix fruit with it to make sure he gets some kind of fruit every day. He gets broccoli/avocodo fed by me once a day to make sure he's getting his greens, but other than that, he's taking care of his own business which also means I'm having to clean the high chair after he's used it. (One more caveat of me feeding him pureed food....) He's even taken to eating Yogurt Melts now, something that he has adamantly refused for two months.

His favorite finger food so far? Hands down a Tyson frozen chicken nugget. He scarfs those things like there is no tomorrow. I'm not too crazy about some kind of processed food being his "go to" meal, but at least bananas seem to be pretty cool too. Can a toddler live on those two things? He did, however, have about 5 pieces of his peach at lunch today, so maybe he's starting to branch out and enjoy the array of fine food his mother prepares for him daily!

Boys are nothing like girls!

2011-05-01T18:47:00.003-05:00

Are boys just LOUD???? Andrei is so loud! We are going to have to work on some serious voice control soon. He has one volume---ear splitting! I can't even hear myself think some times, let alone try to read the girls a book with him in the same room. And the spit! Raspberries are spewed all over the place all day long. He makes truck noises even when there isn't a truck to play with in sight. He does everything with noises--from sitting in his high chair to crawling across the floor. Oh my! It was so different with my girls!

I think he may be an early NASCAR lover. I had him in the stroller the other afternoon, and the girls were wanting to ride their bikes. They wanted to race me up to the road. I said, "On your mark...get set, GO!" and the second I said "GO" and started running with the stroller, Andrei starts squawking (loudly of course) like he was saying, "Go faster! Go faster!" As soon as both girls left us in the dust, literally, he stopped talking and looked up at me like, "That was all you could do???" I thought it was just coincidence that he acted like that, but later Kennedi wanted to race me again. Same thing happened. He was kicking his feet and chattering up a storm until he saw that he was getting dusted, and then he settled back down. Maybe I should introduce him to the story of the Tortoise and the Hare; he's obviously dealing with some issues of perserverence.

We're going to have to get Andrei to the barber. We need a professional to take a look at his hair. The orphanage buzzed it down pretty well, but it has always had strange growth pattern. We have the Justin Bieber look going on as it seems to naturally want to grow forward towards his face. Then we have the section that is growing straight out. I mean, straight out. Doug calls it "hedgehog" hair. I'm not too sure about that term, but all I know is it's about 2 inches long, and grows at a 90 degree angle out. Water will not tame it. I'm not sure even bubblegum would. Doug tells me I should be combing it backwards if I want him to have a part--that it's not girls' hair. I thought hair was hair and I could train it to do what I wanted. I guess not...So, in preparation for his first official American hair cut, Doug's been asking me, "Do you want something like a 1 block and fade in to a 1/2 or go with a 2?" Huh????? What ever happened to scissors?

We got our paperwork and Andrei's Russian passport back from the Russian Consulate this week. So, we are now officially registered with them. I found it interesting that while in Russia, everyone carried their "legal" or important papers in plastic files or plastic sheet protectors. Every time we got a document in Russia, the secretaries always handed it to us in a sheet protector--like those that you'd put in a 3 ring binder. We were never given any papers without some sort of protective covering. Low and behold, the letter we got from the Russian Consulate, which is written in Russian and I have absolutely no idea what it says, came in...drum roll.....a plastic sheet protector! I am now the proud owner of enough sheet protectors I could set up a kiosk on a college campus and have quite a little side business.

And in other news...Annsley was asking me the other day what kind of candy they had when I was a kid. I told her my favorites were Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups and Willy Wonka's Wacky Wafers. Do you remember those? I'm drooling thinking about the green apple and banana ones. Do they even make those any more? Anyway, she'd never heard of the Wacky Wafers, but she did recognize the Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups (maybe because her mother still has a penchant for them today??). She wrinkled up her face and asked, "They had those way back then? That is some old candy, Mom!" Yes, my dear, and I can still remember the TV commercial jingle..."Two great tastes that taste great together....Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups!"

Another Monday update

2011-04-25T14:26:00.006-05:00

Andrei still isn't walking, and really he doesn't have much interest in trying to launch out from the couch on his own. He still prefers crawling and "cruising" around the furniture as his means of travel, but I know it won't be long. Both my girls were late walkers, and quite frankly, once they start walking, there's a whole lot more baby proofing that has to be done, so I'm OK with him being on the floor for now!

He's starting to talk a bit. He gets in trouble pretty regularly for hitting on the face, and we always repeat "Be soft" to him, so he now says "off" whenever he touches my face--whether he's being "soft" or not. He says "duck" whenever we read this touch and feel book to him although he consequently calls the hen, sheep, and goat "duck" as well, but it's a start. Doug just knows he says "Daddy" and "Doug", but I have my serious doubts about that. He's drinking his milk cold now. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do the warming up thing forever. I think warm milk is gross anyway. He's not a big fan of green beans, and he's still not too sure about ice cream, but I have no doubt that his sisters will be teaching him about the joys of the frozen confection. He's not too sure about grass yet. We put him on the ground in the back yard, and he sits with his feet off the ground. It's hilarious. He doesn't crawl; he just sits balancing himself on his rear. He does have a strong attraction to dead leaves and bits of grass around him, so he's getting his "greens" you might say. This boy has gone from putting absolutely NOTHING in his own mouth to eating rocks and anything he can get his little fingers on. I was so hoping he was just one of those kids who didn't eat paper and such, but it was all wishful thinking.

He's starting the phase of throwing things off the high chair or out of his crib. I tell him that I didn't pay extra money for him to have a SuperMan blanket, and it's not coming back to him, but so far he hasn't caught on. I watched him yesterday take every one of his Puffs and one by one drop each one on the floor--all 25 of them. He'll be rationed to 5 at a time from now on. I've always wondered just how long it takes them to figure out that gravity works EVERY TIME!! His volume of poop has drastically reduced from 6-8 times a day to maybe twice a day. That's so good to someone who doesn't like changing diapers. Maybe all those toxins are finally getting out of his little body--or maybe he's getting used to American food. I don't really care as to why, but less poop is always a good thing in my book, so I won't ask questions. Andrei is finally starting to protest when someone besides Doug or me wants to hold him, so I guess in the adoptin world that is a good thing!

Nobody has thrown up in my house for 9 days now, so we're on the downhill run for that--praise the Lord! Andrei is still on breathing treatments 3 times a day, and the coughing is down to maybe once a day or not at all, so I know we'll be able to ditch the breathing machine soon!

Moving on the other world shattering events, I cleaned my coffee pot for the first time since we got back from Russia. I wish I could say it was a black one, and I couldn't tell just how nasty it really was, but sadly it is white. My bed has actually gotten made twice this month, and I set my alarm this morning for 6:00 and didn't turn it off and go back to sleep. Perhaps a somewhat normal life can be seen returning one of these days!

And for the most exciting news of the week...Annsley decided she wanted to be baptized, and so Doug baptized her at our church's Good Friday service this weekend. I was so proud of her wanting to make a public profession of her faith. Yeah Annsley!

The Boy from Baby House 10

2011-04-18T19:57:00.007-05:00

Just this weekend I finally got around to watching Dateline's episode on The Boy from Baby House 10. Incredible! If you haven't watched it, click on the link and watch at least the first segment. There are 6 total. Each one is about 5-6 minutes http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/the-boy-from-baby-house-10-part-1/6u0gp1d?q=date+line+boy+from+baby+house+10

It is about a boy who was diagnosed with cerabal palsy and his journey of adoption by an American. I think I was particularly moved for several reasons. One being the recent developments of some families from the Poskv region who are attempting to adopt some special needs children. One family was denied at court with the judge ruling that the child would be better off in an institution than a family. I am floored that this sentiment still exists. Secondly, Dateline shows the fence around the mental institution. I literally got cold chills looking at it as Andrei's orphanage had the same type of fence surrounding his baby house. In fact, nearly all "government institutions"--orphanages, schools, hospitals, etc. have the same type of fence. It is rather eery. Thirdly, we didn't know until the afternoon before we picked up Andrei that his baby house was half special needs. That would explain the strange Stalinistic high chair with about 10 different straps attached to it to belt a child in that where Andrei was fed. I had thought it strange when we were allowed to go into the room where he spent his days that only a 1 or 2 children were out and then they were quickly whisked away to another room as soon as we walked in.

Fourthly, I had a flashback to college (when it's been over 20 years, is it still considered a flash back???) my last semester. A teacher's last semester is spent doing 10 or so weeks of student teaching after you have about 4-6 weeks of classes. One of those classes was Gifted and Talented. Our class took a field trip to a nearby mental institution. To this day, I have NO idea what that had to do with our class, but the van ride back to college was strangely quiet after spending 3-4 hours in an Oklahoma severely mentally handicapped institution. And this was in the good ole USA. I can only imagine what life would be like in countries like Russia for the mentally/physically disabled. We did not visit any place in Krasnoyarsk that was handicap accessible. There were very very few in Moscow, it what we saw were pretty primitive. Truly, this is just ONE of the many reasons why Doug and I now think everyone who lives in this awesome country of ours should go and spend a month in a foreign country--and not in the Marriott. We all should be kicking ourselves for not doing more with the blessings we have here. It made a profound impression on us.

There's puke, and then there's puke...

2011-04-12T14:25:00.010-05:00

Again, I apologize for the few and far between posts since we've gotten home. I set up this blog to document our adoption journey, and I'm not sure at what point I need to bring it to a close. I do have one topic I want to discuss before I venture on, but I'm not ready to go there just yet. So, until then, you'll have to labor through my what has become once a week updates!:)

I'm not sure what all the hitting is about with these orphanage kids, but Andrei is doing plenty of it himself. Did he get away with it in the orphanage because he does it too often and laughs too much to think he was ever "repriminded." It is definitely one of the irritating moments we're having at our house lately.

My family has always been so well and healthy. Since we've been home from Russia, Annsley threw up first; a few days later, Kennedi blessed us with it. By the way, it was the first time in her entire life that she has EVER thrown up. I got the 24 hour stomach virus the next day--threw up no less than 20 times. And Doug, not to be left out, came up with it the day after me with the (and I quote) 'high trots and thin scatters...' Andrei voted no way and never caught it--thank the Lord! Kennedi currently is taking antibiotics for her sore throat, and Annsley is taking the same for her severe sinus infection. It is the first time in 3 years that she has been to our pediatrician for being sick. She has thrown up three times in the last four days as well. Andrei has seen our pediatrician 3 times in less than a month. He is also on his second round of antibiotics for this severe lung infection that our pediatrician feels certain he had while in Russia. One week after we got home, he developed this cough that sounded like some 90 year old man that had spent his entire life smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day. He could hardly catch his breath and was laboring to breath. It was so severe that the receptionist at our pediatrician got our doctor out of another exam room to look at him immediately. Round #1 of antibiotics and the sacred breathing treatment machine--always fun for the one year old in your life. Our pediatrician thought that he'd had this "problem" quite a bit in his little life as he was "too comfortable" with his rapid breathing she said. This past Saturday, he was back to the old man coughing and the breathing treatments weren't making a bit of difference, so Doug took him in Saturday morning. Round #2 on major high powered antibiotics now and we have an agressive plan of action to get rid of this thing once and for all. He was coughing so much Saturday night that he threw up all over his bed. He never cried. We wouldn't have even known about it but we went into his room to give him a breathing treatment. He's better now, but I am so tired of cleaning up vomit. Annsley threw up just this morning all over the bathroom rug. I should buy stock in Tide. Don't come to my house these days. It stinks here--literally and figuratively.

On a positive though, Andrei has gained nearly 2 pounds in a month--and that is despite being sick. Go Big Boy! His favorite game in to crawl back and forth over your legs when you are sitting on the ground. He loves to play "tickle" with his daddy. And he loves baths. His father lets him splash, but I don't. In fact, we get out as soon as that starts. I'm sure he thinks I'm not the "fun" one, but it's just a tiny detail I'll have to live with. He's still not walking, but he is so proud of himself when he uses his "walker". He still clucks his tongue when he sees someone eating although it has slowed down tremendously from what he used to do. He grinds his little teeth though, and I still can't figure out what makes him do that...stress...tired....scared....just because....

Getting some Texas sun. (I think he's going to be putting his part Indian daddy under the bus with the suntans!)

Checking out the cat...he's still not too sure about this furry thing...

And More Paperwork! Does it ever end? Ever???

2011-04-04T20:40:00.004-05:00

I think Andrei has gained 50 pounds this last week! Not really, but he's sporting himself a little buddha belly these days, and many of his size 12 month clothes are starting to look a bit snug. It's amazing what good nutrition will do!

Our agency gave us the option of doing our Russian Consulate registration at home rather than stay in Moscow for another day, and we gladly opted for that! By the way, I am so incredibly glad that we chose our agency, Wyoming Children's Society. I don't think I had mentioned this before, but while in Krasnoyarsk, we met up with another couple adopting from another agency. Their 2nd trip was 6 days longer than ours! They were spending 29 out of their 30 day tourist visas! Can I have a big shout for our agency's efficiency???!!! So, anyway, we have 3 months to get Andrei registered at the Russian Consulate. I think I have everything ready for poor Loritta to notarize. We have to send in Andrei's Russian passport, and they will put a stamp in it and then send it back to us. So that will be added to the "make sure this file folder goes with you in the event of a natural catastophe." When we left the American Embassy, we were given all the original notarized Russian documents (birth certificate, court decree, adoption certificate, etc.) If we lose them, the only way to get another copy is to travel back to Russia.

We still need to get his American passport...one of these days (sigh...). We got Andrei's certificate of citizenship from the Department of Homeland Security today. We plan to readopt him in Texas one of these days. I'm thinking that it will be much easier to get copies of birth certificates and such as he gets older and will need them rather than using the Russian one with the translation stapled to it. I did find it interesting that he already has a social security card and we didn't fill out any paperwork for that one. Big Brother is watching! :(

Adjusting

2011-03-28T19:39:00.005-06:00

I apologize for being absolutely terrible about posting updates. Andrei finally got moved into his own room last night, and I think it was the first time in nearly a month that I slept more than 3 hours at a time. Maybe I can do better now. The girls are now sharing a room. The bunk beds are not going so well with Kennedi. She is having a hard time settling down and not bugging her sister. It's just too tempting not to keep kicking the upper bunk, ya know??? And from what her sister told me this afternoon, she was up at 5:00 throwing Annsley's doll house furniture all over the room. That would explain why my 6 year old was snoring on the couch this afternoon... Maybe I'm the only one sleeping now... Andrei loves to play peek-a-boo. He is now eating his Puffs using his pincher grasp and hitting his mouth with 90% accuracy. I was having the hardest time getting him to drink all his milk before the end of the day, so in a brainchild move, I put it in a straw sippy cup (I love Zoli Bot straw cups!!!) and it has become a non-issue now. He no longer screams when breakfast/lunch/dinner is over; he no longer screams when he gets his diaper changed. He now will let me rock him for long periods of time. At first, anything over 2 minutes and he was arching his back and throwing one heck of a fit. I'm a big advocate of putting my babies down before they are completely asleep, but he is actually relaxing enough to close his eyes and nearly go to sleep in my arms. Yeah! Now, the napping is another issue. He's been hit or miss on the naps. I've been changing his schedule a little by making sure he is up and adam by 7:30AM, and it seems if I have him in bed by 9:45AM for his morning nap, he will generally sleep an hour then. I've been rereading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child again, and I so I started today with a longer "soothing" time before his naps, and it seemed to help. Both my girls were such awesome sleepers, and I owe so much of it to that book. I've finally decided not to even turn on the video monitor until an hour has passed, so that I don't get frustrated watching him not take his naps. It is certainly helping me with my attitude if nothing else. He has taken to Kennedi's old taggie blanket I had made for her. As soon as I pick it up, he pops his thumb in his mouth; it is so automatic it is frightening. I'm so excited that he has picked that up as a comfort object, as in Russia he was always "fingering" the bed sheet and holding it to his nose. I was afraid I was was going to have to cut up one of my bed sheets and have him tote that around. That was pretty sad watching that whole thing. His sisters love him dearly although Annsley is starting to realize that he is taking alot of my time. Kennedi thinks he is her doll and tries to drag him all over the house. When she takes a toy that he's been playing with, he starts babbling loudly like a mad Chinese man. I know he'd be cussing if he knew how to cuss. Annsley keeps asking if he's going to talk Russian when he starts saying words. He has learned his new name, Andrei. He will pat his chest when we ask him, "Who is Andrei?" He pats and pats his chest and just smiles. I think he is trying to say "Ball." It comes out "ga"...close enough if all you've heard is Russian all your life! (EDIT: I apologize for the lack of paragraphing. Blogger kept taking them out. I promise I had them in there!!)

The Andrei Slide Show

2011-03-21T21:36:00.010-06:00

So, since I've been too tired to write anything remotely witty, here's a slide show of Andrei in Russia and since he's been home.

10 Days Home with Andrei

2011-03-14T13:13:00.005-06:00

It has certainly been an adjustment around here with Andrei. He's probably doing better than the rest of us though! The return jet lag kept us all three up at 3:00AM, but thanks to Tylenol PM, I'm doing better.

Andrei is a great sleeper at night. He's off and on with his naps--not sure what's going on there. We have him in bed by 7:30, and he usually sleeps until 7:30 the next morning. I'm so thankful for the video monitor (thank you Momma Carol!) because he will be awake---and not make a sound in his crib--just waiting for someone to come get him. It makes it nice in one way, but it is so terribly sad that this behavior is a product of his environment.

He loves baths. We're still dealing with the "funk", but it is so much better. He actually smells like a baby every once in a while, so I know we're getting there. :) He still hates his diaper being changed, but it has gone from being upset and frightened to downright throwing a temper tantrum. Mom is having a hard time dealing with that little fit...

We're on operation "Get Good Nutrition" right now. We're throwing down the avocados, flax seed, beans, broccoli, yogurt and anything else that could be deemed nutritional in an effort to "catch him up." He's a pretty good eater--and he's finally stopped throwing a fit when we quit feeding him. His stomach would literally be ready to burst open, but you'd think you were starving him by the way he acted. We've ditched the bottle; he drinks his luke warm milk from a sippy cup flat on his back or in our arms. He refuses to drink it cold.

We've made an appointment with Cranial Tech in Dallas for next week. He's got some serious head shape issues from being a preemie and not being rotated, and we're hoping they think they will be able to help. It will be quite a commitment on our part as it's a 6 hour drive one way for appointments every 2-3 weeks for several months. Stay tuned for that update.

He crawls all over the house. He's pulling himself up and walking along the couch, so it won't be long before he's walking. His fine motor skills are lacking to say the least though. We've seen him use the pincher grasp a few times, but he still doesn't know how to feed himself. He never puts anything in his mouth. We're working on putting the Puffs in his hand and bringing his hand to his mouth to feed himself. He's starting to do it sometimes by grabbing the Puff in his fist, sticking his whole hand in his mouth, and using his teeth to scrape the Puff off his hand. It's very interesting to see the skills that were so abundant in our girls to be non existent in his repertoire.

His attachment to us is going well I think. He maintains great eye contact with us, he "melds" his body to ours when we carry him, and he has started crawling to us for us to pick him up when he is upset. His sisters are great with him; he prefers Annsley by far simply because she is not constantly in his face. Kennedi is dealing with some jealousy issues. I'll be reading a story to her while she's sitting in my lap, and if Andrei pulls himself up and stands by us, she will ever so slowly take her foot and try to push him away. However, she is right there with me when I change his diaper! :)

Trip 2, Day 20: Headin' Home!

2011-03-07T09:51:00.004-06:00

A bit tardy, but here's the run down of our return to the US. It began with a wakeup call at 2:15AM. We were off to the airport at approximately 3:30AM. The entire time while in Moscow, our driver had a wonderful SUV that we rode in. This morning, we had a different driver and a different car--something akin to a little Ford Focus that didn't grow up. Our 2 big suitcases were all that would fit in the trunk, so our coordinator had a bag in his lap, Doug had one in his lap, and I had Andrei and the diaper bag on my lap. Cozy! It was about an hour's drive to the airport; you would think that it would be an uneventful trip, but not so. Halfway there, our driver gets pulled over by the traffic police. He was not breaking any Russian law; apparently, the traffic police can pull anyone over any time for any reason and check your "documents." Our driver pulls over, gets out of the car, and takes his passport to the police officer. He comes back, and I'm thinking we'll be on our way. Not so. No the police officers--two of them--are knocking on our coordinator's side of the window. They want to check his documents. Now we can be on our way. Not so fast. Now they want to check the people in the back seats' documents. We hand them our passports. And these two officers start going through all the little papers you're suppose to carry in your passport.

This time, it's not a quick look-see and hand them back to the owner. Now they're reading the registration paper. Our coordinator is saying something to them, but they are not buying it. Apparently, something is amiss. It's dark outside, their voices are getting loud, and all I can see out the window is police #2's fire power slung over his shoulder and around his chest. He's carrying something like an M-16 with about a 100 rounds over one shoulder, and some other rifle thing he's holding in his hand ready to point and shoot. It's like they forgot to turn in their guns after World War II was over. Did you not get the memo? I'm praying at this point. Our coordinator is telling us that we don't have our registration paperwork from when we stayed in Moscow the last few days, and they are wanting that. Well, we didn't get any from the hotel. Didn't know to ask. We thought our registration from Krasnoyarsk was good for the whole trip, but apparently not. Now I am in serious prayer mode. Our coordinator is trying to tell them that we stayed at the Marriott Courtyard. He makes a phone call to the hotel and hands his cell phone to police officer #1, who by the way is only carrying a 9 Millimeter gun with about enough ammunition to decimate a cattle herd in 60 seconds. About 3 minutes later we get our passports back and we are on our merry way. Not a good start to our day to say the least. Oh, but the fun is just beginning.

We check in at the Lufthansa desk, and they can't print a boarding pass for Andrei (again!). The agent spends about 20 minutes on the computer, but to no avail. I leave the line and find a place to set my weary body and Andrei to wait. Now Doug is across the lobby having to buy Andrei a seat. He does that, and goes back to the main counter. Now they can't print Doug's boarding pass because it was tied to the earlier "can't print Andrei's boarding pass" ticket. What??? Time is ticking. We have now been dealing with this whole boarding pass thing for over 2 hours now. Our flight leaves in 30 minutes. I'm praying again. I am having a serious problem with this country and need to leave now. Actually, I am the only one who can leave. They can print my boarding pass, but no one elses. I really think at this point I'm about to flip out, and all I want to do is take my boarding pass and let "the boys" fend for themselves. Finally, a merciful angel types the right thing into the computer, and Doug can get his boarding pass. Thank you Lord!

Now we're off to passport control. Sergei goes with us as far as he can, we say thank you, and now we're on our own. At passport control, the lady behind the glass wants to see our paperwork for Andrei. We hand the packet (not the sealed one) from the US Embassy, and she calls for a supervisor. You have got to be kidding me! They can't find his birth certificate in it with our names as his parents. The supervisor, who is not a smiling woman, (is anyone in this country??) goes through it twice. I'm not sure she knows what she's looking for. Finally, she finds it, and we go on our way. They are already boarding our flight by the time we get through security. Doug looks like he's been hiking in the Mohabi Desert there is so much sweat pouring off him. No early boarding for children (not that we would have made that announcement anyway...) Andrei does great on the plane, and we arrive in Frankfurt 3 hours later.

The flight from Frankfurt to Houston was about 10 hours. Andrei slept maybe 20 minutes. He has now been up over 16 hours with 20 minutes of sleep. I'll just let your imaginations run wild envisioning that plane ride. We arrive in Houston, go through passport control, and then are directed to the Immigration Office to process Andrei's paperwork. Now, I realize that this office probably sees a majority of people of "questionable" character, but we got nothin'. I mean nothin'. I wasn't expecting them to play the Star Spangled Banner and blow a paper horn, but come on, can't you at least say, "Congratulations! Andrei is now a US citizen." All we got was, "You should be getting something in the mail about getting him a passport. I'm all done here. You may go." That's it. Thank you friendly Mr. Immigration Man.

We go to the Continental counter to get our boarding passes; it is the first time we have not had to jump through 9 million hoops to get on a plane. We let the ticket lady know how thankful we are. Andrei finally falls asleep before our plane takes off, and sleep until we land.

We have the most wonderful welcoming party at the airport. I cried when I hugged my girls. It was so good to see them. We had balloons, and banners, and even a limo to take us home. My house was cleaner than it had ever been in its life. We had Bar B Que ordered and waiting for us for our supper. Thank you everyone for welcoming us home. (I hope someone got pictures of the whole thing?? Hint hint!) I was so excited to be back, I seriously could have licked the airport windows.

Trip 2, Day 19

2011-03-03T07:13:00.002-06:00

Our appointment as the American Embassy went smoothly. There were 5 other adoptive parents there as well. Andrei was by far the "robust" child there and the most vocal--but in a happy way despite only getting a 30 minute nap in before we left. Most of our time was spent waiting. Adoptive parents move to the front of all lines. I was surprised that not everyone who worked there wasn't American, and many didn't even speak English. Once we made it past security and paid our $404 for Andrei's visa, we sat in the waiting room for probably 45 minutes. The American Embassy guy comes out and talks to all of us adoptive parents at the same time to explain the process, how to handle the paperwork, what lines to get in when we get back to the US, understand that our children are dual citizens until at least 18, etc. One thing that I learned that I did not know was that if our child does not renounce his citizenship after he turns 18 and travels to Russia during his "draft years", he could be called into military service while visiting and there would be nothing he or we could do about it. Yikes! Each of us then has our "interview" where we basically signed two documents and got our sealed envelope to take to the US Immigration in Houston. While we were all waiting for our children's American visas, we met Chad and Heather who had their embassy appointment for the afternoon. Their little boy is as darling in person as in the pictures! Afterwards our coordinator took us on a tour of Red Square. That was truly amazing. I wish I had a recording of everything Sergei was explaining because I doubt I'm going to remember it all when I look at our pictures. Andrei slept through the entire thing as by then it was time for nap #2 of the day.

The traffic in Moscow is horrendous. Not so much because of the crazy out of control driving apparently so popular in Krasnoyarsk but because of the sheer traffic jams everywhere. Our coordinator does not drive, so I asked him if he just takes a taxi whenever he need to go somewhere. He shrugs, and then gives me the hitchhiker sign and says, "I just do this when I need a ride. It's very common over here and not like hitchhiking a ride. Everyone is trying to make extra money, and they will just pull over and you give them some money and they take you if they're going the same way." He then told us he was working with adoptive parents once and their car broke down on the way to the airport, so he was trying to hitch a ride for them. The first car that stopped to help was an ambulance. The driver said he was not in an emergency situation and could take him to the airport, and the second was a police officer in his official police car. Both guys begged him to let them take them as they needed the money, but Sergei said foreigners wouldn't understand going to the airport in the back of a Russian ambulance. With all we experienced in Krasnoyarsk, we did not experience that one!

Yesterday was not a pleasant experience with Andrei. I think I triggered some unpleasant memories he had at the orphanage. Ever since we have had him with us, he has cried when he gets laid on his back and his diaper is changed. We learned to distract him with a toy and before we left Krasnoyarsk, he had about quit crying when his diaper was off. Yesterday he woke up from his nap, and his diaper had leaked from his chest to his ankles. I'm having a hard time getting back into baby mode and remembering to change his diaper before nap. I grab the wipes and start wiping his leg off. He come unglued and starts shaking. I'm beginning to wonder if that is how he got his "baths" at the orphanage with a cold "spit" bath. He is not afraid of the bathtub or water, but he doesn't like being undressed and on his back at all. He basically was a very unhappy baby the rest of the day. It was a very very long day.

We're being picked up at 3:30 in the morning to head to the airport. I feel like Dorothy--"There is no place like home!"

Trip 2, Day 18

2011-03-02T07:49:00.006-06:00

Today started at 7:30 with our coordinator filling out the forms needed at the American Embassy. I really like our coordinator who is Sergei. He is not our agency's regular Moscow coordinator, but he is filling in for her. We leave the hotel about an hour later to head to Andrei's doctor's appointment which is needed to receive his visa. We see Dr. Boris. The first thing he says when he sees Andrei is he looks like he will be a Sumo wrestler when he grows up. He checks Andrei out in the buff. Doug says he heard him say that Andrei has two solid stones, but I didn't hear that at all, and I'm afraid to think in what connotation Doug is running toward with that comment. Dr. Boris left us with the advice of "These little ones find out very quickly that their crocodile tears will get you to pick them up, so if give in all the time you will be picking them up when he is 25!" Thank you Dr. Boris; we will note that great advice! :) We leave, drop Sergei off at the American Embassy, and our driver takes us to the supermarket where Doug buys Andrei enough food to last into next month. We have our Embassy appointment tomorrow at 11:30. Friday we are out of here! Even though Moscow is a much brighter place and I could have possibly stayed here for 16 days without about losing my mind, I am so ready to get home.

Here are some pictures from Krasnoyarsk, now that we are blessed with hi speed internet once again:
Here is the meat market. Notice the gloveless workers...
Here is the big ice slide in the ice sculpture park.
Doug going down the big ice slide on his back after trying to navigate it on his feet.
How we spent most of our time at the orphanage:
Beautiful smile!

Trip 2, Day 17

2011-03-01T07:21:00.000-06:00

I'm writing this post sitting in the lobby of the Courtyard Marriott where the free Wi-Fi is. I about cried last night when I saw our bed. It still has some Russian nuances, but it is the first time I've been in a place that even hints at screaming American.

Our translator and driver picked us up at our apartment yesterday at 6:00 to head to the airport. It's a good thing we left early because we needed it. Our handy dandy UTAIR airlines couldn't issue Andrei a boarding pass. I'm thinking at this point, "You have got to be kidding me. It took us over 30 minutes and 4 people last time to leave this 3rd world city. Is it all Americans or just us? The ticket lady calls her supervisor. We move out of line. The supervisor comes, looks at our itinerary, and makes a phone call to someone. Five minutes later he and our translator are conversing. Whatever she said isn't working. It appears we will have to go to the ticket window and get this resolved. Doug tells me to stay and watch our luggage which is just sitting on the conveyor belt. Our translator takes Andrei and Doug to the ticket window which basically is a tin booth across the lobby of the airport. This ticket booth does not operate very fast. They are at the window a long time--like 45 minutes long trying to get Andrei a boarding pass. It seems that this airline's computer system won't issue one the way our tickets were purchased. I'm watching Doug wipe the sweat off his forehead. Our translator brings Andrei back to me and says, "Come sit. This is going to take a while." Are you serious? "Yes." In a last ditch effort the lady looks up our itenirary by the number and figures out it is a companion ticket. They don't book it that way with their system. She leaves her post (with others behind Doug and our translator who are needing to pay their excessive baggage fee, but oh well.) She heads up some stairs with our papers in her hands. By now, our flight is boarding. I can't understand a thing that is being said over the intercom, but I know it is our plane that is about to take off. 15 minutes later the lady comes back down the stairs. Thankfully, she is able to put something into the computer, Doug pays $300 rubles, and we had back to the ticket lady to get our boarding passes. Now to navigate the absolutely non English speaking security. Elena can't go past the passport check point, so she is barking out instructions across the way (we're the only ones there). "Put on the blue booties!" "You don't need to pull all that stuff out of your bag!" Not the computer? Too late. "Michile, you go through the metal detector and then come back with Andrei. Doug you get everything into the plastic bins. No, your shoes go in the small one." I think I'm about to have a heart attack. We finally get everything back together, wave by, and head for the bus. It is full. So full that the doors will not close. Everyone sees Doug with our baby and no one offers to get off. I go back in and try to communicate that the bus is full. She doesn't understand. I take her to the window. She finally says, "Wait for 2nd bus." She goes out to get Doug. The full bus takes off and another one falls in line. We get on. We're the only ones on. It does not move. Did we get on the right one? We see some smokers come out. Good. They must be needing a smoke before getting on the bus to join us. They smoke and go back in. Now I'm really getting worried. Does the driver even know we're on here? I start stomping my feet so he knows someone is on the bus. Finally the smokers and the couple who had to pay the excessive baggage fee get on the bus. I'm breathing easier because I know that the excessive baggage couple is on our flight. We're the last ones on our plane, but we're on it. Andrei does really well. He sleeps in the middle seat for several hours. There was no passport control at Vnukonov Airport. I thought that was interesting. Maybe that's where all the trouble makers fly into...

Trip 2, Day 16

2011-02-28T04:56:00.002-06:00

We haven't ventured out of the apartment with Andrei since we arrived. The whole leaving the orphanage ordeal was way more than I could handle. Our coordinator and translator just left after giving us all his paperwork. They asked where his snow boots were for the airport (we don't have any), is he going to wear the snow suit (yes), did you get tights (no) what are you going to put under this footie thing (anything you think he should have)...sigh. Why is this such an issue? The poor kid is going to be sweating out his bazookie as it is without the tights and snowboots. He doesn't walk; we're not going to be putting him down anywhere, and we're not going hiking up the mountain with him any time soon. I'm tired, I'm ready to go home, and the Russian culture and I are starting to have its clashes. I'm grateful that I was able to experience it and to get to know Andrei's original home. It is an entirely different way of life than I ever really expected; perhaps I will write about it another time, but right now I need to be home and see my girls.

I'm finishing laundry tonight--last call for clean undies for Moscow, Dear. We're starting to think Andrei may be a laid back sort of guy. He's definitely not wired for a 220v like Kennedi. God knew what I needed and could handle.

Trip 2, Day 15

2011-02-27T04:45:00.003-06:00

No Sunday pictures. Internet was too slow to load them. I had such high hopes...Maybe when we get to Moscow. I'm so ready to leave here. Tomorrow Doug goes to get his passport, then we leave Tuesday night.

We've already seen such a change in Andrei. When we were at the orphanage and yesterday, all he'd crawl was 6 or 7 "steps" and then stop and sit. Today he's been all over this apartment--we've even had to "redirect" him a few times. He slept all night long. I think he got up around 7:00, but we didn't go get him, and we all fell back asleep until about 9:00. He took a 2 1/2 hour nap today, and another 1 hour nap this afternoon. Bedtime for him is 9:00PM--at least for now. We'll be changing that and few other "routines" he has going on. We've seen more smiles, and laughs today, and he's even clapping all by himself now. He's teething badly, and he's a heavy drooler. Drool and me don't share the same dance card. Right now his daddy is getting some big, deep belly laughs out of him. He has such a beautiful face when he's happy!

We HAD to give him a bath yesterday. It was a necessity for all of us if we were going to be in such close proximity to each other. Not sure what we were going to get, we put him in the bathroom sink. He had a jolly good time--no tears--and he managed to splash most of the water out, so Mom had quite a clean up job to do afterwards. We're moving to the tub tonight. I'm not sure when the last time he had a good bath, but the water was brown before we finished. There is still an (how do I say this nicely?) orphanage "funk" about his head, so he'll be getting another good scrubbin' tonight. We are thinking some of the challenge may be the fact that he is drinking alot more than he would have been at the orphanage, and those toxins in his little body are being released. Or, it could just be boy...

Trip 2, Day 14: Gotcha Day!

2011-02-26T00:01:00.001-06:00

Announcing...

Andrei Leo-Jack

This morning began with a trip to two legal offices to pick up the certificate of adoption and his birth certificate, and then we were off to the orphanage. Our translator says, "Last time today!" It was an overwhelming thought; I was mixed full of apprehension and excitement. We're fixing to take this little boy from everything he has ever known; I feel so much like a first time parent--both the baby and the parent are on the same learning curve! The director asks for his clothes that we are dressing him in. I know we are already in trouble when she asks for the "long underwear". Nyet. Boys don't wear tights I want to scream, but I just hand her his socks instead. She shrugs and takes our "American wear" to his room. When we finally see him, he looks so handsome. We are brought the photo album we left with him and a new toy that they are sending with us. I knew that it was a gift for us, so I didn't ask about them returning the lion we left. We will get another one as I'm sure it became community property after we left on our first trip. Our translator takes our video camera and films us trying to get this baby in this sweating hot snowsuit. She asks if we have his snow boots with us. I say no. She shakes her head in disapproval at the shoes I put on him. She tells us we're going to have to get his feet covered, so we cram his feet up into the legs of his snowsuit. We put his hat on and then I figure they will want the snowsuit hood on top of that as well, (why not???) but they all shake their heads--not the right thing to do either. (sigh). We head out, and Doug about gets run over by one of the orphanage workers by the door. She starts yelling something in Russian and points to his legs. One of his feet got free and she saw skin! Oh, the travesty! By this time, Doug and I are sweating so much from the challenges we're having just getting him out the the building. I'm trying to stay between Doug and this worker so she can't see his foot keep coming out of his snowsuit. She follows us out the door trying to get a glimps of any skin. We take a quick photo, but it's really not a happy moment then. We're both gritting our teeth and ready to get in the "safety" of our apartment. Once in the car our translator says we will have to get some tights on him when we go to the airport because the little old ladies will not leave us alone if they see any skin exposed on a child.

Andrei does really well with the car ride. No throw up! That's always a positive in my book. He checked out our oven and the chrome table legs on our table. He had his first Gerber meal. We warmed everything up in hot water; he had cauliflower, some kind of pureed meat and carrots, and peaches (which he loved!). I'm sure he doesn't get many fruits there. In fact, they told us that when they do get fruit, they take dried fruit and put it in boiling water to reconsititute it. He drank out of his first sippy cup with a straw! Yeah! He is such a smart boy! I told him his tea drinking days were over. He got his first "bedtime" story read to him by his daddy, and then Doug sang the same song to him he sings to our girls. We put him in his crib, and just decided to see what happens. Within 60 seconds, he was standing up. Doug kept saying, "night night." He just looked at him. I then said to him, "Spa-coin-a noche" (good night in Russian) and he starts crying! The boy understands Russian! Doug lays him back down, he cries for about 15 seconds, and falls asleep sucking his thumb. (Good thing that thumb is coming to Texas with us!) He's napping now--right on the orphanage schedule.

Doug is out trying to find some food for us. He's going to Kentucky Fried Chicken and hopefully they will serve it in some kind of to go box like home so he can bring me something. (I know, I know, I can't believe we haven't venture there before now myself.) If not, he's off in search of some deli we've heard several adoptive parents talk about.

It is a surreal feeling; I told Andrei that God had such a special plan for him. God didn't bring his parents all the way to Russia for him just to sit in flower garden. He will be used mightily in the kingdom of God, and I am so thankful that I get to be along for the ride!

Trip 2, Day 13

2011-02-25T09:04:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is the big day! The visit at the orphanage was a good one this morning. No tears, and only one episode of the "crying face." We were in the same room today with another American couple from Michigan who was adopting twin girls. We met together at Moma Romas for a late lunch. We got in trouble with the waitress as we were too loud.

We got to see where our little guy sleeps. All the children in his play group (14 of them) all sleep in one room. The room is lined with cribs, and the middle of the room has the toddler beds. The wanted us to stay and watch him eat so we'd know how much he was used to eating. I thought that was strange until I saw the "banquet" set before him. He had a huge bowl of soup, followed by pureed chicken liver and a huge mound of mashed potatoes. It was a huge amount of food. He drunk it all down with tea from his China cup. I think we're going to have to go back to the grocery store and get more food.

We're being picked up around 9:00AM to do some more paperwork, and then off to the orphanage! Please pray for our little guy--he has no idea what's about to happen to him, and pray that Doug and I will have the wisdom we need to parent this little boy.

Trip 2, Day 12

2011-02-24T02:00:00.000-06:00

Today was a surprise field trip to get our little boy's passport photo taken. We got to see first hand at how the Russians dress their little ones for the cold. First layer: tights and a onesie; second layer: button down long sleeve shirt and overalls; third layer: a sweatshirt; fourth layer: snow suit; fifth layer: a hat so thick and heavy it could keep a fully naked streaker warm in the Artic and snow boots that were about 10 sizes too big. Mind you, he doesn't walk, but he's prepared in case today is the day! So we picked up our 50 pound bundle of joy (NOT!), and our coordinator, translator, Doug, me, a very young caregiver from the orphanage and our little boy make a freakish break for the car parked only within a few steps of the orphange door. Ahhh...thanfully no frost bite set in. The photo place is archaic to say the least. They have their "victims" (excuse me, customers) posted all over the room. We decide they all look like Ma and Pa Kettle from 1890. Does anyone smile around here? When we got back to the orphanage, the rest of our visit was spent mainly with him crying. He was not a happy camper at all today. As a side note, after we had arrived this morning, we were taking off our coats in the director's office, and she was telling our translator that our little boy had been happy and laughing all morning. Lena translates for us, and then adds chuckling, "Of course, he hasn't seen you yet!"

At straight up 12:00, a caregiver comes and get him. We go downstairs to get our coats and then walk out. The other day the door to the room where our little boy spends the majority of his time was open as we left. Doug saw him in a giant playpen with 4 other babies. This must make up his "play group" we were told about. He was also down to the onesie and tights, which makes us think that the clothes he wears for us are for "the show" (aka: his Sunday best) and then they shuck them as soon as he gets back. We're supposed to be able to take pictures of where he sleeps and eats before we leave; maybe tomorrow or Saturday before we pick him up.

OK, you know things are mundane when I have to blog about the tv around here, so here goes. It's all in Russian, and it's pretty much filled with half naked women doing things with their bodies that they weren't designed to do, so we have it off most of the time. What's rather amusing is the two sports channels. They show a lot of US college basketball games. You can hear the American announcers in the back ground of the voice over in Russian. Lots of skiing and hockey played on tv too. They have a music video channel with interesting music. They have one song titled I Was Drunk and the entire video has this baby Hitler boy in it. He's a little blonde haired baby that they have put one of those "Hitler" moustaches on. I have a picture, but sadly, it's not Sunday. My favorite channel though is the exercise channel. I've mentioned before that we have seen very few overweight Russians here. Turns out, they hang out on the exercise channel. American TV only has skinny and very fit people doing their workouts because, as we all know, if you buy this workout dvd, you too can have a body that looks like this. In Russia they prefer the more realistic approach and aren't making promises to anybody about anything. It's very refreshing if you ask me; America could do with a serious dose of reality. It's the same set all day long for every workout. Every exercise show has 4 people in the same position on the same 4 purple exercise mats. In America the instructors wear dark clothes to hide the sweat, but not so here. I was watching this one show and the head dude was in a light red shirt and grey shorts and his clothes were wringing with sweat--around the neck, down his chest, all over his back, down the hiney crack--you get the picture. It was everywhere. I can imagine the director saying, "Work eeet--work eeet! Theee women looove to see sweeet!" I saw another "exercise" program (I say exercise rather loosely) that showcased belly dancers doing their thing with the finger cymbals. Over and over and over all they did was clang their fingers in some 6 beat rhythm. Sometimes on their feet, some times on their knees, and sometimes in criss cross applesauce, but that's all they did. What's sadder? The fact that I watched it for over 20 minutes or that I'm telling you about it?

Trip 2, Day 11

2011-02-23T02:00:00.001-06:00

The "new" of Krasnoyarsk has faded. The days are getting really long. We've started to adjust to the time change, and we're able to sleep to around 7:00 in the mornings now. We'd probably sleep longer, but the workers start scraping and shoveling the ice then, and it is quite loud. They use shovels made entirely out of wood. I have a picture, but our 3G internet (I'm starting to think it may by a lower case g...) doesn't have enough get up and go to post pictures any time except Sunday mornings. There are no blizzards around here. It is too cold to snow very much. They get light dustings quite often, but that is about it. Our American friends said they will get a big snow at the beginning of winter and again near spring when the temps start to stay around only freezing. So, they workers actually sweep the snow off the sidewalks with these witch's brooms or scrap the packed snow which turns to ice with their shovels.

The excitement around here is enough to set my hair on fire. Our typical routine consists of getting up, fixing our instant coffee (thank the Lord I brought powdered creamer from home), and reading some. We shower and then wait for Lena to call about 9:45 to say that she is downstairs waiting for us. We head to the orphanage and usually get back around 12:30 or so. Lena drops us off somewhere, we eat lunch, and usually just go to the grocery store to grab water and stuff to munch on, and then head back "home." We use the afternoon to read, email, blog. We usually eat supper around 6:00 or so (instant soups, spaghetti, etc) and about 7:00 we begin watching a DVD we brought from home. We've watched everything we've brought, so we are now on reruns. We Skype our girls either in the morning or evening--whenever we have the best internet connection. We then are off to our bed in the town of Bedrock. Did I mention everything in our apartment is Flintstone quality? My rear is numb from sitting in our chairs; our bed/pillows are made from remenants of cement. Surely our Marriott hotel in Moscow will have big fluffy pillows and comfortable chairs. And that folks, is about as exciting as it gets around here. Doug thinks this reminds him of college. I think it could be worse. I am so grateful of our new American friends who got us out of this monotony for 3 days this past week. I will say though that as bored as we are and as much as I miss my girls, I am thankful that we have been here. Our little boy is getting used to us before he is turned loose with us, and I can't imagine trying to deal with the jet lag associated with a 13 hour time difference and handling him at the same time.

I was getting tired of waiting on Doug to get dressed this morning...he's worse than a girl sometimes, and he looked at me and said, "We're in Siberia. Does 10 minutes really matter?" Point taken my dear.

It is freezing cold here today. The cold from Moscow has finally arrived, but today called for shopping as we don't have many free days left. We went back to the children's clothing store and got our girls some beautiful knit hats. We then headed for the ice slides. I have a picture of Doug going down it, but it's not Sunday, so you can't see a picture of it yet...By now my fingers are so frozen they are throbbing in pain, so we go into our favorite bar/restaurant to eat lunch. Our next stop is the souvinier shop. We realize we got taken big time on our first trip when we bought some stuff at the airport--it was like paying $10 for a hotdog at a ball park.

Saturday is the big day! I can't tell if the judge counted the weekends in our 10 days or not. Do they count the day of court as Day 1 or not? Do they count "pick up" day as day 10? The Krasnoyarsk court system doesn't have a suggestion box, but if it did, I would suggest moving their adoption court cases to Thursday or Friday--that way the parents wouldn't get caught on the weekend. Even though we pick him up on Saturday, we are in limbo around here until Monday when we can apply for his passport.

Trip 2, Day 10

2011-02-22T04:07:00.000-06:00

No tears today!!!! He had several episodes of making his crying face, but then he'd stop. It was really quite comical. More of his personality is coming out, and we've decided he is all boy. His favorite thing to do by far is clang the stacking cups together or beat them on other toys to make noise. He also pulled himself to standing, and we've watched him crawl on all fours, but he doesn't go very far when he does. It's almost like he has this invisible boundary he doesn't cross. We were asked not to visit tomorrow because it is a national holiday here--something similar to our veterans day maybe. It is freezing cold here today (-17) and it's expected to be even colder this week--should have got all our running around they day it was +32 degrees the other day!

Eating around here is interesting. I find it amusing that there is so much Italian food. Pizza is everywhere! I think our favorite place so far is this bar several blocks from here. They don't speak English there, but they have menu with pictures, so we do the pick and point thing. Doug ordered a close cousin to American fajitas the other day, and they were really, really good. I think I like that place so much because they play 60s, 70s, and early 80s American music on the video screen. I've seen Boy George, Cyndi Lauper, Jefferson Starship, the Supremes, Roy Orbinson.... Why they play it in English when no one there speaks it is beyond me, but I think I could stay there all afternoon and just sit. I can't believe how "relaxing" it is to listen to something I can understand.

We've found some interesting Lays potato chips around here. They have crab flavor, bacon flavor, and green onion flavor--we're talking serious green onion flavor. They have these instant soups we've been living on at night that taste like liquid Stove Top Stuffing. Delish!!! The glasses are small by American standards. It doesn't matter if it is a coffee cup or a water glass--and heaven forbid drink your bottled water out of the bottle--you pour it into a glass. They are all small sizes. There are no "to-go" cups to be had. No body walks around with any food or drink in their hands. The restaurant portions are smaller too. We've found it interesting that we have seen very few overweight Russians here. Hmmm....

The gum here is substandard Doug says. I wouldn't know; I don't chew it. He says it's tougher and doesn't last as long as what you'd buy in the states--even the American brands like Wrigley. They don't have a lot candy around here. We have yet to find an aisle filled with hard candy like in the US. What they do have, however, is chocolate. And it is good stuff!!

We went to this place called Micks the other day. It's like a Furrs Cafeteria. No one speaks English, and I had no idea what I was picking out to eat. I think this was pretty authentic Russian type food here. I chose some kind of salisbury looking meat with sauce and I chose red sauce to go on top. I won't be going with the red sauce again--not a good move on my part. I was not crazy about it at all, but we both ate for a total of $10 US!

The Russians eat later than we do. Their typical lunch hour is from about 1:30-2:30PM. We were always eating around noon, and the restaurants were empty. I thought no body ate out. Then one day we got back from the orphanage late, and didn't get out to eat until nearly 2:00. It was packed. They expect you to take off your coat and hang it up on a coat rack. It is not kosher to keep it at your chair. I was in Moma Romas today, and our waitress explained to me in Russian that there was a coat rack to hang my coat. It was packed with coats, so I just kept it on my chair. She came by several times and pointed to the hangars. When one opened up, I put my coat there. I then turn around, and she's taken Doug's into her own hands and is putting it up. I never would have imagined that sitting with your coat at the table would require a Zantac! :)

By the way, Doug can't keep his hands off my Snoopy puzzle that he scoffed at before we left the states! LOL

Trip 2, Day 9

2011-02-21T03:00:00.001-06:00

We visited the orphanage this morning. Things are getting better. He's feeling better, and he only cried a few times this time. He even laughed with Doug a few times! Yeah!

We attended church yesterday with our American friends. It was at a Russian Baptist Church--not to be confused with the Southern Baptists back home. It was all in Russian, but our friends translated it for us. They even had a few songs that we were familiar with! Since we were visitors, they gave us the New Testament Bible--it looks like a little Gideon Bible but in Russian! It will be an experience that we won't forget. They then took us to the market area. That was a sight to see. It was like a giant flea market except it was full of fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, fish, and fresh chickens and beef. They even have home canned vegetables for sale that the booth owners made themselves. No, they don't use Kerr or Mason jars. It was basically any ole empty jar with a lid. At the beef area, they actually cut the meat in front of you that morning. The giant axes were still out from the day's "kill." Customers go along, touch and finger the meat, and then put their gloves back on. The workers handle to raw meat with their bare hands, hand you your change with the same hands, and move on to the next customer. Needless to say, we didn't buy any of that--but we did opt for oranges and baked walnuts with the help of our "interpreters!" I have a picture of us at one of the meat counters, but I can't upload if today...maybe tomorrow.

I washed a load of clothes yesterday. I was out of undies--Doug said he wasn't and I didn't want to know why not....We think there are a lot of minerals in the water. A lot! There isn't a dryer here, so that doesn't help. But literally, my underwear can stand up on its own. Our clothes feel like they've been turned to sandpaper. Doug's shirt sleeves are so stiff the sleeves stick out. My white socks aren't so white any more. After just one washing, they are a dingy yellow white color. It's so bad that we have resigned ourselves to keeping our dirty stuff around just a bit longer because it's still soft! :) In fact, Doug is bit perturbed with me now because I washed some socks of his that were "just getting broken in."

How many wheels on the sidewalk does it take to park your car? One or two?

Trip 2, Day 8

2011-02-20T03:52:00.004-06:00

When I'm sutdying my Bible this morning, I felt led to read Psalm 68. I'm diddty-boppin- along and come to verses 5-6:

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families."

I don't know how those who struggle with infertility feel--I can only imagine the pain, frustration, and void in their hearts. We, however, did not enter this adoption needing to fill a void in our lives (at least not me anyway.) We had two beautiful, healthy girls, and if that was all we'd ever have, we'd be satisfied and feel blessed--boy or not. But it was God who began knocking on the door of our hearts years ago--it was Him who put a desire to go "get" a little one without a father and give him a home--our home.

I realized that this adoption was so much bigger than simply a way for Doug and me to add to our family. I am truly humbled that God would use us to give one of His little ones a family. That he would turn my heart, which had never been moved towards adoption (oh, it was a great thing for others to do, but it wasn't for me) and fill me with a desire that was contrary to my flesh. To bring us to a foreign nation in search of a boy--thinking in the back of our minds we'd choose Russia because this boy--whomever he was--would look like us--and finding that our package was not wrapped as we had envisioned.

No one can tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor! For those of you who don't know, after Kennedi was born, Doug kept bugging me about when we were going to have another one. He told me he saw a picture of our family, and there was a little boy in it. I, who was in no way ever going to get pregnant again, said to him one day, "I hope that boy in your picture is Chinese because that's the only way it's going to happen." And as a testimony to the power of your words, our little boy has Asian features. I am in awe at how God has melted my feelings of apprenhension towards adoption years ago, and He has opened our hearts to a little boy who isn't going to look at all like my Polish side of the family! I look at my husband who has tears in his eyes when he talks about what beautiful skin our son has or how straight his knees are (he's thinking football I know!). God has given Doug a son, and He has given us the opportunity to experience just a small taste of what He must feel when He adopted us when it says, "Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ..." Eph 1: 4-5.

I don't have everything figured out; even since we've gotten here, I've wondered on several occasions if we have fallen off our rockers by doing all this, and the stress of the unknown of bringing this little "stranger" into our home scares the wildfire out of me some minutes of the day. I do know that God will use our story and our family to further His purpose, that our cup will runneth over with blessings because of our willingness to be obedient, and I know that I can do all things through Christ.

Trip 2, Day 7

2011-02-19T02:00:00.000-06:00

Here's how the orphanage visit went today:
Happy Birthday to you (waaaaah)
Happy Birthday to you (waaaaah)
Happy Birthday dear ????? (louder waaaaah)
Happy Birthday to you (waaaaah)

(sigh)...Still crying, but I think we're down to about 70% of our visit now. We even managed to get a belly laugh out of him before we left. But as soon as he stopped laughing, he started crying again. It's like he's having a good time and then realizes he's not supposed to be. We saw him crawl on all fours just a bit today.

We had an incredible blessing today. We have been in contact with some Americans living over here, and they picked us up today and we had lunch at their home this afternoon. It was so nice to get away from our apartment and have a conversation in English. Unfortunately they are Green Bay Packer fans and not Cowboy fans, but I won't hold it too much against them as the food we ate was the best we've had in 7 days!! Doug is already trying to brainwash their children to thinking University of Oklahoma is the best. Thank you guys for a wonderful afternoon!! :)

Trip 2, Day 6

2011-02-18T01:59:00.005-06:00

We got to visit our little boy today! He's is still on antibiotics, and he still feels yucky, but at least we got to see him. 90% of our time today was spent with him crying (again). He loved everybody in the room except us! As soon as our coordinator or translator would speak Russian, he'd whirl around and look for them. Before we left, however, we played "airplane" with him, and we Americans finally got him to laugh. He has such a beautiful face when he laughs. He is very sullen looking when he isn't smiling. I'm starting to be amused by it. The director assured us again today that he is usually a very happy and smiling baby! Our coordinator is calling the head orphanage lady in charge this afternoon to see if we can visit tomorrow since it is his birthday. We don't have anything planned, but we will make up for it some time after we get home! :)

The weather is extremely warm today-- a big 37 degrees so far this afternoon. You'd never know it from looking at everyone though. Everybody still has his coat buttoned or zipped all the way up (unlike me), everybody still has on a hat (unlike me), and everybody is still wearing gloves (unlike me). Doug is really into the Russian culture as he looks just like them bundled up except today he put the "ears" of his Elmer Fudd hat up instead of letting them drop down like a Beagle puppy. On a personal note, I hate his hat...We step into our apartment and start sweating. Actually, we walk around here half dressed because it's so hot in here. We bought some chocolate. It melts in our apartment. There is this black sooty stuff everywhere you walk. It gets on the bottom of your shoes and makes such a mess all over the floors. They constantly have people with their mops cleaning it up. Doug thinks it's from the coal chimney scrubbers they have around here. No EPA around here that's for sure! At any rate, today with temps above freezing, it is quite nasty walking around. I can't imagine what it is like in the spring when serious thawing occurs.

We bought the girls some super cute shirts today--lots of bling--Kennedi's kind of style. I hope they fit. Their sizes are nothing like in the US. All the sales ladies ask us how high they are and then show us the growth chart. I still can't figure it out and I've been to three stores now. I think we'll go back later next week and get them some knit hats that were absolutely cute--don't wanna do too much shopping in one day...

Every time we talk to the girls, Annsley asks why I'm not speaking Russian. I mean, I'm in Russia after all! I have some great pictures to share, but Blogger, our internet, and me are still going round and round. Maybe later!

Trip 2, Day 5

2011-02-17T02:13:00.004-06:00

Our translator called last night; our little boy is still sick and we don't get to see him again...maybe Friday. (sigh) It's hard to understand that he is not officially ours until the 10 day wait is over, so nobody cares that we want to see him...It's a balmy 19 degrees this afternoon, and it has snowed all morning long. It's really an amazing thing walking around here. Just about daily there is at least a dusting of snow during the night. You walk on top of several inches of ice, but it's really not that slippery because there is always snow powder on top of it.

We walked several blocks down from our apartment and found what would be considered "main street" area. The city plays music over loud speakers in this part of town. We heard the theme from Dr. Zhivago (how appropriate)! They have some serious decorative lighting going on over the streets there. I don't know if it's lit up all year round at night or it's just left over from the holiday (they still have their huge city Christmas tree up). We only get out once a day, and trying to spread to fun out over 10 days, we've been limiting our "sightseeing" to just a little each day. Sometimes, it's just to a restuarant for lunch and the grocery store for our daily supply of bottled water. (Yesterday we did a very unRussian thing and bought 2 big jugs of water...oh--living on the edge!:) I've finally been able to figure out how "still" is spelled in Russian; they seem to really like sparkling water over here. There is a lot of it; I have, by mistaken, chosen that bottle, and when I was brushing my teeth I looked like a rabid dog before I was finished.

I've been amazed at the ratio of Mercedes, Lexus, Land Rovers over here. Either free enterprise is doing rather well over here (and I think it is) or the prices aren't eaten up in tarriffs, but really, you see them everywhere--along with the 1960s Beetle Bug vans, old army Mash looking trucks and Ford looking Pintos of course. The cars park however. I don't think they have painted lanes for cars to park; some are parked parallel; others are parked at a 90 degree angle right next to them. Some park on the sidewalk. (More than you would think--it's not an isolated incident!) I'll leave you with a photo from today: (well, maybe not...Blogger and our internet aren't cooperating right now.)

Trip 2, Day 4

2011-02-16T03:21:00.005-06:00

So I got in bad trouble today by the grocery store manager. The grocery stores here are tiny to say the least. There are no big boxes, bags, bottles of anything to be had. No 12 MegaRolls of toilet paper--only a 4 pack (and the toilet paper over here leaves something to be desired. I bought Kleenex brand (no, I'm not at wiz at reading the cryillic alphabet--it said Kleenex on the wrap)It's 3 ply but it feels like it's been sprayed with starch. Not cushy on the tushy let's just say...) No gallon of milk, no 104 pack of diapers, etc. Everything is small size. I didn't really understand why until we got this apartment. We're on the 4th floor--no elevator--and after the first trip to the grocery store which is about 2 blocks away, I fully understood why small is in. #1: You try lugging your 96 load jug of Tide along with your 2 gallons of milk and family pack of hamburger up four flights of stairs...#2: Once you get your items into your apartment, you have no room to store it--literally. Our kitchen has 3 cabinets. Take away one for the dishes, that leaves 2. Take away another for your skillet and pots and pans. That leaves one for your goodies. I'm guessing everyone goes to the store every day or every other day around here. There would be no way you could do once a week shopping. So, back to the grocery store manager...I decided this morning that I just had to get some pictures of the grocery store. Not so much because of the items they had, but rather because of the size of the items they did have. Not a good idea. The manager was mad! I didn't understand a word he said except for "nyet" (NO) and his pantomine of using a camera, but I got the message loud and clear. I almost thought he was going to haul me off to the "policia." So, I have only one grocery store picture to share and then I had my own little Vanna hold up our box of laundry detergent.
This is the selection of veggies available. The fruit section is just as "big". This is as far as I made it before my camera about got confiscated.

This is laundry detergent. It's about the size of a small box of automatic dish detergent back home. And no, it is not concentrated. One cup will still do a load.
(Yes, Doug is wearing a t-shirt. It's -3 outside, but it's 85 in our apartment!) Our coordinator didn't call this morning, so our little boy is still sick. Hoping we get to visit him tomorrow!

Trip 2, Day 3: COURT!

2011-02-15T02:17:00.006-06:00

The judge said YES! Now we have the 10 day waiting period and can pick him up Saturday the 26th!

It turned cold again during the night--something like -20 when we left our apartment this morning. I didn't realize how nice those +10 temps had been! We arrive at the courthouse at around 9:15AM. Doug is armed with his index cards of notes since he'll be having to answer the majority of the questions. The court house is not like that in the US where you have people walking in and going wherever they need to. Here you check in with the "guard" and then sit in the waiting area for whomever it is you are waiting on. The court secretary comes to get us about 9:45, we all run through a turn stile and metal detector, and then head up a flight of stairs, down a long hall, and down a flight of stairs, and into the court room. Doug, I, and our translator sit at a table facing the judge's bench. At another table is a representative from MOE and the psychologist from the orphanage. The prosecutor comes in dressed head to toe in a light blue military looking suit and sits near the judge's bench. The court secretary sits to the side of the judge's bench. And so we wait for the judge to appear. Then I notice the bars at the side of the court room. This is where the criminals go during their court appearances. They are literally in a cell inside the court room. It is very intimidating to say the least.

The judge comes in and we all stand. Doug and I each have to state our names, occupations, birth dates, and address. Then we submit our photo album and medicals and state that we elect our translator to translate for us. Then the "interview" begins. The questions are mainly for Doug. He does a great job, and I am thankful they want him to do most of the talking! The judge and prosecutor go through their questions which takes about an hour. Then I get my turn; I only get about 5 questions and then our part is over. The lady from MOE goes through the parental background of our little boy and how he came to be in the orphanage. Then the psychologist from the orphanage describes our meeting with him yesterday and gives her recommendation for him to be adopted. We then all leave the room except for the judge and wait in the hall for about 5 minutes. We're called back in, and the judge announces that she believes it would be in the best interest of our little boy for him to go home with us!

The orphange doesn't want us to visit him today since he is sick. Our coordinator will call us in the morning if we can go see him tomorrow. I'm just in awe thinking about how this judge's decision has changed the course of this little boy's life.

Outside the Krasnoyarsk Court House after our court appointment!

On a side note, I think we're getting the hang on the Russian way of sitting around at the restaurant table for quite a while after you finish eating. We've decided that we really don't have anything else to do in this frozen tundra!

Trip 2, Day 2

2011-02-14T01:14:00.007-06:00

Our coordinator and translator picked us up at 7:45 this morning. Our day started with our 8 doctor medical. Our experience was quite different than others that I've read who have had theirs done in Moscow or St. Petersburg. From what I've read, you go to one medical building and see all the doctors there. Such a place doesn't exist in Krasnoyarsk. Ours started with the drug and alcohol rehab doctor across town. So, armed with SeaBands and ginger candy, I kept my eyes closed all in attempt to keep from getting car sick this time. We finally reach this place, go in, and our coordinator takes our passports--why I don't know but we don't ask questions. We are escorted into this small room with a guy in a white lab coat sitting behind a desk. He does not smile. We are asked only a few questions. "What your occupation? How long has it been since you last drank alcohol? Do you need a drink of alcohol in the morning if you've had a drink at night? What is your favorite type of alcohol? Have you ever used drugs?" He signs some papers and we leave. Now we're off to the psychiatrist. I keep my eyes closed during the car ride. Doug tells me it's a good thing. All I know is I'm still not carsick and if I don't have to watch us play tag with other cars, that's OK by me. The psychiatrist's office is a hopping place. I can only wonder why in my brain, but believe me the hall was packed. There is no such things as waiting rooms like in the US. Lining the hall, there are benches beside each door, and you sit there until it's time to go into your room. We finally get to go in our door, and there is a lady sitting behind a desk in a white lab coat. She is much more friendlier than the first one. She asks us what our occupations are and wants us to tell a little about ourselves. We do and she signs some papers. Next on the list is the oncologist and so forth. And so it is with our 8 doctor medical.

We then head to the orphanage. Our little boy is sick. He has gotten taller we think and has started to thin out a bit. Our hour is spent mainly with him crying whenever Doug tries to play with him or pick him up. We have some delightful footage of big ole crocodile tears streaming down his face while Doug is carrying him. All he wants is for me to hold him. It is a totally different scenario than when we were here the first time. He doesn't want to play; he wants to be held. He eventually falls asleep on my shoulder. We go to the director's office and ask any more questions and get his schedule for the day. It is amazing. I'll share it some time later. By the way, he has had his hair cut. I'm not impressed at at; Doug thinks it looks awesome, but come on, how can you give an 11 month old a buzz??????

Our coordinator and translator drop us off at Moma Roma's for lunch; we get the pictures we the took at orphanage today developed to hand to the judge tomorrow, and later this afternoon they stopped by the apartment to go over what to expect at court. We are being picked up tomorrow at 9:00 AM. Our translator reminded us that we are the only country who is still using AM and PM--and feet and gallons. We have our judge's first court appointment in the morning at 9:30 (8:30 PM CST Monday). Please be in prayer with us that we will be found favorable in her eyes.

We're Here!

2011-02-12T22:12:00.004-06:00

We made it to our apartment about 8:00AM Sunday (Krasnoyarsk time). We were serenaded in the car to that techno disco beat stuff they play around here, and we were exposed once again to the "speed-pull out in front of oncoming traffic-and duck back into your lane" driving technique that seems to be perfected and expected around here. It's actually warmer here than it was when we we're here in December--a lot warmer. That's good since we're fixing to make our way to the grocery store to by some supplies--I feel like I'm camping.

Our flight from Houston to Frankfurt were on Lufthansa. Very nice--I'd fly them again in a heartbeat. Hot wet towels before a meal, real silverware, real butter, and they actually turn out the lights and it's dark on the plane--and while the Russians seem to like their vodka, it appears that Germans like their wine. Wine was offered before the meal, during the meal, and after the meal. Red or white? The flight attendants just walked up and down the aisle with the bottles refilling as needed. After the meal, an attendant walks down the aisle selling cigarettes--but you can't have that after dinner smoke on the airplane, so I'm not sure what the reasoning behind that one it...

I think we spent $48 on 2 coffees and 2 muffins at Frankfurt Airport (I haven't done the exchange rate on Euros yet, but that is what Doug tells me we spent. How he knows I don't know...) Anyway, I promptly spilled my cup of mocha all over an unsuspecting French Canadian and her suitcase and so I hardly got to enjoy my overpriced purchase. Our gate was moved to what I'll refer to as the dungeon part of Frankfurt Airport--it was on the ground floor, no windows except for the giant revolving door which led you to none other than the busses. Yes, Frankfurt particpates in the same terminal to bus program just like Russian airports do. What is with all these European airports and not having enough catwalks for everyone to enjoy?

We flew into DMO airport this time. I don't know if it was because of the recent bombing attack or not, but security was so much tighter and guards with guns and big sticks were walking every where. Smoking is not permitted in the airport except in the "smoking" rooms. The smokers are supposed to go into a designated room with doors and to their thing there. These rooms have glass windows, and the smoke is so thick I have no idea how anybody can walk out of there myself. You literally look into that room and just see pillows of dark gray clouds. There are a few rebels however who choose to smoke outside the room; security is never called. I'm pretty sure they were "smokin' in the boys' room" too because when I walked past the bathroom door there was just this thick haze pouring out of the door. Noone seems to care that the rules are being broken.

Our airline that flew us to Krasnoyarsk was head to toe Sonic green. Not just any green. We're talking lime--glow in the dark lime with either a hot pink or bright red spot on the tail. The fleet parked out in the middle of the runway (which we were bussed to, of course!) looked like it was radioactive. I'll leave you with a
picture because I wouldn't have believed it myself.

These lucky people got to enjoy the catwalk to their plane ride:

We, however, got to brave the elements in order to board our own neon plane. I have pictures, but Blogger isn't loading them right now.

We're being picked up at 7:45 in the morning as we have a busy day--visit to the orphanage, 8 doctor medical, prepping for court! (Again, I apologize for spell check--it's not working in English...)

Twas the Night Before Departure

2011-02-10T21:47:00.007-06:00

New tickets are booked for tomorrow--we're just waiting to get the email confirmation. We are assessed a penalty for changing, but at least we don't have to pay for brand new flights. What an expensive piece of paper! (aka The FedEx Fiasco). We left the house yesterday in such a hurry since we had to swing by the FedEx office on the other end of town the morning after our 40 mph blizzard that I forgot to pack several things. We have actually repacked tonight and have gotten rid of an entire suitcase. Can you say amen on that one! Thank you whomever invented compression bags! Little boy has way more stuff than either of us, but that is OK. I'd rather have too much of his stuff since we're heading into unknown territory with him. My girls are with their Mimi tonight. I already miss them terribly. The house is so quiet. But I am thankful that I got to go with them to their Valentine Party this afternoon and spend another day with them.

It's rather strange. Doug and I feel such a peace about leaving tomorrow compared to how we were feeling Tuesday and Wednesday. We were both topped out on the wigged out scale. It's so weird thinking that the next time I walk through our door, we'll have a new little boy with us, and the life we have come to know will be no longer. It's bittersweet and yet so exciting to think what God has in store for us, our family, and our new little boy.

We are so thankful for everyone who has been praying for us; it's so unbelievably comforting to know that. We are blessed beyond measure with awesome friends, family, blog friends and strangers who care about us!

The FedEx Saga

2011-02-09T15:36:00.003-06:00

We're still here...in Texas...at our home...Continental Flight CO32 left without us this afternoon.

We've been waiting on that home study "addendum" our judge requested to get back to our house. The weather has been absolutely crazy in Texas. It all started Monday, January 31 when our home study agency FedEx'd it to us. It didn't arrive until Thursday! Dallas was shut down with their ice storm. I race to FedEx Thursday afternoon and overnight it to Austin to our courier to get apostilled. It doesn't get to the courier until late Monday afternoon--too late to get it to the Secretary of State's office. Austin was having their ice storm. Our courier dropped it off at FedEx on Tuesday morning, and all things well it should have been here Wednesday morning, just in time for us to head to the airport. Enter our blizzard. I could tell by the tracking that it wasn't going to be at our house by 10:30am, so I called to get it held at the FedEx office to pick up. We were thinking the worse case scenario would be we would have to go ahead to the airport and get checked in, and a brave friend of our would go to FedEx, pick it up, and hand deliver it to us at the airport before we boarded. The FedEx truck actually made it to town this morning, but there were snow drifts in the parking lot, and the truck could not be unloaded. It was sitting in the street until the snow could be moved. We asked if they could just get on the truck and get our little envelope. No. Can you at least try to get the truck into the parking lot? No.

Could we at least bring a scanned/faxed copy of it to court? Our agency's Russian office basically said don't come to Russia without the orginal apostilled document. So, we head off this morning at 10:30 to the FedEx office hoping that by the time we got there they'd have the snow removed and we could get our document and still get to the airport on time. No. The snow removal crew was called at 4:00am, but they still hadn't shown up. We saw the truck in the street. So close. We begged. We considered hiring someone to come move the snow for them. At 11:30 we knew we weren't going to make our flight; there was actually a later Contintental flight we could take, but it would only give us 30 minutes to make our connection and we have to change terminals in Houston, so the chances of us missing our flight to Germany was pretty great and we'd still be stuck in the same position we were except without a bed to sleep in tonight. We change our flights tentatively to Friday to arrive in Kras on Sunday now. We go and eat, and stop by FedEx before heading home. Hallelujah! They are moving the snow. It will be approximately 2 hours before they will have our package scanned and ready to be picked up. We head home. I take a nap. I am emotionally drained. Our agency is letting our coordinator in Kras know our new schedule and to see if we can get all our appointments completed on Monday now--the day before court. We should hear something back tonight or in the morning. Fed Ex just called and our package is ready for pick up. We'll head over through the frozen tundra to pick it up before heading to church for tonight.

Part of me is frustrated and the other part of me is thinking, "I have two more days with my girls." I've been doing a lot of crying this week thinking about leaving them. I knew it was going to be difficult; I just didn't really know.

With our new schedule, we are going back through our bags and taking only the bare minimum. We were already planning to wear our clothes 2-3 times before washing--except the underwear--I have to have clean underwear--Doug, well he could go days I'm sure on one pair--but after hauling all the stuff to the car this morning, we're pairing down even more. Our court clothes is what's taking up so much room!!! That and Doug's shoes and baby clothes and baby bottles and baby blanket, and girls' dresses for the orphanage.... (A big huge thank you to all of you who donated!! We are taking nearly 30 dresses to bless the orphanage with!!)

A Little Potpourri

2011-02-03T10:18:00.004-06:00

Last call for baby girl dresses! Doug and I thank all of you who have wanted to bless our little boy's orphanage! Now I have to find out a way to get them packed! :)

The thought of leaving in 7 days is starting to wig me out to say the least. How's my list going? Great! It keeps getting longer every day--not shorter. It's having a grand time--me, not so much. Being gone for 3 weeks is considerably different than being gone a week--and I just thought that was bad. I didn't know how good I had it. I decided last night that I am now going to concentrate on one area at a time. So, the next few days will only be consumed with stuff to be in Russia. I will then move on to getting the girls' stuff ready while we're gone, then the baby stuff into Kennedi's room, and finally getting my house clean. I know what you're thinking, but I have to do the whole house cleaning thing. It's inbred in me--blame my mother.

Today is the first day without -25 wind chill. The -3 temps we had this morning actually felt a bit balmy if I don't say so. It's amazing how your perception will change. Doug asked me the other morning if I wanted to volunteer to help his teachers out with morning duty so I could try out my new coat. Uhmmmm..."Thank you Doug for asking me to be a vital part of your science experiment, but NO!" The weather is playing havoc with my online orders, Visas, and that little home study "update" that hasn't arrived yet. The home study update was sent out Monday Fed Ex from Dallas and never made it any further until last night. It should be here today and maybe the Visas will be here today or tomorrow at the latest. Amazon sent me an email letting me know that two of my orders are delayed because of the storm. Those were filled with baby stuff--frustrating to say the least.

Our little boy already has two pieces of clothing that our girls didn't have at 12 months old. I bought a snow suit off Ebay for $4.99--I think it's been worn once--it looks brand new. And he has a pair of shoes. My girls were literally barefoot until about 15 or so months. Even to church--barefoot little princesses they were. I figure the Russians might frown on the the whole "just socks" issue, so I found the cutest little shoes for him to sport while in country.

Aren't they adorable?!!

Chisle Hammer Anyone?

2011-01-31T20:35:00.006-06:00

I keep adding as many things onto my list as I mark off, but some big things that have gotten checked off:

Domestic flights in Russia--booked! Utair Air and Vnukovo Airport, here we come! :)

Blood work--given. That was rather interesting. We are told it is best if we can bring blood work to the 8 doctor medical, but there is no "official" list of what to bring. So, here Doug and I are at the lab this morning, going down the blood work list like we were at the meat counter ordering steaks for a party. "Too expensive--take too long to get the results--why would Russia want to know ....(fill in the blank)? Well, would they? Does that disqualify me if the results come back too low/too high?? And so the delima went on. I'm guessing if it's not what they want, we'll just get stuck with the needle in Krasnoyarsk. (sigh)

Hotel in Moscow--booked! And a big-huge-score on that one! When we started this adoption process, we opened a rewards credit card. We don't use credit cards--too much trouble you can get into--but we agreed to keep it paid off and only put on the card what we would regularly spend anyway. We were thinking about getting an airline rewards card. When I found out that it would take 100,000 points for each of us, I knew that wasn't happening. I'm not sure I could find enough to charge in 5 years to get to that figure let alone a year. So, we opted for a Marriott Rewards Visa. We were given 20,000 points for opening it. The hotels in Moscow are outrageous--$300 US dollars and up per night, and it's not even the busy season (who in the world wants to go to Russia in the winter by choice????). I've heard Marriott gives an adoption rate, but I don't know how much that saves you as I didn't call to find out. We were short 7,000 points of the needed 60,000 to have all 3 nights covered for free. Never fear--Marriott Rewards lets you buy up to 50,000 points per year at only $12.50 per 1000 points. So, we are staying in Moscow for 3 nights for $87.50!! That is saving us $1000! That's a big Texas WHOO HOO!

I've been picking up entertainment to entertain ourselves on the 10 day wait. I've been told by another family that the only English speaking channel is ESPN and it's filled with hockey. Gag! I've got DVDs ready. I actually took some on the first trip, but we were so tired we never watched a single one. I bought a puzzle to work on as well. Doug kinda curled his nose at that one, but I bet by day 5 he's going to be diggin' my Snoopy puzzle! :)

On the agenda for tomorrow: Learning how to use my Beco Butterfly Carrier so I don't throw our little boy out of the window when I swing him on my back.

Chippin' Away at "The List"

2011-01-29T21:07:00.005-06:00

OK, so I was sorely not prepared for our court date. I was really thinking I would have a good month to get everything bought for our little boy, have all the time in the world to peruse websites and talk to travel agencies about the cheapest, most convenient flight, and get our girls prepared to be without their mommy and daddy for three weeks. So much for thinking...

Our flights are booked--sort of. The international part is at least. We have the honor of flying to Frankfurt this time; I've heard it is a pretty nice airport. The domestic flight from Krasnoyarsk to Moscow got cancelled, so our travel agency had to find us an alternate flight. Now we're landing at Vnukovo Airport to do our 3 day stint in Moscow before heading home. Never hearing of the "V" airport, I had in my mind some back woods heavily ladened with smoke "rustic" airport, so I got online and checked it out. It is the 3rd largest airport in Russia, and although it is primarily a domestic airport, they have plans to make it a fancy, smazzy international airport in the future. So, I'm OK with it. Just adds to our adventure. We'll get the domestic flights booked on Monday. Our whole flight schedule is so much nicer this time around. We are missing out on the 9 hour layover in Moscow--aw shucks! We are missing out on having to transfer from Newark to JFK airport, and we have no overnight stays. Yeah!

Our visas should be here on Wednesday, February 2. I was not feeling like living on the edge this time around. I could have opted for the much cheaper 6-8 day processing time, but they would have been expected to be at our house the day before we leave. After our home study sat in Austin for 38 hours before FedEx got it to Wyoming, I was not exuding 100% confidence in Fed Ex, so I chose the 3-5 day processing which costs $150 more per visa. Is $300 worth the peace of mind? Maybe...maybe not. I've been so busy with other things I haven't been able to give it a thought.

Our home study update/addendum/orphanage visit run down (nobody was exactly sure what to call it) has been written. It should be notarized and in the mail to us Monday or Tuesday. I'll have to get it apostilled, and then we'll hand carry it with us to court.

We're trying to decide whether to go with the apartment or stay in Hotel Krasnoyarsk this time. I think we've pretty much decided on the apartment just so we'll have more room. Our hotel room was about the size of my kitchen. Doug's having a hard time thinking about doing without the Hotel Kras's breakfast every morning though. I can't believe he'd scoff at my microwavable oatmeal and instant coffee!

It's been a long time since we've had an infant in the house. How quickly you forget about all the little stuff that you need! And as I was walking through Babies R Us tonight, I am amazed at all the new fun stuff they've created since my girls were babies. I've got a slew of sippy cups ordered. Soft spots, hard spots, straws, with handles, without handles... The girls' old sippy cups need to be condemned, and since our little boy has not had the experience of a sippy cup, how do you know which one he'll like? They were working on him drinking out of a China tea cup when we were there--at 9 months old. It was even put on his medical like it was an important milestone. That about brings tears to my eyes thinking how the orphanages (out of sheer necessity I'm sure) try to make them as independent as possible as early as possible. We're going to be doing our darndest to "back up the clock" with him (back on the bottle if at all possible--I understand that it is great for attachment if it can be done--sippy cups--and of course, lots of eye contact play!!) I'm really hoping he'll dig the straw sippy cups as that will be the best for mouth/speech development, but any sippy cup will be better than a tea cup any day. Can you say MESS?

On schedule for Monday: book domestic part of the trip and get bloodwork taken in anticipation of our 8 doctor medical!

Court!

2011-01-26T21:57:00.003-06:00

We have our court date! February 15! That's big whooo hooo! I wasn't expecting it to be until March from what our agency had said. That's fast, but one day fewer in the orphanage is one day better for our little guy! We're scrambling around looking at flights and such. The judge is asking for an update to our home study, which isn't really an update to our home study, but our home study is having to do it. It basically is a run down of our first visit on home study agency letterhead. We'll have to get it apostilled and hand carry it to Krasnoyarsk. Our agency's Russian office isn't concerned about the black list; it seems that in our region at least, the black list affects those trying to get their dossier registered but not court. So, unless we hear something different tomorrow, it's all on! Yeah! Another great news about our court date is it is one day before our home study expires; two days before our girls' medical expires--so we don't have to redo those. We won't be home in time to celebrate our little guy's first birthday in the states, but at least he'll have his first birthday with his momma and daddy with him. That certainly counts for something doesn't it? I'll post more about our details once we get our flights booked.

The Black List Panic of 2011

2011-01-25T20:47:00.003-06:00

Surprisingly, waiting for the news of our court date has been relatively easy for me--until this morning. I'm not sure why--I think it's because it is totally out of my hands right now. I couldn't make FedEx or DHL get it there faster; I couldn't speed up the process of getting our dossier translated, etc. I've looked at it as a breather actually; there have been days when I haven't even thought about adoption paperwork! My little hiatus ended this morning about 10:00.

I've mentioned the Russian home study black list before...(read The Black List Panic of 2010). MOE isn't very methodical about when they get the new lists out; this latest update was the first one in 6 months. The new update came out last week. I noticed a few people discussing it on the Russian adoption yahoo group, but I didn't think too much about it. I figured my home study agency wasn't on it--hadn't been the entire time of our adoption journey, certainly it wasn't going to start now with us at the end of our road. For whatever reason, this morning I thought I'd check it out just for kicks. And there it was...our home study agency was on the black list!! Are you kidding me????? And it's the day before we are to get our court date!!!! I quickly contact our home study agency; our social worker apparently has already been working on it trying to contact MOE and the region who "turned them in" as their records show them and everyone up to date with all reports. She was finally able to make some headway this afternoon, and it seems that our home study agency was put on the list by mistake (something that I understand happens quite frequently). Because of the time difference, she won't have confirmation of that until tomorrow, so we wait. I have no idea how this will affect us getting a court date. Our coordinator was to submit the papers on Wednesday, which is actually tonight here in the US, so I'm thinking we'll hear something one way or another. We were expecting to have our court date scheduled tomorrow, but we'll see now. I don't know how it all gets cleared up in the Russian paperwork, but I know it will-- somehow, some way, and in a most timely manner. Our family has favor, and I will not allow satan to affect my faith! So, tune in tomorrow!

This whole black list thing really angers me in the fact that if Russia is going to make it such a big deal and basically nullify your home study if your agency is on the list, then they need to double and triple check any names that get put on there. We little pre-adoptive parents don't need this stress in our lives!

On a totally unrelated topic, when I went back to find the 2010 Panic post to link it, I scanned another entry I had written that same month too. Last night, I was up several hours throwing up. When I got back to bed the first time, would anyone care to guess what the question was my husband asked me??? See here if you don't know the answer. I just answered, "I don't know." I wasn't even going to entertain him with a run down of my menu for the last 24 hours. He's still trying to convince me tonight that it was the chili I ate. I just look at him. There isn't much more I can do.

Could it be Cyrano? Sinbad? Sherlock?

2011-01-23T21:03:00.005-06:00

I think I forgot to mention our little boy has a name! I had thought that we would have to give him his name at the end of our first trip after reading several others' experiences, and when we left, we had the "short list" but nothing definitive. We weren't even given the option of giving his name while in Russia. It was on the Petition to Adopt document that our coordinator in Krasnoyarsk sents to us after we returned home. We were so undecided it was not until the day before we sent off our main dossier (minus the home study of course) that we finalized our decision. I should say "I" finalized the decision. We had decided on his first name the week we returned from our first trip, and I basically left the middle name up for Doug to decide all on his own (with the stipulation that I had to at least like it). That was like sending a three year old into the candy store and saying you can only pick out one thing. All of our documents were notarized by our super secretary Loritta except for the Petiton to Adopt sheet which we had to insert his name. I finally made the executive decision, typed it in, and said, "Sign Big Boy--this is what we're calling him!"

So, what's his name? Not telling! We kept our girls' names to ourselves, so we'll do the same for our little boy (although Doug could probably be bought off but then he'd have to come home to me and that would be a most scary thought for him!) I think it's more of a self preservation thing as I'd just as soon as not have peoples' opinions about it until it's too late. I will say, however, that it is a very strong name,fits our little guy perfectly, and has lots of meaning which I think is important since his life began without much fanfare and he needs to know that he is destined for greatness despite his beginnings. I've finished the letters of his name for his room. Here are a few of them. (In no particular order and no, it's not all of them. Many of you are too smart for me to put up all of them!) I think this is the first week in years that I got out the glue gun and did an arts and craft project. I had forgotten how much I had missed that stuff! Putting his letters together brought back memories of when I worked on Annsley's and Kennedi's letters. Annsley's was finished at the Ronald McDonald House while she was in NICU, and poor Kennedi's wasn't completed until she was probably 6 weeks old--and then I was so sleep deprived I slapped the paint on and called them good. I think they came out OK, although...

I think I'm still struggling with trying not to make them too girly girl. I just couldn't resist putting some shiny, sparkly jewels on them. I forced myself to ditch the absolutely beautiful flower petals though--and no big fluffy bows or feathers anywhere. I was truly sad as I departed Hobby Lobby with my pitiful buys for this project. I probably should have just put them in the driveway, ran over them in my Jeep, and painted cross hairs on top of the tire tracks. That's "boyish" isn't it???

Shower of Blessings

2011-01-20T19:38:00.010-06:00

Doug's faculty and staff gave us the most wonderful baby shower Wednesday afternoon. I was totally overwhelmed at their generosity. It is truly humbling to think that others are so excited for our family! Thank you so much! Doug and I are awed and so grateful! Dump trucks, balls, pajamas, Oh My!We were given some of the cutest boy clothes I've seen. Boy clothes have come a long way in just the last few years I must say! (A note about one of the dump trucks--My husband is a humongous OU fan; so much so that I am forced to root for any team that plays them just because he is so obnoxious. When we were dating and our first year of marriage, I had to watch the Barry Switzer Show--bigger, faster, stronger--Go OU every week. Thank the Lord we moved back to Texas where it wasn't available. He prides himself in playing the OU fight song on Fridays over the intercom. The majority of his teachers are Texas Tech grads, so they love being serenaded that way I'm sure. As pay back, one teacher gave us a beautiful burnt orange Univ. of Texas toddler shirt with "A New Year--A New Attitude" on it. He'll wear it with pride, trust me! I noticed this afternoon when I was unpacking the toys that the teacher who gave us the truck decorated it with Texas A&M stickers!! I'm not an A&M fan, but way to go Mrs. Sanders!!)

The girls were so excited as well. They claimed the stuffed giraffes as their own, but I decided to confiscate them this afternoon after thinking I might be calling National Home Health Care to send out a neck brace for the giraffes after a 4 and 6 year old play with them. Besides, Kennedi has been swiping the scissors and practicing her new found skills on her sister's Snoopy, her own hair, and our cat's whiskers. (Her father told her that he knew she had great scissor skills in the fact that Mickey still had both eyes intact.) They're kinda bummed about having to make do with their "old" toys, but I think they'll manage. Finding a place to put everything was a challenge today. All the diapers and wipes are under Kennedi's bed with the strict instructions of she is not to touch them. We'll see how that goes... Annsley was trying to get a grasp on this whole "shower" thing and how we weren't going to get wet, and I was trying to explain that it was a blessing for us to have presents raining down on you. So, at the shower, she gave Doug and I each a gift of her own that she had "wrapped" earlier that afternoon. Priceless!

Getting closer!

2011-01-13T20:55:00.008-06:00

Our documents are on their way to Russia today! They should be in our agency's Russian office by Tuesday of next week, and they plan to have the documents translated and submitted to the court by January 26! For whatever reason, I've been a basket case just thinking about it. Miss Control Freak doesn't have control. I'm just having to roll it over to God and ask for His favor to invade every part of the remainder of our journey. I'm picturing in my mind our judge pouring over our efforts to keep the paper mills in the US in business (IE: our dossier and Georgia Pacific, by the way, you can thank me later!) and saying to herself, "My, my! I've never seen such a well put together dossier. This little boy deserves a mommy and daddy, and I need to meet these Americans ASAP!"

So, January 26 is our ETA for our dossier to reach the judge or at the very least a very important clerk of the judge. "But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You. For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; with favor You will surround him as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12. Thank You, Lord! We receive it!

Correction...302 pages

2011-01-10T08:00:00.002-06:00

Oh yeah, I pulled a big one Saturday. I forgot to send our home study with all those documents! Can you believe it? I can't believe it! How do you forget something like that? I have no idea how that happened. (Yes, I know, "It didn't get put in the pile, Shelly.") HOME STUDY was the first thing listed on our agency's check off list. That makes it even worse! I even discussed our home study situation with our agency last week, and it still didn't make it to the pile. Now it has to play catch up to our other documents. Unfortunately it was after 5:00 when I just out the blue thought, "Hey, did I put our home study in the packet????" As frustrating as this is, I'm trying to think on the bright side and be thankful that the mistake was caught now and not when all our documents reached Wyoming or even Russia. We're only one day behind...breathe Shelly.

Done!

2011-01-08T14:39:00.005-06:00

We've been waiting, waiting, waiting on our home study documents and they arrived this morning!!Dossier #2 is complete and as I am writing this, Doug is driving across town to deliver it to the only Fed Ex office that has a 5:00 Saturday drop off. First stop: AUSTIN, TX!

Yes, you are looking at 142 pieces of paper x 2 for a grand total of 284 sheets of paper--and that is not including the documents our adoption agency will include when this monstrosity reaches Wyoming. Our region requires two dossiers which explains the ream of paper you're looking at. Again, we are using Capitol Courier to hand deliver them to the SOS office Monday, and our apostilled documents should be heading to our adoption agency Monday evening! We're using a courier service because the turn around if we mailed them to the Secretary of State's office is approximately 14 days; walk-ins are processed immediately; depending on how long the courier has to stand in line, it will cost us approximately $30--well worth it to speed up the process!

A special thank you goes out to Loritta who notarized close to 30 documents for us this week. Thank you! Thank you! She thought I was kidding when I told her I had a small forest for her to sign.

So, now we wait some more. Please join us in prayer as we pray for expedient delivery of our documents, that our documents will be acceptable as is to all involved (the person who apostilles them, our judge, etc.), and we will have favor with our judge for an early February court date. We have two documents that expire mid February, so we'll need our court date before they expire. Our little boy is having his first birthday in February and it would be the best birthday present in the world to celebrate it in the US. Thirdly, and while a bit vain it is important...we need to get back to Russia quickly before they cut his hair. I was amazed at how much hair he had grown between his referral picture and our 1st visit. If his hair continues to grow at that rate, he's going to be needing a hair cut one of these days, and I'd prefer to have him miss out on the Russian orphanage barber speciality.

And the #1 Question is...

2011-01-04T21:31:00.003-06:00

when are you going back? And the #1 answer is...I don't know--wish I did. We're currently waiting on documents from our homestudy agency to add to the pile of papers accumulated over the last year that will make up Dossier #2. That will all get apostilled, translated, and then handed to the judge to look over. Russia is on holiday until January 11, so nothing is happening over there right now anyway. We are praying for an end of January/early February court date.

On our first trip, we asked the orphanage doctor (the director was ill and we never met her) what they needed in terms of donations. She suggested lotion for the babies and little girls dresses. Our translator suggested that we pick up the lotion in country, so we'll do that. I've started perusing stores picking up infant to 3T dresses to take with us. If anyone is interested in helping provide a dress/dresses for our baby house, we'd be more than willing to take them with us. I'm assuming they are wanting NWT (yes, I shop Ebay and that means New With Tags). Send me an email if you're interested, and I'll get you our address. A huge "spa-cee-ba" in advance! (Thank you!) Our email is: dsrawlins@sbcglobal.net

"Yah Nee Po Nee My O"

2010-12-29T20:26:00.007-06:00

On the flight from Moscow to Krasnoyarsk, I more or less slept, but not before witnessing this hysterical event involving my husband and the Russian sitting next to him. It was so funny I was making notes as their "conversation" went on. This guy was obviously a friendly sort of fellow, as we hadn't encountered too many talkative Russians up to this point. As soon as he sits down, he starts talking to Doug in Russian.
Doug: "Yah nee po nee my o" (I don't understand.)

Doug didn't add "Pa ruski" after it, so I think the guy thought Doug didn't hear him and repeated everything again to Doug in Russian.

Doug: Huh? He then leans towards me and says, "Hey, can you help me out?"

I just laugh. I mean, this guy is way more advanced than I, and most of my Russian phrases center around babies and orphanages anyway. I whisper back to Doug, "Makes you wish you had studied those Pimsleur tapes a little bit more doesn't it?"

This guy is still talking Russian to Doug like he understands what he is saying. They finally both figure out they have a serious language barrier going on, and they start with name introductions.

Doug (beating himself on the chest): "Yo Doug." (I lean over and whisper, "I think it's suppose to be Yah Doug.")

Doug thinks the guy has told him that he is from Minnesota, but I don't think so. Call me crazy... I then decide to pull out my Say It Right in Russian book to see if I can't help with the communication. They are reducing themselves to hand gestures and "Bang-Bang" by now. Doug finds a picture of a deer in the book he's been reading and shoots it with his finger. Doug thinks they are talking about hunting, but I'm not fully convinced whether the Russian guy is or not. I'm trying to find the Russian word for teacher/educator for Doug, but this little book doesn't have that. This Russian guy gestures to take a look at my book. I know this isn't going to work because it's in English, but I hand it to him anyway. He flips through the pages. I think I hear him say, "Nee ho ro sho" (No good), and then he motions to throw my book out the plane window! Doug laughs! For those of you who don't know my husband, he has a very very very loud laugh, and on this quiet Russian filled plane, every time he laughed (which was quite a bit on this flight), 100+ people turned around and stared every time.

They move on to bear hunting. Doug is looking through my book looking for the word bear, but it's not that kind of book. It's not there. Doug looks at his new friend and says, "Got a match?" This guys whips out his lighter. I didn't know you were still allowed to have those things on planes anymore... I get my book back.

The flight attendants are now passing out papers. Doug picks out the Moscow Times...amazingly, it's in English.

Doug says to this guy: "Hey, it's in English!"
Russian Guy: "That's good!"

My hubby has a buddy!When I wake up from my nap, the Russian guy is sleeping. Doug tells me he has to go to work when we land in Krasnoyarsk and needs at least 2 hours of sleep. I have no idea how he got ahold of that information. He also told me that this guy kills grizzly bears. I'm not too sure about the accuracy of that information either as no one we talked to in Krasnoyarsk was aware of a grizzly population.

By the way, that same book that both of them were so eager to dispose of on the plane enabled us to ask for our check at the restaurants as well as order mustard--it's a survival guide--not a dictionary--and served the purpose for which I bought it well. On a side note about the mustard in Russia--it is NOT French's yellow mustard. It is some sort of mega super hot make your eyes water brownish mustard. It only took once and we never ordered it again!

Celebrate Me Home...

2010-12-23T15:14:00.003-06:00

We can't post a picture of our little boy until the adoption is final, but until then...
Please join us in prayer for a quick court date so we can celebrate him home!! I know that he is being taken care of and that my God is protecting him, but still a momma and a daddy are longing to hold him, rock him, and tell him that God has such wonderful plans for his life. We are so blessed. Merry Christmas little boy!

Driver's Ed Anyone???

2010-12-22T08:00:00.001-06:00

The car drive to and back from the orphanage was awful. I don't know how else to say it. The first day I was nauseated the whole time I was at the orphanage. I originally thought it was just due to nerves, lack of sleep, the odd smell of the orphanage, etc. By the end of day #2 I recognized it as severe car sickness. Our orphanage is within the city limits. Originally I was excited that we wouldn't be in a car for very long, but now I'm wondering if being out on the open highway might be the better way to go. Of course, you still have to navigate the traffic to get out of the city... By day #3 I was determined to have a good day at the orphanage, so I tried out my new bottle of Motion Ease herbal remedy. I avoided the Dramamine because I didn't want to be sleepy. I've never used Motion Ease before and never will again. You put a few drops behind your ears 5 minutes before travel and it's supposed to illeviate motion sickness. It does not work. Furthermore, the smell is hideous. I smelled like "hint of skunk", so combined with my nauseated state, the medicinal Flower Child odor emitting from behind my ears only added to my grief.

The street are overcrowded; the cars use the honk, floor it, and slam on your brake methods of driving. Cars are so close together going down the road it's like they could kiss one another. There are no real lanes of traffic. It's supposed to be one lane of traffic getting on the major highway, but it all reality there will be 3 cars lined up side by side trying to get on the road from the side street. Cars are parked in a somewhat parallel fashion along side the road and then all of a sudden there will be one car parked like its driver was in too big of a hurry to parallel park and left it sitting there sideways with the bumper sticking out into the road.

Automobiles have steering wheels on the left or the right side on them. That adds a whole new dimension to being able to see around the car in front of you. I've decided that the philosophy is "the bully car gets its way." You literally just point the car in the direction you want to go and people stop and let you go on your way. On our second day we were nearly to our hotel and I look up and see 5-6 cars attempting to do a U-Turn into the coming line of traffic. This is not a U-Turn like in the USA where one car at a time navigates the turn. No, in Russia they start out in a line and then pull abreast each other and circumnavigate this 6 car wide turn. Naturally, the oncoming traffic stops and lets them do this. I'm thinking in my nauseated state, "Thank goodness we're going to go to the corner and turn down the block." Silly me for thinking that. Within a minute we're part of the this phenomena.

Our translator said that if a wreck happens, it usually takes 6-8 hours for the police to respond. And then, it will usually take 24 hours for the car to be moved. Unbelievable! We were serenaded by Elvis (Elvis is very big in Russia we were told), KC and the Sunshine Band, and Rod Stewart--all in English--and our drivers did not speak English. I will ask our translator next time if they tune into the English stations for our benefit or is that all they have? I did notice that in the restaurants the music that was always playing was some kind of jazzy techno beat.
Here are a few pictures of the infamous U-Turns:

Ice Sculptures!

2010-12-20T21:28:00.005-06:00

These were the ice sculptures that were being made in the park in front of our hotel. From what we were told they create this ice park for the holiday season, and it is so cold it stays for 4-5 months or so. They make slides that people can actually go down. We'll get to see the finished product on our next trip!

A tribute to Russia's space program/1st astronaunt:

One of the slides:

Back in the USA

2010-12-20T15:13:00.004-06:00

I’ve decided that I am spoiled. I was never so excited to see my hotel room at the Newark Airport Saturday night with a big fluffy bed, soft pillows, thick towels, and and ice in my drink. We had pizza delivered to our room without pointing. It was a big step for us! (I didn’t realize until we got back to the US what a stress the language barrier had been.) The time change coming west has been a blessing. I forced myself to stay awake on the flight from Moscow to NY so I could sleep at night by watching the movie Grown-Ups three times on the plane. (It was the only one in English, without subtitles, and no blood or guts.)We got home last night about 30 minutes before our girls' Christmas program. It was so good to see them! I couldn't believe how much I missed them. Annsley kept telling me I looked so tall!

As I'm keeping the blog also as a memoir, the next few entries will be covering our various experiences on our trip. Today's entry covers flying. (Sorry it's so long...)

The Krasnoyarsk Airport is rather interesting—more like primitive. I would never venture there in a thousand years without our translator. Unlike the Moscow Airport there was no English here. The second you walk in the door, you put your luggage through a giant x-ray machine. We had a challenge getting our boarding passes as the ticket lady was new and was having trouble getting our bags checked all the way to New York. At one point she actually left her computer and was gone 5 minutes, I suppose talking to a supervisor. I could tell our translator was a bit irritated, and although I knew we weren’t in any real trouble as she wasn’t talking loudly or fast (something I noticed that Russians do when they are upset), Doug and I both got the wigs about being delayed. After soliciting the help of no less than 4 people, 30 minutes later we finally had our passes. The Russians behind us were not happy; in fact, by the time we got finished, no one was behind us. Translators cannot go through security with you, so she told us what to do and watched through the door until we got our shoes back on. They were already boarding when we got to the gate, and again we got on the shuttle bus to go to the airplane. It was absolutely freezing. It was already -27 and combined with the wind chill and not wearing my gloves, I thought fingers were going to fall off. They only let 6 or so people on the stairs at a time. Russians do not get in a nice line; it’s more like a herd of cattle going through a gate.

We were in the international part of SVO airport on the way back home, and it had a few more “comforts” than the domestic part of our terminal although it was all nice.We gravitated to TGI Fridays--finally something we recognized in nearly a week! SVO had recently been renovated, and the part we were in had just been finished earlier this year. And most importantly, all the signs were in Russian as well as English, so we were able to navigate it fairly easily.

Security was interesting. The security workers were dressed in ties or skirts and heels—very formal. The airports provide everyone with the little blue booties (the same ones we had to wear at the orphanage), and it is very orderly and quiet—totally opposite of what I would consider the security at US airports. There are plenty of chairs available for you to put your shoes back on—novel idea! When you get off the airplane at SVO (Moscow Airport), you have to go through passport control—one a time—it is not like in the US where you go as family. The guy takes your passport, scans it and your visa, stares really good at you, and then pushes the buzzer for you to open the door to the free world. I was totally surprised about customs. On the flight to Moscow, there were quite a few Americans on the plane. We, being the quick thinkers we are, quickly made friends with one of them. His passport was one of those which had to have extra pages added to it—we chose well! At the baggage claim he pointed to the customs doors for us. We walked through the customs area, ran our bags through the security system, and didn’t say a thing to anyone. There were a few military looking people, but nobody said anything. On the way back home, we walked through the customs area and nobody was there—nada--but we did have to show our passports to 4 different people before we got on the plane. Security was tight to say the least.

As far as Aeroflot goes, I was really impressed. In fact, the international flights were on the nicest airplanes I had ever been on. The flight attendants were like a throw back to the 1970s. The women had skirts and those cute little hats; the men attendants all wore coats and ties. The food was rather awesome as well. It was still airplane food, but it was really really good for airplane food. I think they served salmon at every meal ; I didn’t eat it but Doug had mine, so he was a happy camper. Everybody we encountered with regard to Aeroflot were really nice and most at the ticket counters in New York and Moscow spoke English. I slept most of the way from New York to Moscow and from Moscow to Kras. I missed 2 of the three meals, but if given a choice, I always take sleep over food. Doug is the opposite. He was telling me that I missed the party on the flight to Krasnoyarsk. The Russian kick boxing team was on that 5 hour flight, and they were having a celebration and passing the whiskey/vodka bottles around.

Some more observations:

A lot of the Russians shrink wrap (Saran wrap) their luggage. For only 250 Rubles we could too. Not quite sure the reasoning behind it, but they had a kiosk set up in the airport with a little guy who would cut out the handles for the passenger.

Russians do not talk in public. The airports and planes were all amazingly quiet.

The Russians enjoy each other's company at the table. Nobody ever seemed to be in a hurry and would sit at a table for a long time. The waiter was never in a hurry to bring us the check--we usually had to ask for it because we were about to fall asleep in our water. Did I mention the jet lag???

Visits #2 and #3

2010-12-17T03:10:00.002-06:00

I have seriously underestimated the effects of our 13 hour time difference. The jet lag is astounding! It is all we can do to keep our eyes open past 7:00pm every night. Before leaving I had expected to write these really detailed posts about our daily experiences, but quite frankly, it's all I can do to quickly check email before shutting down the computer. By the way...THOSE HOMEOPATHIC JET LAG PILLS DO NOT WORK!!! It's 4:00PM right now, so maybe I can get something into the blog today before my eyes start crossing.

Our little boy has been so sick. He had a fever and a lot of congestion during our first two visits with him. After visit #1, I was rather hesistant to say the least. We saw absolutely no emotions from him whatsoever. No crying, so smiling, no babbling--nada. It was a bit concerning to say the least. Visit #2 was at a different time of the day. He still wasn't feeling very well; you could just tell it from his eyes. Again, we saw very little emotion from him until the end. One of the caregivers came into the room, and he saw her, and literally spun a 180 on his tummy to follow her around the room and he started crying. As soon as she picked him up he stopped. That may sound funny, but I was so relieved to watch that reaction from him.

Today was our last visit. His fever was gone and we were able to get him to smile and squeal! Yeah! He's so smart too! He loves following people with his eyes. With all our visits, we never knew when our time with him was up. The care giver just comes into the room and says, "Time to go!" I assure you, today was very hard on us when she came in to get him. Oh how we need a quick court date! We left a photo album of our family, his lion Taggy, and a disposable camera for his caretakers to take pictures of him while we wait for our court date.

I have so much more to write about our experience here, but I'm needing a nap! We've ventured outside our hotel a bit, but it's so cold we don't stay too long. They are building ice sculptures at the base of our hotel to celebrate the holiday season. I'll try to post some pictures of them soon. They are amazing! Paka from Russia! We leave the hotel tomorrow at 5:00AM to head back home.

Orphanage Visit #1

2010-12-15T21:33:00.003-06:00

Here are my personal notes about our first visit yesterday. I apologize if it skips around a bit. I just copied and pasted from my Word Doc.

12/15/2010: We pulled into the driveway of Baby House #1. It was a very old building. Within a few minutes our boy was brought out to us. The caretaker immediately handed him to me and we all walked up the concrete stairs painted green. I was taken aback at how quickly they handed him to me. It was kinda like, “Here he is. Gotta go!” We were led into a small room with a rug and a few toys and chairs. Winnie the Pooh and Tigger etc. were painted on the concrete walls. One wall had bumble bees painted all over it. You could tell the orphanage attempted to make the rooms as bright and as kid friendly as possible. Our little boy never cried—even when Doug held him. He loved the toys that made noise—a boy! We brought out a sensory ball and he loved it. He kept gnawing on it. I think he may be teething as there was a lot of drool as well. He already has 2 bottom teeth! He’s a healthy little guy. He already weighs 19 pounds, so it’s evident that he’s been putting to good use all the calories the orphanage has been feeding him! He looks for sounds, he can sit up with assistance although it is not going to be very much longer when he can balance totally on his own. When something of interest catches his attention we watched him maneuver on his stomach to get it. He was trying to “skooch” forward to retrieve some items. After about 45 minutes, the orphanage doctor came in and went through his medicals. We really didn’t learn more than what we already knew and certainly there were no surprises, so I am thankful. As healthy as he is I wonder if the fact that he has Asian features is the reason a Russian family hasn’t adopted him. Doug held him in his arms and he fell asleep while I was getting the information from the doctor. Doug got to take him back to where they feed them. He said they had little high chair looking contraptions lined up with the babies sitting in them. They were eating some kind of mashed up beans he thought. The care taker was going down the line feeding each of them a spoonful at a time and moving on to the next baby. I want to hear him laugh. He is so solemn.

Sitting here typing this I’m thinking about yesterday’s visit. I know I was tired beyond tired beyond tired; it was a very surreal experience at the orphanage. I had butterflies in my stomach the entire time. I was nearly nauseated when we left the orphanage. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was thinking about doing the whole diaper thing again—maybe it was thinking if we don’t adopt him will he spend the rest of his days in these Russian institutions—maybe it was “What have we gotten ourselves into?” After 15 hours of sleep, I feel better; we are to visit him again this afternoon at 2:00pm.

The culture is so different here. Here are some of our observations:
(1) It is a free for all walking through the doors. The men do not hold open the door for women. They will literally run you over. Doug has held the door open for some women and we hear "Americanets" from some Russian men watching. Doug is currently watching people outside our hotel window. He's watching a women scrap the snow off the car while the man sits inside the car smoking his cigarette!
(2) Everybody wears black or gray. I look like a lollipop in my purple wool coat.
(3) The women dress very nicely. Alot wear short skirts--even in these freezing temps.
(4) Fur is everywhere--if they are not wearing a full length fur coat then the collar or hood is fur. This is almost without exception. The majority of women have fur hats as well.
(5) Russians do not talk in the airport. It was amazingly quiet in the Moscow airport.
(6) Liquor ads are everywhere!!
(7) Doug is in shock at the women walking around in their stilleto heels.

(My apologies about any misspellings. The spell checker has highlighted every word. I think it's trying to do it in Russian...)

We have several hours before our next visit, so I think we're going to go exploring. Should be interesting to say the least!

Snapshot of Day 1

2010-12-15T12:26:00.003-06:00

We've arrived! Our plane landed at the Krasnoyarsk Airport at about 5:45AM Wednesday morning. The airport does not have terminals that the planes pull up to and you walk down a sky walk inside. No, we got the experience of walking down a flight of stairs like some kind of president into some of the coldest air I've ever felt and then taking a ride inside a frozen shuttle bus to the baggage claim. We got to our hotel and had enough time to shower and eat breakfast before we were to be picked up to go to MOE. Breakfast at the Hotel Krasnoyarsk was not only delicious but very filling. Can't wait to venture there again!

The driving is absolutely crazy around here. I'd heard stories, but you have to experience it for yourself to truly appreciate it. Thankfully our orphanage is not outside the city so car time is minimal. I'll blog more about that and our experience in the Moscow airport later. Stick around for that--it'll be worth it! LOL

Our appointment with the Ministry of Education went well. We were asked a few questions and granted to permission to visit our little guy. We then headed to the legal department to obtain information on his mother and father. Doug loves our coordinator. She told us not to take our coats off because we don't have time to waste. She's a "let's gitter done!" kinda of lady. I'm frantically taking notes and then we're off to the orphanage as quickly as possible so we can have as much time as possible before he has to take a nap.

We drive to our baby's orphanage. It's clean but very old. As soon as we put on our little blue booties over our shoes (Doug's tore and had to ask for another one. The comment our coordinator said was, "Made in China!") a care taker brought him to me. We walked up a flight of stairs to a play room and had about 40 minutes to play with him. I'll blog more about that visit as well. I'm just trying to get an update before my Advil PM kicks in. It's 1:00AM here as I'm typing. The doctor came in and went over his medicals.

After our visit, our translator and coordinator dropped us off at Moma Roma's for lunch. We were given directions on how to get to our hotel from there and we were on our own. We got lost. Well sort of, we just didn't walk far enough. It was freezing, absolutely freezing, but everyone walks around here. High spikey heeled boots--it's amazing!! I was the only one without head gear. (I hate "hat head".) However, after my experience walking 4 blocks, I will not make that mistake twice and I will have something on my ears. I emailed Dr. Davies some questions and more photos and we're waiting to hear back from him. I tried to stay awake yesterday afternoon until dark, but I only made it until 3:00. Doug made it only to 2:00. We crashed and burned in our clothes on top of the bed. We're now awake, but I have big plans to go back to bed in a few minutes.

Thank you for all your prayers.

Hello From JFK!

2010-12-13T14:10:00.003-06:00

It has been a whirlwind the last few days. I didn't get everything on my list completed like I wanted, and truly I felt like a chicken with my head cut off. Quite frankly, it was a relief to be in the car leaving. Annsley cried when we left and Kennedi, I think, was rather oblivious to what was fixing to happen. She's really the one we're concerned about as she gets to be a momma's girl when she gets tired, but we've asked God to fill our girls with peace, and we know they'll both be OK. It's the grandmas we're really concerned about!

We got to our Dallas hotel last night at midnight, got up at 4:00, and still missed the 5:00 shuttle. The hotel guy was really nice and called for another shuttle to come pick us up. DFW was a madhouse to say the least. I guess there were tons of flights rerouted or cancelled because of the snow storm. We got to Newark at 11:00AM, caught a shuttle to JFK,grabbed some Asian food from a counter with two women who didn't speak any English, and waited for the Aeroflot counter to open.The terminal Aeroflot is located in is the same as China Air, Japan Airline, Turkish Air, and "if you can pronounce it you can go there" Air. Doug and I are like the Clampets going to Europe--we are truly out of our Texas element. I feel like whipping out the BINGO game and playing "what language is this?" We'd clean house!

We don't take off until 7:00PM, so we wait some more. We arrive at Moscow tomorrow at 12:15PM and then have a nice little 9 hour layover in SVO airport. I haven't told Doug yet that we'll be on our own at the Moscow airport--why send the little boy into a fretting frenzy early? Out caseworker as well as several adoptive parents told me it was no big deal to navigate the Moscow Airport, so we--rather I--opted out of our agency sending someone to help us transfer. Our flight arrives and the leaves for Kras in the same terminal, so I think in 9 hours time I can find the connecting gate. I've got Krasnoyarsk spelled in Cyrillic just in case I can't find someone who knows English to take pity on us--it can't be that bad--right? Right? We leave Moscow at 9:15 Tuesday night and arrive in Krasnoyarsk at 6:00AM. I'm tired, ready to sleep, and feel like I'm getting jipped with my sleep with regard to the Krasnoyarsk flight with the 6 hour time difference. We're supposed to be picked up at Krasnoyarsk and then we'll head to MOE and then on to meet our little boy! The next time you hear from us we'll literally be half way around the world.

Progress?

2010-12-09T20:58:00.003-06:00

I thought I was kicking my "to do" list in the rear this morning, and then I turned the page in my little notebook. It was a fleeting victory. All I can say absolutely without a doubt there is no way I could get everything ready for this trip if I had not gone ahead and finished or bought things earlier this summer and fall. The adapters, the universal power strip, the pictures taken early for the visas, the photo album I made to leave with the orphanage, and the list goes on. I am so thankful I did as much as I could early. Also, a note to PAPs out there...I just thought we were dropping money early on in our adoption journey. It is flying out the window now. It about takes my breath away--not because we weren't expecting it, but because of the huge chunks and how fast it's going. Just be prepared for that!

I am tired--very tired. I don't know if making the decision to travel in less than 8 days adds a new dynamic that given 14 days to travel doesn't have, but nevertheless I'm tired. My eyes have been burning for 6 days straight by 8:00 at night. Tonight I'm going to try out my new purchase from other day--Advil PM.

Everything is done except booking a room at DFW airport Sunday night. I spent today getting all my paperwork, notes, maps printed off the computer. I made a currency exchange rate chart so I'd know if I were being charged $400 for an apple at the local grocery store. I have an international calling card now just in case SKYPE is a bust.

Our visas arrived this morning! Not what I was expecting--my convict picture is not a part of my visa stamp--thank the Lord! Oh the horror of having to whip that out every time at customs. I'm now wondering if it's on a pin up wall at the Russian Consulate under the "Watch List." And no, I'm still not showing it to anyone. I have been extremely impressed with Travel Visa Pro. I have nothing to compare them to and maybe other companies give their customers a free ticket to Brazil for using them, but TVP sent our passports back in these really nice plastic passport covers. I also have a coupon for $10 off next time I use them AND I have a coupon for some lucky recipient for $15 off each visa for referring you to them. If you're interested in it, let me know. First come, first serve. I'll put it in the mail to you tomorrow if you leave your address. After tomorrow, I'm not promising anything.

On the agenda tomorrow: pick up chocolates, buy a warm winter hat, pick up some snacks to take on our trip, and grocery shop for the grandmas who are keeping our girls. I still have not thought about packing and cleaning my house. Maybe tomorrow night? Nothing like living on the edge.

Frozen Tundra

2010-12-08T21:22:00.005-06:00

OK, so at the time of this writing, it is -18 at 10:00am in Krasnoyarsk with a wind chill of -43. That will make your nostril hairs freeze I just know it. I remember one winter in college when it was -80 in Alaska, and I don't remember how cold it was in Oklahoma, but it was hovering somewhere -20. I had to walk particularly far one day to my car and I remember my nose hairs freezing and my lungs hurting from breathing that cold air. As I am writing I am seriously concerned about my toes not having to be amputated from the cold. I'm thinking hand warmers. Would those be considered contraband? I was originally thinking I would be packing all my cute stuff. Now I'm moving on to survival.

Well, it's official I suppose. We get to enter Russia. Travel Visa Pro sent me an email this afternoon with the FedEx tracking number. I've been imagining the clerk at the Russian Consulate staring at my convict picture and perhaps praying for me. Did he have such concern about someone of my caliber entering his country he took my picture of the sad American to the lounge and get a vote on whether to approve this application? Was he wrought with indecision? Did he take pity on my husband? Did he think, "What's a good lookin' fella like that doing with this San Quentin graduate?" I suppose we'll never know...

Today I bought a travel alarm clock, have a working wrist watch for the first time in 3 years, and bought some Frebreeze. Tomorrow I will go after the travel toilet paper, snacks, and battery powered electric socks--do they even still make such a thing? Apparently I'm going to need our local boot shop to fashion me a holster to house the giant 9 vote battery needed to supply enough energy to keep my feet from falling off.

I perused Aeroflots's website last night. To avoid a pricey penalty, your one piece of luggage cannot exceed 50lbs on the flight from the US to Moscow. However, on the domestic flight you are limited to 44lbs. So, unless I plan to ditch some items in Moscow, I've got to pack for the 44 lbs. I refuse to pay a penalty--especially on this first trip.

Our agency has recommended we have 1-2 gifts on our first trip to give to those we won't see again ie: MOE person. I went to Schakolad Chocolate Factory--I can't believe we have a place like this in my little West Texas city--and they are making up a box of chocolates for me to take. On the bars they are writing "thank you" in Russian for me. I don't think I have to worry about them melting on this trip...

I reserved our hotel room at the Hotel Krasnoyarsk yesterday. I'm not sure what kind of room I really got--they had everything from twin beds to singles to superior singles to studio a, studio b and studio c. I got the cheapest room for two people with one bed. I kept waiting for the confirmation email. Finally found it in my spam folder today. It was sent there because it was in Russian. I am so fixing to be over my head!

My house is a wreck, I haven't packed one single item--I don't even have a "spot" where I'm gathering items. Help!

Coming Up For Air

2010-12-06T20:10:00.004-06:00

Where do I start? Flights are booked as of this morning--we leave Sunday night--yes, in 5 days. We were basically given 4 different travel dates we could pick from; the latter two options would include travel on Christmas Day and the flights were outrageous and conflicts out the wazoo were in the mix as well. So, we pushed and pushed to make the earlier travel dates a reality. The flights were not very cheap; I had every Tom, Dick, and Harry travel agency on the internet looking for flights or calling me. I finally on a whim went directly to Aeroflot's website, and was able to book our flights out of Dallas for $600 cheaper than what anyone or anything could quote me! Yeah! Needing to get to Dallas (6 hours away) we booked separate fares on American. To leave from our little international airport was adding $1000 per ticket to nearly every quote we could get. That is insane! When I got the confirmation email from Aeroflot this morning, I had to go celebrate and ate mexican food at Abuelos with my little nephew who was in town. I think it was the first time I had eaten more than 5 bites of food since we accepted our referral. I have been such a basket case since we accepted our referral I haven't been able to enjoy the thought of getting the opportunity to go meet this little guy. Maybe I can now that we have the flights booked. We still need to book hotel, but if I can't find a great price on my own, our agency will get it booked for us.

Also, this afternoon I went to our bank to order some Rubles to have on hand to make quick little purchases in the airport. In front of the foreign currency teller's window is a beautiful Christmas display. It's not good. I have Kennedi with me, and her downfall is shiny, gold, and sparkly things. This life size tin reindeer is gold, shiny, and has Christmas lights outlining it's entire body. It is pulling an equally life size Santa sleigh. Standing next to the deer is a 12 foot giant Santa. It's more than Kennedi can handle. Both girls are checking out this Santa. Not good. The deer is being precariously balanced on these narrow metal stands. I get both girls to stand next to me. I turn my back for a second--it's always a second isn't it??- and out of the corner of my eye I see Kennedi head back for Sasquatch Santa. Her foot hangs on the reindeer's front hoof and down Prancer is coming. I catch the thing before it crashes to the floor. I put him back upright, but now his tail is lying on his back and his antlers are hanging around the jowels of his cheeks. (Thankfully those body parts weren't broken, but the Christmas elves will have to put him back correctly.) And yeah, they're gonna remember me because nobody in this town orders Rubles, and I have to go pick them up later this week.

And finally, the tale of the quest for visas. We accepted our referral on a Thursday morning. Our caseworker thought we could travel the 13th if we wanted to go quickly. So, the hunt to get visas here was priority #1 that day. I filled out the apps online; I had to go dig out our old resumes to finish it! We had to put our current employer info, but also the last two places or employment, phone numbers, supervisor names, etc. There were places for listing your higher education--again address, phone numbers, majors. It took me forever to fill it out. The amount you pay for your visa is determined how fast they are processed. In order to get it the next weekend, we could choose the 3-5 day option or overnight. Doug was ready to live on the edge, so we opted for the cheaper 3-5 day option, but the only way that would work was if I got it to FedEx that afternoon. I printed out the apps, grabbed the passports, and my fresh out of jail visa photos; I printed a shipping label from my FedEx account (which I would highly recommend for anyone in the adoption process--they give you a 10-15% discount or something like that) and sped to the FedEx Office. I got there 15 minutes before the truck was coming to pick up. I would like to point out that thanks to my keen insight, we had our visa pictures waiting on us to use. If we had to take the time to get them made, we would have been forced to go with the $500 per expedited visa option. According to our visa company, (we used Travel Visa Pro), they are supposed to be here Thursday morning. I will say though it takes a bit of faith and throwing caution to the wind to put your highly sought after on the black market American passport in the mail to a guy in Houston who speaks with a strong foreign accent.

Lastly, to prepare us for the Siberian winter we are about to experience, our central heat isn't working. The repair guy isn't coming until tomorrow, and we've been without heat for 2 days now. It's been down in the 20s at night this week, so our house is frigid. We kept the fireplace going all night long; Doug would set the alarm every so often and go put more logs on. I felt like I've been stuck in a Little House on the Prairie time warp with a gazillion blankets on our bed. How did those people live out here in their little grass sod houses????

To commemorate our Siberian Olympics at our house, I leave you with a picture of the Ice Palace from Dr. Zhivago:

Yowza!

2010-12-02T19:30:00.003-06:00

Some amazing things have happened in the last week:

(1) I shaved my legs for the first time in 3 weeks (don't ask!)

(2) I think my 4 year old knows more Russian than her father. She walks around the house with his MP3 player practicing. You can hear her say out loud, "I" "Yah", "Good night" "Spa-Coin-a Noche" It's so cute. She repeats the English word and then the Russian. I've reminded Doug, since acquiring skills in the Russian language has been steadily dropping on list of priorities, that he needs at least to be able to say, "I don't understand Russian" and perhaps more importantly if he should ever be separated from me "Where's my hotel/airport?" I laugh at my self pride in knowing my 50 or so words/phrases--like I'm gonna tell the translator her services won't be needed--It reminds me of when I was in college with Spanish as my minor. I thought I was hot stuff in the Latino world and decided I'd sit down to watch a Spanish soap opera to hone in my skills. I'm the one who got schooled! Let's see...got a bit off topic there...

(3) We have an early Christmas present! Yes, this is the big enchilada!! We have accepted a referral of a beautiful 9 month old baby boy today!!! Our case worker surprised us with a call a week ago last Wednesday morning at about 8:55 AM to tell us she was emailing us some pictures. She was surprised too as she wasn't expecting to hear from Russia until at least December. She didn't have any medicals to send us but thought she'd get something perhaps on Thanksgiving Day. Let me just tell you, it's pretty darn hard to keep your mouth closed when all your family you see over the Thanksgiving holidays asks if you've heard anything about the adoption. We knew nothing about this little boy and just wanted to keep it to ourselves until we knew for sure. (Sorry Gram, Momma Carol, Papa, Uncle Doug, etc--yes, we lied.) I was a lot more cautious this time around and purposely did not pull up his pictures up on the computer all day every day to look at this little cutie until we got the green light from an IA doctor. There is nothing like getting a piece of your heart jerked out. I will say that this time around though when Doug and I first looked at his pictures, we quietly knew he was the one for us. So we waited--Thanksgiving, no medical; Friday, no medical; maybe Monday? No medical as the inspector is still on vacay; should be here Tuesday our case worker said.

Bright and early the medicals arrived (11/30) Tuesday morning (nothing like 7 days of suspense to keep the heart muscle in shape), Dr. Davies had a cancellation in his schedule, and we were able to conference with him at noon the same day! He was very optimistic compared to our earlier November referral. We sought out two IA doctor's opinions the first time, but both Doug and I feel that isn't necessary this time. He's a healthy little guy! We've been given the option of two travel dates, and we're frantically trying to get the first set of dates working for us. So, we will be leaving soon to meet the little boy whom God has chosen to make us a family of 5! Thank You Lord for Your wonderful blessings! "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23.

Christmas, Scrooge, and the Big Tree

2010-11-28T20:17:00.009-06:00

This post has absolutely nothing adoption related, but you'll either have to bear with me as I don't have a family blog or go ahead and back right on out of here and check back later...

My house smells so good (and no, it's not from my Merry Maids cleaning ability--trust me.) Our Christmas tree is up--a Balsam Fir--and it smells like Christmas! I had forgotten how much I love the smell of a real Christmas tree. The last big tree I put up was when Annsley was 6 months old; the following year I bought a 3 foot table topper instead. Doug calls me the Christmas Scrooge, but here's what I know. My little melancholy self couldn't handle keeping a toddler out of the tree all day long. My sister suggested that I decorate just the top half, but really, what's the point in that? It's gotta be somewhat aesthetically pleasing, and a semi bald tree doesn't quite cut the mustard. I'm not going to haul out all those ornaments and lights and spend my time and still end up with a butt ugly tree. So, I've been enjoying the little table topper tree for 4 years while Doug and Annsley have been pining for the real thing. My mother is totally aghast that I would succumb my children to such. I've reminded her and Doug that I let Annsley and Kennedi pick out the star and tiny ornaments that went on it. (That didn't get me in my mother's good graces either--only the roll of her eyes.) Kennedi hasn't really known the difference, and quite frankly, she is the reason why we didn't get the "big" one last year. (Those of you who know my daughter can understand!) Before Thanksgiving Annsley begged to have a real tree, "Not one that goes on top of the TV, Mom." She also requested one that would touch the ceiling. OK, so now I feel guilty about having deprived my children, so I agree to the "big" tree this year. On the way to the tree lot yesterday, I'm asking Doug if we need to get a tree bag to dispose of it, and Annsley starts crying. Poor thing doesn't realize that this tree isn't going up into the attic like the little table topper fella that she's known. (I know, this story gets more pathetic...) Guilt ridden Mommy picks out the type of tree (Balsam Fir--it's gotta smell good!) but against my better judgement, I let her and her daddy pick out which one. (Kennedi is just happy to be there.) Together they decide on the tallest one they can find that falls within our tree budget. It's a skinny tree but stands a proud 6 1/2 feet tall!

Today was spent decorating it. My decorations are dated to say the least. It is a reminder of the 14 years of a childless marriage in which I had time to sit in the living room floor and create bow after bow after bow. Nobody bothered me and when I didn't get finished I could leave my stuff out and it would be there tomorrow. (Even Doug didn't dare touch my sacred crafts!) Anyway, our tree screams "90s" and very adult like. I will have to invest in "fun" ornaments for next year's tree. Perhaps I'll venture out to the after Christmas sales this year.

Annsley was a great help in decorating today, and Kennedi reminded me of why I hadn't done this for the last 4 years. She got sent to her room three times before the tree got finished. (Yes, I know you grandmas are thinking that is a most unfair punishment on such a big day, but (a) she tried to plug in the lights and messing with the electric outlets is a big no no in our house (b) the play-dough gingerbread man ornament she made last year at an arts class now qualifies for a government subsidy as she ate one of its feet (c) she tried to perfect the art of the "jump, stretch, and hang your glass ornament without pulling the tree down" technique.)

We will have stockings up as well for the first time. (Again, see the above paragraph of why we haven't hung those things out before now.) I discovered today that Kennedi doesn't have a stocking of her own. Doug and I have the ones that we've had for umpteen years, Annsley was given a beautiful one when she was a baby, and our 19 year old cat has his. Poor Kennedi was asking where hers was. I didn't realize that she didn't have one, or I would not have opened that box. Annsley, digging the knife in a bit deeper, was saying, "Look how much sparkle mine has on it. Isn't it bea-u-ti-ful Daddy?" Big ole crocodile tears welled up in Kennedi's eyes, and I briefly considered taking down my mother of the year plaque off the wall. I told her that I would go out and get hers this afternoon. I vow to not ever go out shopping the weekend after Thanksgiving, but I sacrificed for my daughter. I even got shiny glitter and jewels to put on it. And, just to show Doug that I am NOT Scrooge, I bought a tiny stocking for our other cat. I even put a glitter glue "M" on it for Mickey. Yes, I think I should get a gold sticker for holiday cheer this year....

Golden Ring of Russia

2010-11-27T20:30:00.002-06:00

Continuing Russian ed continues...

The Golden Ring of Russia refers to a ring of cities northeast of Moscow. These are all ancient towns that played a significant role in the formation of the Russian Orthodox Church and have preserved some of the most important events in Russian history from 12th- 17th centuries. The towns are all very picturesque and many feature the famous onion dome with their architecture. Those who have visited the ring often comment about how it seems as if time has stood still. The towns are quite close together, and contain lots and lots of monasteries and churches. There is some variance as to the exact cities in the Golden Ring, but most will agree on the larger towns.

Some of the more prominent cities are as follows:

Suzdal: this is the most famous town. It has over 200 ancient monuments in only a 3.5 square mile area!! The town has a present day population of only 12,000 people.

Sergiev: This town is basically known as the capital of the Russian Orthodox Church.

Yaroslavl: This town houses the Drama Theatre, Russia's first national theater.

Rostov: This town's nickname is Miracle on Earth. It is one of the oldest cities in Russia. Its claim to fame is the Kremlin, a fortress with thick white walls, silver topped towers, and cathedrals.

On a side note, it looks like the weather is cooling off in Krasnoyarsk. Brrrrr!

Need a vacation?

2010-11-19T10:30:00.001-06:00

Holiday Russian 101...

January 1: New Year's Day. This is the biggest holiday in Russia. It would be comparable to the size and scope of Christmas in the US. It is celebrated a lot like of people celebrate Christmas in the West. The children look for Grandfather Frost and his granddaughter Snow Maiden to arrive and leave presents under the tree. Grownups traditionally stay up all night long. At midnight, every one listens to the Kremlin bells either by TV or actually standing in Red Square.

January 7: Christmas. This is celebrated 2 weeks later than we do in the West because the Russian Orthodox Church recognizes the Julian Calendar. On this holiday they sing carols, play games, enjoy sweets. It was banned in 1925 with the atheist government but was reinstituted in 1992. It has yet to gain its popularity it had before 1925. Many people don't celebrate it at all. The Russians enjoy an official vacation from December 31 to January 8 or so every year. (Sounds like a teacher!:))

February 23: Protector of the Motherland. This is celebrated like our Memorial and Veteran's Day.

Spring: Easter. (Date celebrated changes with the calendar.) This one is much bigger than Christmas in Russia. Traditionally they hide eggs and exchange gifts.

April 12: Cosmonaut Day. This celebrates the sending of humans into space. Russians visit the grave of Yuri Gargain (1st man in space) and visit other landmarks related to space travel.

May 9: Victory Day. This is celebrated by lots of parades to commemorate Russia's victory over Germany in WWII.

June 12: Russia Day. This would be similar to our 4th of July.

November 4: Day of National Unity. This is a relative new holiday that resembles an original holiday celebrated for centuries before Bolsheviks came into power. It now replaces the November 7 holiday called Revolution Day which celebrated the Bolsheviks October Revolution.

This is some, but not all of Russia's official holidays.

On a side note, our girls were at the pediatrician's office yesterday for their well check-ups. Their doctor said she was so excited for us to get our little guy home. Then she said, "This has been a very long pregnancy--I think you're overdue!" I noticed the ticker on the blog...we're working on 11 months now. That is amazing!!

Paperwork Housecleaning

2010-11-16T11:05:00.006-06:00

We finally have our realtor's declaration page for our dossier!! Thank you Winona! Now the only item left is our girls' medicals, and those will have to wait until after our first trip as they expire in 3 months. Speaking of expiring...our home study is set to expire the middle of February, so I've contacted our social worker about what all will be required for that. Four documents for our dossier expire in March, but our case worker said not to work on them until a month before they expire. Everything else is good to go until summer, I think. As I'm typing this I thinking I need to double check on our state clearance expirations. (For those of you new to international adoption, most documents expire 1 year from the date--or earlier if the notary's seal expires before then- -and the documents must be "good" on your court date or they are invalid.) So, expiring documents are equated with "ka-ching"--cost of updates, mailing, document fees, not to mention my time, etc. (But who knows, by God's grace we will have our little boy home before that matters anyway!) I'm just looking ahead as I would kick myself in the behind if a court date was postponed because of expired documents...where's that "I'm Proactive!" t-shirt?? Jeesh, that sounds like a commercial for pharmaceutical meds.

Here's what I've learned in my virgin international adoption run (take it for what it's worth)...aside from the home study (which had to be done first), I should not have been so gung ho on getting our documents for the main dossier finished as quickly as I could. I should have waited until at least our dossier was registered in our region...should of, could of, wish I would of...,but I just knew we would be traveling in the summer! Ha! Ha! Now we're looking at a Siberian winter! (By the way, have you noticed that it really hasn't been that cold in Krasnoyarsk? Are they having a heat wave this winter in anticipation of our arrival? Say it is so!)

Wacky Weather

2010-11-12T09:06:00.004-06:00

Uhmmm, how do I say this kindly....THE WEATHERMAN MISSED IT! We had the potential for a "few showers and a light dusting of snow". Doug took the girls to a play-off football game last night and so I took the opportunity to go to Wal-Mart and push the cart in silence. Not 10 minutes later I heard torrential downpour on Wal-Mart's roof. I was soaked, literally, by the time I got my car loaded. I called Doug on the way home and asked him where he was. Surely he wasn't still at the game with my children! Of course they were. I asked if it was raining. He said, "Hey, we're boy scouts. Don't worry about it. Go home and go to bed." And I heard in the background, "We love you Mom and giggles!" and then he hung up on me. My husband tends to do that when he doesn't want to hear the wisdom of his wife. (He needs to brush up on the boy scout manual as everybody showed up dripping wet despite a field trip to Big Lots for umbrellas before the game...)

All night long we had downpour with thunder and lightening . I mean serious thunder that rocked the house. All night long. Lightening that lit up the entire house. All night long. The kind of storm we have in spring and early summer--not November. And when I finally got out of bed at 5:30 we had snow on the ground. Not a light dusting. It seems that we have had nearly 6 inches. It is still coming down. Big, huge flakes.

I say all this because quite frankly I was starting to get a bit concerned that I was going to have a hard time getting acclimated to Siberia in the winter. We've had nearly 80 degree temps, and it's the middle of November. Finally some cold weather so I can start to grow some fur...

Where's the Prozac when you need it?!!!

2010-11-11T08:00:00.005-06:00

"Write the vision and make it plain on tablets that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time. but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it...;" Habakkuk 2: 2-3

I had envisioned writing a different post last week than the one I'm about to write. I knew from all the people who have gone before us that international adoption would not be for the feint at heart. (And maybe domestic isn't either--I just have zero experience in that). I think in the back of my mind a little part of me was saying, "Yeah, but that's not going to be our story. We're going to have smooth sailing all the way through--it will be amazing." Foolishly I forgot to remember that satan tries to do everything he can to derail us and wipe out the blessings that are ours to be had--and he will if we let him. I love 1 John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world"--so I know we are over comers--no matter what mud and stones satan throws in our faces.

So the mud we got slung at us this month was with our first official referral from MOE. Last week we got the picture and medical abstract on a beautiful baby boy. We contacted two different adoption doctors, Dr. Davies and Dr. Skurkovich, whom I would highly recommend. Both suggested getting some additional medical information based on what seemed some contradictory findings in the medical report, but neither were terribly concerned as the odds were 95% in our favor as long as this little piece of confusion could be cleared up. We are so thankful that we got the information the IA doctors requested before we traveled because in between the time the medical abstract was written up and our visit with the IA doctors, additional tests had been performed on the little boy, and we got that information forwarded to us this week. Needless to say we did not feel like we could accept this referral. I think the fact that we have 2 girls already at our house and having to think about their well being and our responsibility to them as well must be included in our decision. I have often thought that if we had no children in our home that we might have looked differently at our decision.

I realized that my decision not to install the Prozac dispenser in the kitchen might have been a bit on the hasty side when on Monday we got the additional medical info. The tests our IA doctors had recommended had already been done in Russia without us asking and they were not good; I knew that even before I forwarded the info to the IA doctors. We were given some additional information on the birth mother and I just broke down crying in anger, disbelief, and sadness. I just wanted to get on a plane and sweep him out of there. In all reality, God was with us through out this. (1) We had chosen two IA doctors who asked for specific follow up questions (2) We did get the information before we spent thousands of dollars flying over there. Those of you who travel blind--I truly stand in awe! (3) Our agency was very proactive in getting us the requested information.

I heard God tell me early one morning this week while I was praying, "Either you believe My word, or you don't." It's as black and white as that. I was quickly reminded of Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." When Doug and I started this process, we confessed several things over our adoption. Doug reminded me of that, and this huge burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. And then yesterday morning, even before we got the 100% certain news, Habakkuk 2: 2-3 was brought to my attention. Yesterday afternoon however, my heart was heavy with sadness as I said goodbye to this beautiful baby boy. I felt like I had attended a funeral before it was all said and done. I notified the IA doctors of our decision, took down his picture that I had been looking at daily for the last 9 days, and filled out some necessary paperwork. I know there is a family out there who is not only equipped to handle his health issues but willingly welcomes them, and I pray it will be a realization for him soon. I know he could use your prayers as well. (By the way, I told our case worker that this process could be made a bit easier if we didn't get the photo until afterwards...)

So where does that leave us? First, with faith we know that God is orchestrating the events and timing for the boy who will become a member of our family. Second, this was an official referral from MOE, so we have to have a refusal letter notarized and apostilled and sent to Russia before we can receive another child. That will be put in the mail to Austin today. The regional operator for our region is on vacation until the last week of November, so we won't be expecting anything until December. What that means for you is you'll have to endure some more Russian 101 to fill the time.

On a positive note, I have a beautiful niece who was born Monday! (Not to imply that my riveting dissertations on Russian culture and history are not the greatest things since sliced bread...)

Will You Answer the Cry?

2010-11-06T10:43:00.015-06:00

Click here to learn more:

Watch the 60 minute special here
that is hosted by best-selling author and founding pastor of Cornerstone Church Francis Chan and featuring GRAMMY-winning recording artists Steven Curtis Chapman and Mark Shultz. This program addresses ways that every Christian can have an impact on the life of an orphan.

Is the Honeymoon Over??

2010-11-04T18:41:00.007-06:00

I have been quite amazed at how well received the news of our adoption plans have gone over with our girls. Save for the first few weeks after our announcement (read January 7 post), Annsley and Kennedi have been rather positive and excited about the whole process--until today. Here was the conversation that occurred about 4:30PM while driving to ballet...

Kennedi (out of the blue): Mom, I want a baby girl buther.
Me: A baby girl brother? Honey, God only makes girls or boys. A brother is going to be a boy.
Kennedi (after a thoughtful silence): Oh.
Silence for about 1/2 block...
Annsley (under her breath and with a hint of disgust): And-baby-makes-5! [Where did that come from I ask??]
Me: 5 what?
Annsley: 5 in our family. You know you're going to have to clean up after 4 don't you?
Me (realizing where this conversation is headed): Clean up after 4? What do you mean by that?
Annsley: Me, Kennedi, Daddy AND Brother. After we play Tickle and make messes. Big messes! Think how hard it will be.
Kennedi: It's going to be hard.
Annsley: It's going to be a lot of work. I think you need to think about that. (Hammering her point home) A lot of work.
Kennedi: Yeah, you're goin to have to get out the bibs and everything!

What did they do? Call a super secret sisters only meeting under the bed the other night and start discussing the realities of the situation at hand? Is the fact that they are going to have to start sharing bedroom space getting to both of them? Have they come to the realization that Daddy only has 2 arms and with a 3rd addition somebody is going to be left to hoofing it and it's probably going to be the oldest one? Is her spot at the dinner table that sacred? Are they really that jealous over the stacking cups I bought for their brother? I feel like that Brady Bunch episode where Marcia moves her room into the attic, and the boys create a wave of nuisances for her hoping she'll realize that it is a big pain to have to walk up and down all those stairs. Surely my 6 and 4 year old can't intellectualize that thought process! Or can they???

Several weeks ago, Annsley made the comment at the table that babies are a lot of work. She was questioning how I was going to continue doing various things around the house with her baby brother around. I didn't think any thing about it at the time, but in retrospect obviously she's been stewing over that. And now she has Kennedi in cohorts with her.

Movin' On Up!

2010-11-02T15:16:00.003-06:00

(Yes, we're #1!!)

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Yes, we're #1 as of this week!!!! (I'm just conjuring up memories of that cheer from high school..."We're #1, can't be #2, we're going to beat the whoopee out of you!!)

The Pearl of Siberia

2010-10-25T08:40:00.000-05:00

And some more Russian 101...

Lake Baikal is the world's largest and deepest freshwater lake. It is located in Eastern Siberia in the region of Irkustsk. It has approximately 12,000 sq. miles of surface area! It has an average depth of 2442 ft; at its deepest point it is nearly 5387ft! To give you an idea of just how big this mammoth is it would take the largest rivers in the world (Volga, Don, Dneper, Yenisei, Ural and Ob, Ganges and Orinoko, Amazon, Thames, Secne, Oder) nearly one year to fill the lake's basin. It would take nearly 400 years for all the rivers, streams, and brooks now flowing into Lake Baikal to fill the lake! Crater Lake is the deepest lake in the Western Hemisphere and it is only 1949 ft!

It represents 20% of the world's reserves for fresh water and contains 80% of the fresh water for the former Soviet Union. It is home to over 1700 species--2/3 of which can only be found there. It is also one of the clearest lakes on the Earth. It usually freezes in January with the ice 2-3 ft thick. It will start to thaw in May.

How awesome is that? It almost makes me want to grab a train and head up there in the middle of a Siberian winter while we're there. I know that's not going to happen, but it sounds like it is an incredible sight doesn't it?

The Story About Baby Brother

2010-10-22T14:34:00.008-05:00

Our case worker told me this week that she thought the couple in front of us would be getting their referral this week. So, we continue to wait. While we wait, I did some more shopping for our travels. Going with many people's advice from FRUA , I decided to purchase a power strip that we could use to plug in all our electronics at the same time. I ordered ours from East West International in Houston. You just tell them what country you will be using it in, and they send you the strip with the correct plug in. And all for $40 including shipping! By the way, those of you adopting from Eastern European countries, if you haven't perused the FRUA website and visited their chat boards, you can find a wealth of information there.

My 6 year old wrote a story this morning about her soon to be brother. She prefaced reading it to me by saying, "This is a very special story." So true Baby Girl!

(This is the picture she drew. You have an airplane going to Russia. The blue is the ocean we have to fly over, and the building is the orphanage. The sky is black because we have to fly at night.)

(This is her story titled Baby Brother: One day my mom and dad went to Russia. They yelled, "Baby Brother!" Then they took him home.)

Thank You Lord for these precious children you've given me! They never cease to amaze me!

Funnel of Favor

2010-10-20T10:52:00.003-05:00

Man, three posts in one week! Yes, blog history is in the making right now! :)

Just a little hallelujah shout this morning. Our case worker emailed me yesterday evening and said they just got word that the psychiatric exam is no longer required in our region!!!!!!! Whoo Hooo! That was the one "big" thing left on our dossier in order for us to get a court date. With glee I will go ahead and mark through that item!

"Let no mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the table of your heart, And so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man." Proverbs 3:3-4

The Last Train Home

2010-10-19T12:28:00.000-05:00

Every day for the past week Doug asks me the same question when he gets home in the afternoon, "Have we heard anything from our agency?" No Dear. Trust me, you'll be the first to know!

My girls decided to make their baby brother some pictures to decorate his wall with. I'll put them in a frame and hang them when we have his room ready. I am so thankful that they are so excited about adding a brother to our family--at least in theory right now!

I broke down, scratched the itch and did some shopping the other day for our little boy. Nothing too serious, and when I was in Kohl's the other day, I did manage to just give a sweeping glance at the glow of orange, blue, and green emitting from the infant boys 75% off clearance racks. Can clothes designers come up with anything other than those colors for boys????

Thanks to my sister, our little boy even has a few boy toys to play with. She graciously donated some her sons' baby toys, so now his dad doesn't need to be so concerned that he'll be playing with Barbie and making truck noises at the same time. I have serious doubts that he will be deficient in the area of "boy toys" anyway knowing the past history of his soon to be grandmas!

Our little boy now has these things in his repertoire...Sassy Poppin' Car (my girls both loved the one they had) and a new set of stacking cups as the ones the girls had are now filled with dirt for making mud pies.

This Taggie Lion hopefully will be left with our son at the orphanage on our first trip. My girls loved their taggie blankets, but this is the first "stuffed animal" taggie that I've seen. It's amazing the new stuff they've come out with since my girls were little!

This book was marked down to $4.99 at Hastings the other day. This is absolutely the cutest little book I think I've ever seen! Every page is interactive. It has a page with 4 tires that rotate and has a tire pressure gauge that you remove to check the tires. I has a page with the engine, and you pull tabs to check the oil. There is even a page that has a steering wheel that turns and a removable key to insert into the ignition. This one screams BOY! :)

This book is absolutely precious. I love the end of the book..."Little Fox was glad that he had a cozy home and good food and a mama who loved him very, very much. And he went to sleep dreaming about the day he came to the big woods...and first smelled his mama...and knew he was loved...and finally was home."
And finally was home...those words just hit me over the head when I read them. Our little boy is in this orphanage (a depot if you will) and waiting for the last train of his journey to take him home. Our home. The home God has designated for him to grow up and be loved in. The orphanage is simply a vehicle that God is using so we can "find" him and bring him home to rest. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 Isn't that an awesome thought?

Psalm 91

2010-10-18T11:51:00.010-05:00

(On a topic totally unrelated to today's post...Annsley currently has a walking stick crawling all over her. This child can't be from my genes!)

My oldest daughter has everything compartmentalized into black or white. There is no gray. (With Kennedi, the world is various shades of gray. Some days are darker than others--literally.) Annsley's structured world can be a good thing--and sometimes it's a "lighten up Girl! It'll be OK if we do it differently this time around". You show her how to do something the first time, and that's the way it will be done forever--so you better show her the way you want it done that first time. She gets all up in arms about people's handwriting for example. The printed block "Y" has no curves in it; when she began printing, my little then 4 year old would get so mad in the car coming home from church because her teacher wrote her name with the wrong "y". (Her teacher had used the cursive "y" in her name--oh the sacrilege!) She said to us as much as herself, "I'm gonna have to have a talk with her next Sunday. She better not write my "y" wrong again!" She is also great at keeping you accountable although I'm not always sure I fully appreciate my 6 year old in that respect. It is often a bit daunting.

Lately I have felt impressed to daily pray Psalm 91 over all three of my children. In order to make it tangible for them to know what mommy and daddy are doing, I bought a jar and marbles, and for each day we pray that, Doug and I each deposit one marble into our Psalm 91 jar. Every morning Annsley is checking to see if more marbles have been added. I did forget one morning and I experienced her "wrath." (Hands on hips, wrinkled up face, and that "Mommmm! You said you were going to say Psalm 91 every day!") Oh the pressure! Kennedi is just happy to get to put my marble into the jar for me. She now is telling me that she prayed Psalm 91 over daddy and me trying to get to add still another marble to the jar. (She actually says something like, "Mommy, I prayed Psalms ninety-one two eighty over you and daddy!") It is such a comforting scripture, especially when I think about our little boy spending his days in a government run orphanage so many miles away.

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation."

Matryoshkas!

2010-10-12T12:10:00.010-05:00

Just when you thought your crash course in Russian-ology was over...

Matryoshka dolls (pronounced MOT-TREE-OSH-KAH) are famous all over the world. They are the wooden nesting dolls. The first matryosha was made in 1890. The name stems from the Old Russian peasant female name Matryona, which was a popular among the peasants. Its Latin root means mother, and it is associated with the image of a mother of a big peasant family who was not only healthy but portly. Typically, the biggest doll is a woman and the inner pieces can be either gender. A baby is typically the smallest inner piece. They traditionally follow a theme--from dress to fairy tale characters to Soviet leaders.

The largest matryoshka contained 72 pieces. It cost approximately 3000 rubles in 1970. A popular Soviet car at that time cost 5000 rubles! I personally can't imagine a dolls costing as much as my car, but then again, I'm not Russian...

Here is a matryoshka of famous Soviet leaders:

Smile for the Birdy!

2010-10-06T21:47:00.003-05:00

After our case worker had suggested last month that we start looking into visas, I decided this week to get proactive about it and go ahead and have our photos taken. The more time we have to get these visas processed, the cheaper, so I'm thinking that if I already have the photos ready to go, I can overnight the paperwork immediately when the time comes and maybe save on some expedited fees, which equates to several hundreds of dollars saved. (All in a perfect world, right?)

Let me back up and tell you about my photo for my passport. Knowing that my passport was going to be good for 10 years or so, I wanted a good--no great--picture in there. I mean, there is nothing worse than taking a horrible driver's license picture and having to look at it for the next four years. So, I actually put earrings on and applied makeup for my passport debut. And, not trying to toot my own horn, it is truly one of the best pictures I've had taken in about 5 years. (Then again, it doesn't take a lot to beat the stay at home mom look I've got going on...)

Fast forward to the passport photos to be used for our visas... I actually had the photos taken last week, but I went back to the photo place this morning to have them redo them. Doug came home with his earlier this week, and well, they look really good. I noticed that mine had about 3 glare spots on my face, the printer put some kind of ghastly herpes looking sore on my bottom lip, and I was smiling. I vaguely remember reading that these visa pictures were to have a neutral expression. The photo place gladly offer to redo them for me this morning. In an effort to get rid of the glare, they closed every blind in the place. When that didn't work, they hauled out a huge bill board and covered the front door. When that didn't work, they had me tilt my glasses forward on my face. I somehow managed to entangle the ear pieces in my hair to get them to stay that way long enough for the girl to snap the picture, and alas it was met with success. Of course, I remembered to keep my "neutral" face on.

I look like a convict getting her picture taken after being fingerprinted. The only things missing are the orange overalls and the yardstick to measure your height behind the picture. The picture that will be seen by the Russian Consulate and attached forever in my beautiful, still crackles when you open it passport book, looks likes a mug shot. Makeup? No. Earrings? No. Happy to be going to Russia look? No. I did slap on the lip gloss just minutes before taking the picture, but that effort could be akin to trying to kill a plague of locust with a fly swatter. Trust me when I say that did NOTHING to make my photo more aesthetic! The lady showed Annsley the digital picture before she printed it out and said, "I think your mom should have smiled."

Homage to Rachel Ray and the like

2010-10-04T14:39:00.007-05:00

OK, I hate cooking. For whatever reason, I love to bake, and it's somehow not the same thing to me. I'm the black sheep of my family. Up until Annsley was born, Doug told me that in our 15 years of marriage I had only cooked him 20 different meals...probably so, Honey! Both of my grandmothers were awesome cooks, my mother was a great cook (I say was because it doesn't happen very often any more!), my sister Kristin actually knows how to fry a chicken...I missed that gene.

Since I hate cooking, the less I do of it the better. I learned after Kennedi was born that I could brown 2 packages of hamburger meat at one time and save the extra for next time; it didn't take any more effort to bake 12 chicken breasts and freeze the extra than it did to bake only 4 at a time. In an effort to better manage my time with the soon to be addition of #3, I decided to embark on my next leg of kitchen know how. I tried the cooking once a month method Saturday. I will have to say that I think I actually saved quite a bit of money because I picked all my recipes from the stuff that was on sale at the grocery store. However, my kitchen looked like something from Hee Haw's Ironing Board Lady's house. I (whether correctly or incorrectly) assumed the goal of the day was to get through it as fast as possible, so there was little cleanup. If my floor wasn't sticky, it was slippery from those pesky little mushrooms that got away. My trash sacks leaked; my stove looked like a tomato and rice bomb had exploded all over it. My sink was piled high with pots, pans, dishes, and measuring spoons. By the end of the day, I had 22 meals in the freezer (I miscalculated and was short the full 30 meals--go figure), and at 11:00 at night as I was scrubbing my stove, I was seriously wondering if it had been worth it. It was so bad that I even decided to clean the oven. Ask me in a few weeks if it was worth it, but as of today, I have serious doubts as to whether I'll ever by able to "woman up" enough to do that again. Maybe a week's worth will be more my style...

And continuing with my Julia Child Wanna Be Side...Annsley read a story the other week about a family making applesauce, so we made our applesauce. It was my first, it was very easy, and I will say it was a little bit of heaven--especially when it was still warm. Oh my!

In honor of our son's Russian heritage, I made stroganoff yesterday. I got this recipe from a Russian cookbook, Please to the Table. The recipe call for filet mignon, but I used some sort of roast on sale. Really, aren't they both cow? One's just cheaper cow??? I love, love, love my "American" version of beef stroganoff (yes, it's one of the 20 meals Doug has come to know so well...). As a result of last night's meal, I may slowly starve to death while in Russia. I suppose it would have been better if the lid of the dijon mustard hadn't fallen into the sauce, so let's just say it was a bit on the tangy side...Even allowing for that, I hope the people who actually live in that country have a better version of it. There was so much left over that I asked Doug if he wanted to take it to school for lunch. He said no.

Before we ate my stroganoff offering, Annsley, who is already incredibly spiritually sensitive and will be used mightily by God, said this prayer at the table, "Heavenly Father, tonight we are celebrating my baby brother in Russia. Thank you for giving us somebody to love." Yeah, I cried.

On a paperwork note, the Texas Medical Board is AWESOME! I understand from reading countless testimonies that often doctors are very reluctant to give adoptive parents a copy of their license for the dossier. Rather than risk rejection and frustration, I just ordered our pediatrician's license from TMB just to get a time frame of what to expect time wise and money wise because we'll need to have our psychiatrist's license as well when the time comes. I got the copies of the license mailed to me the next day, they notarized it, and billed me! This is the first time in anything adoption that we got something without first paying for it. Kuddos to the Texas Medical Board and your check is in the mail!

Two Down, One to Go!

2010-09-28T15:22:00.003-05:00

I got an update from our case worker this morning. Two of the three families in front of us have received their referrals. Yikes! It's really happening! One more to go and we're up. Isn't this what is called "on deck"? (I'm not a baseball fan, so forgive me. My husband keeps telling me what an exciting game it is, but I have yet to witness it.)

We're still discussing the whole name thing although we are getting closer...well, until one of us adds another one in the hat. Take one off the roster and add one in its place seems to be the theme, but there are a few that seem to remain on the list. We will get there before we leave--whenever that may be.

My husband, the self proclaimed comic, thinks the whole name business is such a breeding ground for shock and horror. If you ask him today what names we're considering, (and remember, we're not sharing these names anyway...) his stock answer will probably be, "Why yes, we've decided. It's my all time favorite boy name--Boliver." He can say it with a straight, serious face and the poor soul listening gets this odd twitch to his face. A few seconds pass by while he processes that, and then asks incredulously, "Really?" Doug's response is simply, "Yes, don't you like it?" People who don't know him very well will then be sucked into his facade of the history and importance of the name Boliver unless I am standing there shaking my head. When we were having our home study visit, our social worker asked how we planned to incorporate our son's culture and heritage into our lives. I, being the thoughtful one, mentioned maintaining bits of Russian language, food, noting Russian holidays, etc. Doug tells her, "Well, we might name him Russian" (he pronounced it Rush-awn).